Red Arrow
by The Moonstar9
Summary: "Well…" he starts slowly. Then, almost immediately, I can tell he's closer to me now. His breath tickling my lips. His warm scent washes over me, almost overwhelming me. "Making out seems to keep bad thoughts at bay…" he murmurs. Then I can suddenly see those sea green eyes, gazing at mine intently. I'm glad it's dark out or he would see my flushed cheeks.
1. Anxious

**Red Arrow**

**Created by: The Moonstar9**

**Original Story by: Suzanne Collins**

**Genre: Romance/Adventure/Action/Hurt/Comfort**

**Author's Note: **_This is more adventure than anything but with just enough romance. This story starts off in Catching Fire and goes all the way through Mockingjay. If you haven't read either books (or watched the Catching Fire movie), then I suggest you do so before continuing. Updates will be Mondays and Fridays [If you're not in the USA, these days may be slightly different for you]. So, if you enjoy romance with that adventure on the side, then you've come to right place. Fasten your seatbelts and hold onto your hats because this is going to be a **radical** ride._

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**Chapter 1: Anxious**

I clench my hands into fists as I walk through the training area. Other trainees were training in several different stations of the tall, wide room. Some of them glare at me or give me odd looks as I pass by them. The second day in training and I still haven't made any friends yet. I remember Haymitch's warning he gave to me and Peeta the other day. "_Forget everything you think you know about the games. Last year was child's play but this year you will be going at it with all experienced fighters. You have to be smart because as soon as you step out on that ring, they will come after you. I suggest you make allies beforehand if you want to live._"

The warning continues to torment my ears as I search about for someone I could talk to. Peeta had suggested we split up so we can cover more ground and develop friends quicker. It was a good idea but I hated being alone and the hostile attention I was getting from most of the tributes. Even though I'm nervous, I stand strong with my shoulders back and chest out with a serious expression. Looking weak will get me nowhere so I have to maintain this confident composure. I pause to watch a District 5 male tribute throw knives at several moving targets. The targets move from side to side at a steady pace; not to slow, not too fast. I see the male's muscles tense up as he brings his arm back. He swings his arm with all his strength, releasing the knife. The blade cuts through the air with ease before soon making contact with the target.

Bull's eye.

I watch this District 5 tribute for a few more seconds thoughtfully. He was very accurate with knives like I was with my bow and arrows. After a moment of consideration, I decide to continue on. Maybe he was too brutal or maybe he looked too easily untrustworthy. I'm not sure. I pass by a few more stations, observing a few tributes. Perhaps I was being picky. Finally I settled on approaching the old woman by the fishing station. Her name was Mags, from District 4. Before I could even get close to the feeble woman, I hear snickering not too far away. Curious, I turn my head to my left. I see two male tributes standing together at a station. A few targets were lined up at a far distance against the wall, opposite them. The males kept murmuring to each other quietly while taking glances my way and snickering to each other.

I know who they are.

Finnick and Gloss, from District 4 and District 1, respectively.

I remember the other day at training, Finnick tried flirting with me while he helped me at the knot station. And Gloss…I never spoke to Gloss. They snicker again at me and I know they are definitely talking about me, but I don't know why and I don't care either. I never planned to make friends with them anyway. They must've seen me narrowing my eyes at them because Finnick waves at me; a mocking wave I assume.

"Hi Katniss!"

I ignore him of course as I turn away, making my way towards Mags again. I hear them snicker again and I clench my fists together tighter. Then I remember that I should make friends but I definitely shouldn't make enemies. Haymitch's warning comes to my mind again, "_they will come after you_." A sigh escapes my lips. Having two strong tributes against me is a bad idea and they'll surely team up, seeming to already made allies out of each other. But I have no idea what they have against me. What did I ever do to them?

My head turns when I hear Finnick's voice calling me over. Even though I am angry, I find my feet dragging me over to the two males. The grins never leave their faces as they watch me make my way towards them. I stop in front of them and force a small grin; it's hard, but not impossible.

"Katniss," Finnick says in amusement. "Glad you could join us." I see a bow in one of his hands and three arrows in between his fingers in his other hand. I wonder if he's going to shoot one. The thought of seeing him miss fills me with comfortable enjoyment.

Gloss stares me down, sizing me up. "We were talking about you."

I narrow my eyes. _I appreciate you being blunt_. "I've noticed. What about?" I know it can't be good but I pretend to be oblivious.

Finnick nods in confirmation. "See that target down there?" he asks, pointing towards the farthest of all targets. It was at least seventy feet away; eighty at most. I nod. "And that tiny, red dot on the target?"

I don't see it at first. I squint my eyes at the target, my eyes traveling all over the sphere shape. Then I see it. It's just a tiny little speck right in the center of the target. "I see it." I say.

"Good," Finnick stares at me now. "Gloss bets that you can't hit that red point from this far but I beg to differ."

I glance at the target again and have to squint at the red dot. Did Finnick really think I could hit that?

"You get three tries," Gloss says and Finnick hands me the bow and an arrow before I can decide if I want to go through with it. "If you miss all three times, you'll be my first victim when the games start," I wonder if he's joking but when a wicked smirk appears on his face I know he's not. "If you hit the red dot at least once, then I'll save you for last in the games. Promise. Fair enough?"

I gulp quietly but nod my head. I lost my will to speak.

"Don't worry," Finnick murmurs in my ear from behind. "You have my confidence."

_Very comforting_. I thought, shrugging Finnick away. "What about you? What do you want from me?" I ask him.

Finnick stares thoughtfully at his knuckles for a few seconds. Then he looks up at me with a grin. "We can discuss that when you've proved him wrong."

I never agreed in doing this, but why I am standing here ready to release an arrow then? I don't even know if Gloss will keep his promise anyway. The guy was clearly strong, with his bulging arms and legs, and he was quick too. I'm quick as well though. If I lose this bet and he tries to take me out right away in the games, I can surely take him if I get my hands on a bow, right? Despite the result of this bet, the outcome will remain the same; both of us will die in the games because Peeta's going to win.

Taking in a deep breath, I position the arrow. My eyes narrow at the tiny dot in the distance. It seemed like the dot became blurry and blurry and farther away the longer I stared at it. My hands begin to shake. I clench my fingers around the bow and arrow tighter to stop them. I blink my eyes and exhale. _Breathe. Just keep breathing_. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale…

"Any day now, Everdeen." I hear Gloss mutter boringly a few feet from me.

I exhale and release the arrow. The long arrow made a swoosh sound in the air, lights from the ceiling bouncing off its silver point. Then its point makes contact with the target. I lower my bow to see the result. Unfortunately, I missed but not by far. I turn to Gloss and Finnick. Gloss has a smug look on his face but Finnick looks almost impressed.

"Two more." Gloss says as Finnick hands me another arrow.

I position myself again, a bit more nervously this time. As I inhale and exhale again, I hear Gloss begin to tap his foot rhythmically on the floor. His attempts at distracting me doesn't work. As my hand releases the second arrow, Gloss lets out an unexpected shout, "Wow!" My arrow doesn't hit the target at all this time. It hit the wall next to it instead.

I shoot a glare at Gloss. "You did that purposely!"

Gloss's grin spreads.

Finnick shrugs. "One more try." He hands me the last arrow.

"But I was distracted." I protest.

"There will be distractions during the games. Get used to it." Gloss says, that smug look never leaving his stupid features.

Finnick only shrugs again.

_Damn you both._ I thought as I position myself for the final time. My hands were shaking wildly this time; I'm surprised the two males didn't notice. Inhaling and exhaling…inhaling and exhaling. I'm finding it hard to relax because Gloss keeps tapping his foot, mocking me. He wants me to miss. He wants me to lose. He wants me dead. I won't let that happen. I won't let him win.

"Why don't we cheer her on?" Gloss suggests to Finnick. He begins to chant my name. "Lets go Katniss! Kat-niss! Kat-niss!"

Finnick joins in and I feel a growl gurgling in my throat. What's wrong with Finnick? Does he want me to win or not?

I notice from the corner of my eyes that we were gaining a few spectators. I turn my head a little. Peeta was among them, with a curious look. Does everyone know about this bet? I turn my attention back to the red point on the target. This is my last chance. My last chance to prove myself. My heart is racing, sweat is seeping through the pours on my forehead, my eyes are blurry, my spine is tingling, and my ears are twitching every time Finnick and Gloss chant my name. I breathe, trying my best to tune out every sound and everything around me. I force my mind to focus on the red dot only.

_Focus, Katniss. Focus._

_Breathe, Katniss. Breathe._

When my eyes zoom in on the red dot, I let the arrow ago. And time has slowed down. I see the arrow, tearing into the still air. I hear it pushing towards the target and Gloss and Finnick's faint chants of false encouragement. I feel my heart rate. It's incredibly slow. Then there's a faint clack sound. The arrow hit the target. When I look, I know I hit the red dot.

I turn around. My eyes light up at Gloss's shocked expression and Finnick's calm eyes. The few spectators that formed around us begin to clap lightly. My eyes lock with Peeta's and he's smiling at me.

"Let me see this," Gloss growls, pushing past me. He's very angry; red faced and burning eyes. He begins to march down towards the target to make sure his eyes aren't playing tricks on him. Finnick and I follow him down, that stupid grin still plastered on my face. "That's _impossible_." Gloss says, his face distorted and bright red with anger. The three of us were staring at the arrow stuck firmly on the board, directly glued to the red dot.

Bull's eye.

Finnick gives me a round of applause. "Wonderful. Never doubted you for a second, Girl on Fire."

I give a short bow. I can't help myself. My face is still lit with amusement and Gloss keeps staring at the arrow in shock.

I turn to Finnick. "Well…what's your prize? Considering an alliance perhaps?" I know he'll make a good ally because he looks smart and strong. Not sure he's trustworthy though like he appears to be.

"Maybe…" he murmurs. He leans closer to my face, to my ear, that I can smell his warm, fishy breath and smell his salty scent. "I have something else in mind…" his lips brushes my ear and I feel a tingling sensation run down my spine.

I push him away, shakily. "Keep dreaming, Odair."

_**To be continued...**_


	2. Brood

**Chapter 2: ****Brood**

**Updated: 1/10/2014**

I walk away from Finnick and Gloss, towards Peeta who is waiting for me. I see that his smile is a mixture between confusion and content. He's as amazed as everyone else was when they witnessed my skillful tactics with the bow. Anyone would eyes could see that I was an export; like, I was naturally born to possess and use such a weapon marvelously.

"You have to tell me, _how_ you did that." Peeta says when I reach him.

I shrug casually, brushing it off as if it were nothing. "I'm skillful with my bow." I say. I didn't believe for a second that I could do it but I amazed myself when I did. Gloss and Finnick put so much pressure on me ─ well mostly Gloss, with threatening my life ─ that I could have missed that last shot.

Two days in a row I proved myself. Yesterday, I shot at several moving hologram figures while everyone watched in amazement and today I proved myself yet again with my bow by making contact with nearly a hundred feet away red dot on a target. I wonder what's in store for me tomorrow.

I turn my attention to the old woman, Mags, who is still making nets by herself. I consider going over finally, but I turn to Peeta first. "Have you talked to anyone yet?" I ask him.

"I spoke with Johanna." he replies with a light, uncomfortable shrug. I know something's up.

"What's wrong with her?"

"Nothing's wrong with her particularly speaking…" Peeta says slowly. "I don't know. She's very…well she speaks her mind _a lot_."

I have an idea of what he means. Yesterday I witnessed the girl attacking the air with a large axe in training. Her expression was mean, vicious, filled with malice. No doubt her intentions at ripping someone apart in the games are clear enough. Her behavior is sort of understandable. All of the tributes were upset about the news of being put back into the games, even myself. They had it easy though. I've only been out of the games for a year and now I have to go back in so soon. Them, they had years to be free before going back in. Not that they deserved to go back though…

"Aside that, she's very strong though and skillful too," Peeta continues. He laughs. "She tried to make me lift weights with her, to build muscle, but I told her I'd pass."

I smile. "She sounds dangerous. If she's as strong and skillful as you say maybe we need her on our side."

Peeta slaps the back of his neck; perhaps a bug or something landed there. "I hear she's good friends with Finnick and it seems that you already got him on our side. It'll work." He says surely.

As much as I disliked the idea of having Finnick on our side, I had to agree with Peeta. Finnick was muscular and very efficient with his trident but he was dangerous. He also swims too, then again, so can I, but I don't see how that would be much of help to us. I don't know. Would it be smart to have two strong allies that can easily take us out when the time came?

Pushing my thoughts away, I suggest to Peeta we go over to meet Mags. I hear she was Finnick's mentor in his last games. As we approach the old woman, she looks up from making a net to smile at us.

"Hi Mags." I greet her warmly.

She nods and smiles bigger at us.

I come over to her side and ask her gently, "Would you mind showing us how you make a net? Maybe I'll show you a few tricks with a bow in exchange?" I don't know if I'll show her how to use a bow. I don't even think she is capable of using any kind of weapon. Perhaps it was a bad suggestion.

She nods again anyway and begins to show me how to start a net off. As I watch her, I feel a pang of sadness in my heart. How cruel can President Snow be to let such a frail, poor, old woman put back into brutal, murderous games? He should know that she won't even make it passed the bloodbath. At that moment I vow that I'll make Snow pay for this one way or the other.

**(o)(o)(o)**

I find myself in a room with Haymitch and Peeta. I'm sitting in a comfortable brown sofa, Peeta sitting next me, with Haymitch standing across from us with a dark bottle of booze in his hand.

"Have you both decided who you want as your allies?" Haymitch asks, looking from me to Peeta with narrowed eyes. He had one hand in his pocket, the other wrapped around the booze bottle. His voice was slurred and unsteady.

Maybe it'd smart if he was at least sober to have this conversation? Is this not crucial enough?

Peeta glances at me expectantly and I know he's letting me speak first. "I want Mags." The name slipped off my tongue automatically. I have no idea why Mags' name popped into my head first. I should've said Finnick.

Haymitch's lazy eyes stare at me as if I grew another head. "You sure about that, sweetheart?" he asks. "Sure you don't want someone that can actually…_move_?" And he flops onto the sofa across from us with a low thud, taking a swig of his drink.

"She wants Finnick and Gloss too." Peeta says, shooting me a look.

"I never said that." I narrow my eyes at Peeta.

"You're not helping me here, Katniss."

"Sorry but Gloss hates me and Finnick never gave me a straight answer." It's the truth. That playful "maybe" could mean anything. I remember when Finnick brushed his lips against my ear and feel my heart rate quicken. Then I brush that thought away as quickly as it came.

Haymitch takes another long swig from his drink before speaking. "Oh-kay. I'll leave this at undecided," his voice then surprisingly becomes serious. "Wait. Did you say Gloss hates you?"

I bite the inside of my cheek. "Yes."

Haymitch points his bottle at me, his eyes narrowing into slits. "I said to make friends not enemies, sweetheart. Do you want to live or die?" His voice is sluggish but I know he's being very serious. He would've been angrier if he weren't so drunk.

"You and I both know she wants to live," Peeta replies for me. "She's having a difficult time fitting in with everyone. Don't worry, we'll have more allies than enemies when the games start."

I give Peeta a grateful look and he just nods to me in return.

"And I should hope so," Haymitch says. "You two only have a few days left to make a decision. No one's going to wait for you two for long so don't waste the time you have." And he breaks into a fit of coughing, probably because the drink went down the wrong pipe.

I let Haymitch's words sink in. I hate hearing his smart talk and knowing that he's always right. So far I've made two friends and one enemy. Tomorrow at training I'll make sure to talk with more tributes and make at least three more friends. That was my goal. But for now, my goal was to get some food into my belly. It's already time for dinner.

Peeta and I go to a dining hall that's reserved just for the tributes for dinner. When we enter, all eyes land on us. Not every tribute was there but enough to make my skin crawl uncomfortably under their deadly stares. Gulping quietly, Peeta guides me towards the buffet table where all sorts of food are laid out just for us. Several varieties of meats and veggies are placed right in front of us, hot and cold, and very fresh. My stomach growls hungrily just at the sight of these goods. I grab myself a plate and tray and begin to pick out foods for myself.

By time Peeta and I had our plates fixed up, we find ourselves an empty table and sit side by side each other to show our unison. I had fixed my plate up with orange chicken, mashed potatoes, and beans with a side of some kind of blue punch. The two of us ate silently together, hand in hand. I was still aware of eyes on us and I look up over at a table across from us. Gloss and Cashmere are eating at the table together, gazing over at me and Peeta ─ mostly me─ angrily. When my eyes meet Gloss's, he looks away in disgust. I know for sure now that he won't be keeping his promise after all. I'll be the first on his death list when the games start.

Suddenly a tray hits down onto our table across from us. I glance up to see Finnick looking as gorgeous as ever. He smiles at us before sliding into the seat opposite me. "Afternoon." He says.

"Afternoon." Peeta gives the District 4 tribute a curt nod in greeting.

I don't say anything as I devour my meal.

"Oh, Katniss," Finnick says unexpectedly. "I was thinking about what you said about the alliance earlier and I've made up my mind."

"Oh?" I don't look at him as I place a fork of beans into my mouth thoughtfully.

"We should team up."

"Agreed." I say, my eyes sparkling in interest. I don't know if I was relieved or surprised. Maybe both.

"Good. Now there's four of us." Peeta says in satisfaction. That included Mags, I think.

Finnick stirs up his smoothie with his straw. I watch as his perfect lips cover the tip slowly. He begins to slurp through it, his cheeks caving in with each suck, enjoying every bit of the taste. I chew my bottom lip. Strange how someone can look incredibly alluring drinking from a straw. I force myself to look away from Finnick as he begins to speak. "So… we get to spend a little time together. You, me, Peeta, and Mags." He gives me a flirtatious wink and I grit my teeth with my mouth closed.

_Don't even look at him. He's trying to tease you._ I thought, forcing a fork full of mashed potatoes into my mouth.

Unexpectedly Johanna appears next to Finnick. "This seat taken?" she asks him.

"No."

And she sits down with a thud next to him, slamming her tray onto the table in front of her. Her hair is combed straight down neatly and she's dressed sophisticatedly but her expression and demeanor is malicious. She eyes me from across the table with narrowed eyes. "Wow. I never thought I'd be eating with the great Katniss Everdeen." She says sarcastically.

"What's that supposed to mean?" my voice comes out too defensively.

Johanna leans over the table, a glare contorting her features. "It means, I don't care who you are or what you stand for," her voice was quiet but very ice cold. "I know you think you're special just because you had the guts to defy the Capitol with those berries. I know that you and Peeta's loving relationship is just a sick façade." I don't know why but she says that last part quietly.

I give Peeta's hand a light squeeze. I'm not sure what to say to Johanna's accusation. Defending myself against her instantly would clearly expose myself as a liar and not replying at all will for sure expose myself. I think quickly for the right words.

Finnick saves me by speaking first. "Don't be ridiculous, Johanna." He's staring at me and Peeta though with a questioning look.

"Right," Peeta puts in calmly, evenly. "Our relationship is as real as it can get." He leans and kisses me on the lips afterwards for good measure.

"Cute," Johanna mocks. "Real or fake, I don't care. We're being put back into the games and that's freaking _insane_."

"We were just discussing that before you showed up. You should join our alliance." Finnick suggests.

Johanna doesn't seem interested. She rolls her eyes slightly and folds her arms across her chest. "Whatever. The whole thing is bull-shit. The games, President Snow, and the Capitol," she points her fork at me, then Peeta, and then Finnick. "We're supposed to live our lives with our luxury and riches and what do we get years later? Death," she jabs her fork into her pasta repeatedly but she doesn't eat any. "Snow wants us dead and _that_ is _bull_."

I'm surprised at Johanna expressing her angers with us. I knew she was upset about it but not _this_ upset.

"Ooh," Finnick says, voice in a teasing manner, "careful with the language around the kids, Johanna." He gestures towards me and Peeta.

"So what?" she snaps. "I hope President Snow rots in hell with Satan. He's old, his time is coming," she angrily keeps jabbing her fork into her pasta even though she had enough on her fork. Suddenly she drops her fork onto the tray altogether and pushes the tray away from her. "You know what? Screw this disgusting food and screw all of you." And she gets up and marches away.

"Johanna!" Finnick is quick to hurry after her.

I blink my eyes quickly. "Wow." I say quietly, shifting uncomfortably after they're gone.

"That was interesting," Peeta says awkwardly before turning to me. "She seems to really like you and President Snow. Still want her on our team?"

"Being that malicious…" I consider the possibility for a moment then I shake my head. "Yes and no."

_**To be continued…**_


	3. Confirmed

**Chapter 3**

**Confirmed**

**Updated: 1/13/2014**

I'm standing in a dark forest. I don't know where I am but this forest seems familiar. Dark trees loom overhead under the dark sky and they extend on for what seems like forever. There are no stars in the sky, just pitch blackness. Everything thing above me is in total darkness and what gives me light is the only star in the sky; the moon. I'm wearing a sleeveless shirt and short shorts and I am barefoot. I wrinkle my feet in the soil below my feet and something feels wrong. Glancing down I don't see soil but blood instead. My blood. I know it's my blood because there's a large gash on my right leg. For some reason I feel no pain in my leg just the flow of the thick blood oozing down it.

I begin to walk through the woods, arms crossed over my chest. There's someone I'm looking for. Though I'm not sure _who_ I'm looking for. A gust of wind blows my hair and I catch the sight of movement in the corner of my eye. Turning to my left, I see nothing but the dark figures of the tall oak trees moving in unison in the wind. The trees seem to be guiding me towards something…someone. They are all pointing in a certain direction with their newly grown arms and I follow in that direction without a second thought. I know they are trying to help me find who I'm looking for. As I walk, the wind begins to pick up vigorously.

"Katniss!" a voice echoes my name desperately against the harsh gust of wind. "Katniss!"

"Peeta!" I scream, running towards the source of the calls. Peeta needs me. He's in pain; I know he is. I shouldn't have left him alone. I shouldn't have left him alone. I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid.

My feet hits the forest floor quickly, twigs and rocks jabbing into them but I pay no attention. I halt when I see two figures no further than ten feet from me. It's Gloss and Peeta. The large muscular man is standing over Peeta's smaller form who's on the ground whimpering. Gloss raises the knife in his right hand, the moonlight bouncing off the shiny blade, and he brings the knife down onto Peeta's chest.

"Peeta!" I scream again, sitting up. My forehead is drenched with perspiration and I find myself in my bed. It's still dark out but the city lights light up my room a bit from the large window. I let out a loud sigh of relief, tracing a hand over my forehead.

Someone suddenly swings my room door open. "Katniss? Are you okay?" Peeta's voice asks in concern. I can't see his form in the darkness. He makes his way over to my bed and the light from the window overcomes the darkness that surrounded him. I'm able to see his face.

"A nightmare…" I murmur, almost embarrassed. I had called out Peeta's name for real when I thought I did in the dream. "Can you stay with me tonight? I don't think I'll be able to sleep well without you."

"Of course, Katniss." He says as he climbs into the bed with me.

I sigh as I rest my sweaty head on his chest. He doesn't seem to mind though as he wraps a protective arm around me. I'm feeling much better now that Peeta's here to comfort me. I'm able to drift off to a deep slumber easily.

In the morning, I have breakfast with Peeta, Haymitch, and Effie in our dining room. I'm sitting next to Peeta at the table, eating a stack of buttered pancakes. Peeta offers me some syrup which I take in gratitude and pour over my pancakes. Most of the time when I find myself eating a belly filling meal, I feel guilty because my friends and family back home aren't eating like this. Well, except for Prim and mom and I'm sure they'll let Gale help himself to their foods. But everyone else in District 12 can't afford big meals like this and that's why I feel so guilty most of the time.

I place the fork into my mouth delicately as I watch the television that's hung high on the wall in front of me. Some boring Capitol, comedy show was on.

"Today is the final day of training and then you'll move on to your private sessions," Haymitch says to Peeta and me. "I expect you two to make more allies. At least two or three more will do." He drinks some clear alcoholic beverage from a glass cup.

"We're still deciding if we'll have Johanna or not." Peeta's words are more like a question than a statement as he looks my way.

I think for a moment. Johanna's behavior the other day was quite bizarre but maybe bizarreness is what we need. "I'm not sure," I say finally. "We'll make sure to talk to the rest of the tributes today."

"Make sure you do." Haymitch says.

"You pressure them too much," Effie says in her high pitched voice. "Don't worry yourself. I promise that Katniss and Peeta will have as many friends by the end of the day."

"Yeah, friends we'll eventually kill in the end." I say.

Effie's expression becomes solemn and she blinks uncomfortably. Peeta is staring at me from beside me and Haymitch just enjoys his drink. I didn't mean to make Effie upset, I was just stating a fact. I never wanted to get to know the other tributes in the first place. Making friends will just make it that much harder to kill in the games. I don't know if I'll be able to do that.

The rest of the breakfast is uncomfortable and silent after what I said. Conversations are light and quick as breakfast draws to an end. After we I ate, I gave Effie a hug in apology and she only told me not to worry before breaking down in tears. She cared about us; me and Peeta. Of course she did. She has known us since the last games and we've become very good friends. It must be terrible for her to know that we'll be heading back into our dooms so unexpectedly.

The day ultimately shifts to the afternoon, to training. Gloss's bet spread quickly amongst the tributes, and most of them are actually impressed with my skills with the bow. A lot of them want me to put my skills to the test. Right now the District 5 male from the other day asks if can shoot at fast moving targets for him with my bow. He stands away from me to give me some space as I aim at the first target. The target is moving in slow motion for a few beats but it suddenly jerks to one side unexpectedly before moving at that slow rhythm again.

I watch the target carefully with my arrow following its movement. The target moves slowly for at least a second in a half before jerking to either side. It jerks to the left twice before jerking to the right once. It does this infinitely. I just have to time it when it's moving at that slow rhythm. I wait a few beats, watching the target jerk to left then move slow again. I anticipate its second jerk and let the arrow go as soon as the first jerk ended. My arrow lands right on the target, dead center.

"Whoa-oh!" Says the District 5 tribute in amazement. "Do another!"

Grinning, I move over to the next target, drawing another arrow. This time, this target jerks upward and downward instead of side to side but it keeps that same pattern. I wait until the right moment, which is when the target finishes a jerk, and I release the arrow. It cuts through the air like butter and pierces the heart of the target; right in the center.

I hear the sound of the District 5 tribute clapping his hands. "That was amazing! You have _got_ to be on my team, Katniss. You are a true professional with that bow there. I could use someone like you."

I take notice at the word 'use' but his compliment makes me smile. "I don't know. I'll think about it." I say. I would have to consult Peeta first, because we're in this together.

I leave the District 5 tribute with a wave. Finnick offers me trident lessons later after finishing another test with another tribute. At least I had a break from using the bow and now I can move on to a little something new. Finnick showed me how to use it but I wasn't as skillful as he was. I offered him archery lessons in return and that's where we are now. Finnick has difficulty holding the bow correctly, he keeps misplacing his hands and I have to keep putting them in the right place.

I reach for his hands to put them in the proper places for the hundredth time. "Your hands go here. See?" I'm a little irritated with him by now.

Finnick doesn't seem to mind my snappy attitude. "I get that part. I just don't understand why the arrow won't go anywhere when I release it."

"That's because you haven't tried releasing it yet," I roll my eyes at him. I take the bow and arrow from him to demonstrate. Positioning myself to shoot at a target, I say, "Like this," I pause for a moment to let Finnick examine my position before letting the arrow go. I don't even have to look to know the arrow hit the target dead on. "See?"

"I won't be as good as you though," He says as he retrieves the bow from me. He picks up another arrow from the below pile before getting into position. "Where do my hands go again?"

I sigh through my nose. I'm trying to be patient with him but it's difficult when he's got amnesia. I move closer to him to put his hands in the right places again. As I am placing his hands in the proper places I am aware of him staring at me. "What?" I ask.

"Nothing." Finnick smiles at me but doesn't look away.

Okay, now I'm uncomfortable, especially now that we're standing so close.

"Something wrong, Katniss?" he asks me innocently.

I don't know why but I feel my cheeks begin to flush. "I'm fine," I say before taking a step away from him, trying to act casual. "Let's see you shoot."

Finnick looks away from me, turning his attention on the target. He releases the arrow and a heartbeat later the arrow hits the target nowhere near the center. "Hey Katniss," he says after a few more shots. "Can I see you again, later, after training?"

"Why?" I ask.

He shrugs his shoulders lightly. "Well…you still haven't covered your end of the bet." He looks over his shoulder at me, waggling his eyebrows mischievously.

I swallow hard. That completely slipped my mind. "Don't you have someone else better to torment about that? Maybe some Capitol woman?" I ask, trying to sound calm. I don't wait for an answer. "Come on. Shoot again. Your aim is horrible."

Finnick tears his gaze away from me to zoom in on the target. He releases the arrow. A moment later it hits the target, just inches from the enter. Then he turns back to me, smiling. "Was that horrible enough_, Everdeen_?" his voice came out in a low hiss of amusement.

"That was horrible luck, _Odair_," I hiss in the same tone. "Do it again."

He shoots at the target again but this time the arrow misses the center entirely. "Horrible, unfortunate luck." He sighs, shrugging it off.

After Finnick's horrible archery lesson, he offers to show me how to tie knots in the knot tying station. I watch as he demonstrates for me. His hands move quickly in complicated ways for a few moments until he finally gets his desired result. He dangles it in front of me.

"Get it?" he asks.

I don't respond as I begin to try and copy what he did with my rope. It was difficult to remember everything he did because he was moving so fast. I gave up after the first few tries. "Can you show me again?" I ask finally.

Finnick nods and begins to untie the knot he did. When he fully undid the knot, he begins to start over. "Follow along this time," He says. I follow along as he makes many loops and twists with the rope until we finish. His was perfect and mine was rather sloppy. "You'll get it," He says encouragingly. "Do it on your own this time."

I start to do it over again, fumbling with the rope in my fingers.

"Here." Finnick unexpectedly comes behind me. He reaches around me, placing his hands on top of mine.

My entire body tenses up instantly. I can feel his brawny chest touching my back slightly and the warmth of his muscular arms brushing against my smaller ones. The bare skin on his arms were firm but they weren't rough like most men's arms. His was actually pretty smooth and silky. I feel my heart begin to rush, threatening to break through my chest. I don't know what to think or if I should move or not. Shove him away, maybe? This position isn't exactly appropriate especially that I have a _fiancé_ and we're in the middle of a training room filled with many other people.

I don't do anything though. I just sit there frozen as he demonstrates tying the knot for me. My eyes are glued to the knot he's making but my brain isn't focusing on the task. My thoughts are focusing on his arms…his scent…his cool, tingling breath on my right cheek. That warm breath of his reaches my nose and I think I smell…spearmint. I inhale softly, enjoying the smell of his air. I always preferred spearmint over peppermint. Spearmint has this nice, definite smell and taste, whereas peppermint has this plain minty smell and taste.

Finnick's hands suddenly stop moving. That's when I blink. I realize that he's done tying the knot.

"Get it?" he asks me. "Or do you need me to do it again for you?" There's a hint of playfulness in his tone. He knows I'm uncomfortable in this position.

"Um…" I bite my bottom lip. I hadn't been watching him. I was too busy thinking about how close he was standing behind me. "Yeah. I think I get it," I lie as I shrug him off. "I'll give it a shot." I begin to untie the knot he made.

He comes to my side to observe.

"Hey, Katniss!" I jump in surprise at Peeta's loud, cheerful voice. Finnick and I both glance over to see Peeta making his way towards us. He eyes me and Finnick quizzically when he stops. "What are you doing?" he asks with a raised eyebrow. The question is more directed at Finnick than me. I guess he thought we were standing closer than was acceptable.

"Honestly, Peeta, I was showing your fiancée how to tie a knot," Finnick says smoothly, comfortably, as he bumps my elbow with his playfully. "Turns out she needs more help with the basics than I thought. She is _terrible_."

"Really?" Peeta stares from me to Finnick as if trying to figure something out. I hold my breath and wait for him to throw accusations. Then he shakes his head to clear it. "Anyway," he turns to me. "I have officially decided that I want Chaff and Seeder on our team."

"Why?" I release the breath I'd been holding.

"They showed me how to make a fire with this trick and they also showed me how to catch a meal without a weapon." Peeta says excitedly.

"I could've showed you that," I say. "And I don't want Chaff."

"Because he kissed you?" Peeta laughs. Right after the Opening Ceremony, Haymitch introduced Peeta and me to Chaff and Seeder, and Chaff planted a big, wet kiss right on my mouth.

Finnick makes a kissy face at me. I want to step on his foot to replace my embarrassment with some twisted pleasure but an unseen force stops me from even lifting my leg. So the embarrassment took over and I know my cheeks are as red as they can get.

"I'd rather kiss you instead. Your kisses are a lot less sloppy." I say to Peeta, making my annoyance obvious.

"I'll kiss you," Finnick says, winking at me seductively. "I'm a professional." And he leans in to give me a smooch on the lips.

I place my palm in his face before he gets a chance to. "Enough." I say sternly, but for some reason this makes me even more embarrassed. I know Finnick was only joking around but I couldn't shake the thought that he just tried to kiss me.

Peeta only laughs at us as if it's one big joke. Finnick joins in soon after. I don't, of course. It felt so much better glaring at them in place of laughing.

"I'm going over to help Mags. Bye." Finnick says. And he's gone in a flash.

Peeta reaches for my hand and gives me a light squeeze. "Sorry. Are you mad?" he asks.

_Yes._ I thought. "No." I sigh, intertwining my fingers with his.

"Don't worry. I won't let Chaff or Finnick kiss you." Peeta promises me.

"Okay." I say. My attention is suddenly stolen by the sound of shouting. Me and Peeta turn our heads to see two tributes fighting each other on a platform. They are both wearing protective gear as they fight. One of them kicks the other to the ground vigorously.

"Come on! Is that it?" cries the one standing. I recognize Johanna's aggressive voice anywhere.

I bite the inside of my cheek as me and Peeta make our way closer to the small crowd of spectators watching the fight.

"Johanna wins." Says the male ─ that I assume is the referee ─ standing in between Johanna and her opponent.

Johanna's opponent stands to her feet and rips off her helmet angrily. I recognize her as Cashmere, Gloss's sister. "I will not tolerate this. This isn't _acceptable_," she growls. "I want a rematch!"

"You lost by four points." The ref tries to explain.

Gloss hurriedly makes his way over to his sister before she can throw insults. He rests a hand on her shoulder, squeezing her seriously. "Don't worry about it. You'll get her later." He says as he sends a look over at Johanna.

I know what he means. He'll go after me first in the games and then Johanna. Maybe fighting each other now isn't such a good idea. Enemies are easily made this way.

Later, Peeta and I are having dinner with Effie and Haymitch. We tell Haymitch who we want on our team which are Finnick, Mags, Seeder, and Chaff ─ to my disliking ─ and we no longer are considering Johanna.

"Sounds like you've got yourselves quite an alliance, sweetheart." Haymitch says as he takes a long swig from his bottle of drink.

**To be continued…**

_Thanks for the reviews. Next chapter will be up this Friday. Keep reading because I assure you that it's going to get a lot better. Reviews are greatly appreciated! If you want more FinnickxKatniss, you can check out my oneshot story __**Salt Water**__._

_The chapter after the next one will be the start of the games. Brace yourselves._


	4. Downhearted

**Chapter 4**

**Downhearted**

**Last Update: 1/17/2014**

A low sigh escapes my lips, leaving my body to float off and mix in with the air around me. My arms are dangling at my sides, limp and flabby, and shoes are scuffling against the carpeted floor at an unsteady pace. Fatigue weighs down on every inch of my body, making it difficult to get around. The thought of collapsing onto a soft bed felt like a good idea right about now. I knew had to keep going through with walking. I didn't want anyone to find me unconscious in the middle of the hallway and assume I might be dead. They wouldn't believe the cause of my death was fatigue and drowsiness.

My entire body aches all over from those exercises I took part in earlier today. For once Chaff managed to get me and Peeta to exercise on the last day of training. Peeta and I refused but Chaff was able to convince us so we figured, why not? I don't know what he expected from us, to get huge muscles like him in an hour? It's not about strength and power. It's about the skill, reflexes, and agility; at least that's what I thought. So unfortunately Chaff needs strength along with the skill. Me, I'll stick with the skill. Peeta will stick with me protecting him, because he's hardly capable of using a knife or even a bow, even after the training I gave him today.

The door is only a few feet away from me. With all the strength I have left, I was able to reach it before I could considering sleeping on the dirty floor. I reach for the door knob, turn it, and push the door open. The door was always unlocked during the day in case of emergencies. No one would bother breaking in around here so we didn't have to worry about robbers. When I enter, I let out a groan when I see a drunken Haymitch on the sofa. He was slumped over the sofa, his legs propped on top of the short stubby table in front of him with a bottle of booze in his hand that was tilt in an unpleasant position. Of course he was sleeping with his drink spilling over.

When the others get here, they wouldn't be happy with the sight, let alone the smell of alcohol in the air. I wrinkle my nose in disgust and consider dumping water on my drunk mentor. He never woke up without getting a little drenched.

Peeta enters the living room from the hallway. He doesn't look at me when he says, "I'll wake him," when nears Haymitch, he sighs in disgust. "And a bath too."

I nod, glad that I won't have to do it. "When did they say they'll get here?" I ask Peeta. I want to be sure if it's a good idea if I should take a nap or not. It's already seven in the evening according to the clock on the wall, above the television.

Effie should be bringing me those tapes soon. Earlier I had asked her to do me a favor on getting me some tapes from previous Hunger Games so I can develop a strategy with my alliance. She agreed to get them for me as soon as she possible could and she was glad to do it for me. Peeta was nice enough to invite Seeder, Finnick, Chaff, and Mags to watch with us earlier as well. The four should be coming this evening.

"Chaff says he's not coming. He says he wants to prepare for the private sessions tomorrow," Peeta replies. "Mags isn't coming either. Finnick didn't want her to watch…that sort of thing. But he and Seeder should be here in another hour or two." He then gives Haymitch a shake in hopes of waking him. Not surprisingly the man didn't even stifle a moan of acknowledgement.

"That won't work." I say. I make my way over to the kitchen sink. An empty pitcher lay there in the sink along with a few other dishes. Looks like the Avox didn't come in to clean them yet. I grab the pitcher, fill it up with water, and return to Peeta with it. Then I dump the water on top of Haymitch's head.

In a fast motion, Haymitch thrashes his arms around wildly. I hide the pitcher behind my back as we watch him until he regains himself and opens his eyes. "What are you two up to?" he demands, glowering at us. "What happened? Why am I so wet?"

I tap the booze bottle in his hand. "Drink." I say.

"Oh," Haymitch says in realization but he doesn't seem very happy about it. He's about to take a swig but I snatch the bottle from him. "Hey!"

"No more drink for tonight, Haymitch," Peeta says as he grabs him by the arms. "Come on. You need a bath." He hauls Haymitch off the couch. The two disappear down the hallway with Haymitch complaining about how I stole his drink.

I study the booze bottle in my hand for a bit. The label read, '_**WHISKEY**_.' I sniff the rim, inhaling its strong alcoholic scent, and grimace. How could Haymitch drink this stuff? Shaking my head, I take the bottle to the trash and drop in there with a low _thud_. As tired as I was, I was able to clean up the mess on the couch in less than ten minutes. The clock on the wall read thirty minutes before eight. I decided to take a nap, thinking I will hear the knocks on the door when Finnick and Seeder show up.

I flop onto the other sofa and quickly drift off to sleep.

My mind returns to awareness at the sound of loud knocks on the door. They're here already? I just lied down, didn't I? I glance at the clock on the wall which read ten minutes till eight-forty. I've been sleep for a whole hour. The fatigue that I felt before taking a nap wasn't as strong as earlier. I sit up to stretch out my arms and yawn. The knock is at the door again. I rub my eyes in hopes of getting rid of the sleep in them as I make my way over to the door.

Pulling the door open, I am welcomed by a familiar salty scent. Finnick Odair stands there with his hair perfectly combed out and dressed in casual clothing that only he can make look like the most flawless clothes in Panem. I must've been staring too long at his beauty because when my eyes travels to his face, he's smiling at me, one of those handsome smiles of his that always makes me uncomfortable. I feel my cheeks burn with the piercing flames in terms of my nickname 'Girl on Fire' and I damn myself for acting like a common Capitol love-struck. Before I could say anything Seeder steps out from behind him. I didn't notice she was back there, Finnick's body was in the way.

Seeder holds up a brown paper back at me and that's when I smell the scent of fresh bread. "I hope you don't mind." She says generously. She hands me the bag in which I take with gratitude. I wasn't hungry but my belly thought otherwise.

Finnick steps around me to go into the living room. I shut the door once Seeder steps in and return to the living room where Finnick just sits onto the sofa. I set the bag of bread onto the small table in front of the sofa as Seeder sits down next to the pretty boy.

"I'll get Peeta." I say. And without waiting for a response I disappear into the dimly lit hallway. Peeta should've been long done helping Haymitch take a bath and putting him to bed. So I checked in his room first to find that he wasn't there. That was odd. Maybe he was still in Haymitch's room. I retreat a few steps into the hallway until I reach Haymitch's door. The door was cracked open a bit. Before I could push it open, I hear the sound of hushed voices. Peeta and Haymitch.

I lean my head closer to the door silently, my ears focusing on deciphering the words they were saying.

"…just promise me that, okay?" says Peeta's voice.

Haymitch lets out a low, exaggerated sigh. "Listen─"

"No," Peeta says firmly. "Look, I know you made promises with Katniss. You think I don't know?"

What are they talking about? My curiosity pushes me closer to the door as my ears strain to listen.

"Of course you do," Haymitch says. I imagine him rolling his eyes at Peeta. "And I get that you think I should favor your needs over hers, but it's difficult just to make choices like that."

"Her life is more important to me than my own," Peeta says hastily. "You don't understand, Haymitch…" his voice grows quieter and I strain to hear. "She's everything to me. Without her, I'm nothing_. I have_ no one."

Haymitch sighs again and they both grow quiet. My mind loses its confusion as it gradually moves to understanding what their talking about. Peeta's asking Haymitch to keep me alive in the games. I swallow hard. _No._ I thought. _Say no, Haymitch!_ I can't let Peeta die in the games. I just can't let that happen.

"I'll think about it," Haymitch murmurs finally. "Now let me sleep."

"Thank you." Peeta says.

That's my cue to leave. I retreat a few steps into the hallway, wait a couple of heartbeats, then I walk down the hallway again as if I just started going this way. Peeta steps out of the room without looking at me and silently shuts the door behind him.

"Everything okay?" I ask him casually.

Peeta nods. "He's gone to bed now." I know he won't mention his talk with Haymitch but I find myself waiting for him to tell me something. But he doesn't. He simply comes to my side, takes my hand, and walks into the living room with me.

When we enter the living room we see that Finnick is going through the box of VHS tapes while Seeder sits watching him. She turns to me and Peeta and smiles at our joined hands. "All ready?" she asks us.

We nod and sit down next to each other on the sofa, me in between Seeder and Peeta.

"Which ones are we looking for?" Finnick asks as he rummages through the box. He picks up a tape, reads the title, then he tosses it back into the box with a sigh.

I get up to approach him. I sit on my knees next to him, our shoulders almost touching. "We're looking for the 63rd Hunger Games tape." Gloss from District 1 won those games and I thought it'd be a good idea to watch the Careers' tapes first so we can develop a strategy against them.

I reach my hands into the box and begin looking through the tapes. Finnick helps, both our hands moving through the box. When his hand touches mine, I jerk back quickly. I touched his hand before but this was different; I'm not helping him hold a bow properly or allowing him to help me tie a knot. We're in the comfort of a living room and making any physical contact outside of training is…well out of the ordinary. I still feel the smoothness of his skin brushing against the back of my hand and a tingling sensation runs down my spine, all the way down to my legs.

Finnick didn't seem to notice my sudden movement because he continues to look through the box. He pulls out a tape that read '**64****th**** Annual Hunger Games**' and sets it aside for later. That was Cashmere's tape. We would be watching that one next.

I bite the inside of my cheek before reaching into the box again. Fortunately for me, the first tape I grab happens to be the tape we were looking for. "Here we are." I say as I show it to Finnick.

"Great," he says. Instead of getting up to go sit on the sofa, he moves his head closer to mine to whisper, "You're hand is really soft…" He probably would've said more but Peeta and Seeder are sitting just a few feet behind us. So he gets up and sits on the sofa, next to Seeder.

I shakily insert the tape into the VCR, trying to control my rapid heartbeat. I hated that Finnick always made me uncomfortable. What did he want from me? I stand as I snatch up the remote in my hand before marching over and flopping down next to Peeta. He gives me a quizzical look but I ignore him as I turn up the volume.

The anthem begins to play, loud and clear through the speakers, as the screen opens up to President Snow standing behind a podium on a tall stage. He says that he's proud to announce the 63rd Annual Hunger Games and yadda-yadda, bleh-bleh. I fast-forward a few minutes through the Opening Ceremony and stop when I reach the interviews. A younger Gloss is being interviewed by a purple haired Caesar Flickerman. I bet Gloss was around my age, sixteen or seventeen, because his facial features looked a lot younger and his muscles are not as big as they are now. He was very over confident with himself as he answered the questions and he kept babbling on and on about his skill and how he trained for years for this day. When the interviews end, I forward the tape until it reaches the games. The climate was a vast dessert. The tributes were lined up on platforms surrounding the Cornucopia, similar to my previous games, as the countdown goes. I see Gloss's muscle tense with anticipation, his eyes glued to the weapons scattered about near the Cornucopia.

Eight tributes died in the bloodbath, not surprisingly none of them were the Careers. Gloss joins a group that consisted of his red-haired, female counterpart; District 2 tributes; and a male tribute from District 3. Their first stop was searching for water. Took them almost three hours to find some and unfortunately the District 2 male died of dehydration leaving her counterpart devastated. Soon after, they sought out some weaker tributes. They came across a smaller group of that was of District 6 and 7. Gloss easily took out two of the tributes with his tremendous throwing knives while the rest of his group took out the rest.

I keep note of the throwing knives.

Throughout the games, Gloss mainly focused on eliminating tributes with his throwing knives and cutting throats with his daggers. Unfortunately a few of his group members died until it was just down to him and the District 2 female left of the Careers. The games were reaching its climax because there were only three tributes left; the Careers and a District 11 male. Gloss and his partner sought out their last victim. I notice how tense the two tributes were. They knew that the end was near and eventually they would have to kill each other. Ultimately his partner died of King Cobras ─ Capitol mutts ─ and his burden was lifted on not having to kill her himself. In the end he found and killed the other remaining tribute thus exalting himself as the winner of the 63rd Annual Hunger Games.

The tape cuts off a few minutes later.

No one speaks, leaving the room in an uncomfortable silence. I have to admit that it was pretty hard to watch. There was so many deaths…so much blood and gore.

Finnick's the one who breaks the silence. "…Can we make any observations on that?"

"Um…" Seeder says awkwardly. "Gloss uses throwing knives a lot."

"And his dagger," Peeta adds. "He loves his dagger."

"We'll need to find a way to counter those." Says Finnick, nodding.

I think for a moment. It's unavoidable to block a throwing knife but if we have quick reflexes we should be able to dodge them. We'd have to keep watching our backs though a lot during the games because Gloss can sneakily throw blades into our spines. Peeta's not fast enough and I'm not sure about Seeder. I know that Finnick, Chaff, and I are quick. The three of us will have to stay close to Peeta, Mags, and Seeder in order to protect them.

I tell everyone else about this.

"So basically watch our backs then." Peeta says firmly.

"I'm sorry, Peeta, I didn't mean to offend you." I say, noticing his expression. I had mentioned about him not being fast enough.

Peeta shakes his head at me. "You didn't. I know I'm incapable." He says it as if it's a fact.

"That's not true, Peeta," Seeder says. "Even Finnick knows so, right Finnick?"

"Yeah."

"It's okay. You guys don't have to pretend," Peeta says with a light shrug. "I know I'm not as strong or as skillful as either of you. I wasn't born for fighting. I was born for baking and painting." He sounds so sure of himself as if he's already accepted his fate.

_This isn't good._ I thought. I remember the conversation he had with Haymitch. They were talking about keeping me alive in the games. _No, no!_ Peeta has to live, not me. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he didn't make it out of the games alive. I just couldn't bare it.

I don't say anything to Peeta's presumptions as Finnick gets up to change the tape.

At around ten-thirty, we just finished Enobaria's tape, and decided we got enough information we needed. We had only planned on watching the Careers' tapes anyway because they were considered the strongest tributes. Cashmere won her games by having the privilege of killing her own District partner, but she wasn't happy about it in the least. She even cried after her partner was dead and kept saying she was sorry. Her special tactics were throwing knives like her brother, Gloss. Brutus, from District 2, won his games by taking out the last three tributes with only a spear. Enobaria, of the same District, killed the last tribute in her games by tearing out their throat with her unusual sharp teeth.

Observations of them…well we basically decided to keep a close eye on them and watch our backs very closely. I suggested that we take one of them out first but Finnick disagreed. He said that if we took one of them out right away they'll be hunting us down throughout the entire games. So we decided on staying low and avoiding the Careers as much as possible.

I stifle a yawn and stretch out my arms. It was about time we get some sleep. I know the others were thinking that too because they stifle their own yawns.

Finnick stands up first. "Well…thanks for this little get together." He says to me and Peeta.

"Yeah. Now we really know how we're going to go at it in the games." Says Seeder, standing up as well.

I smile at them and nod. This was an interesting night. I enjoyed their company for now, but this alliance will eventually come to an end in the games just like in all the tapes we watched. The thought scared me…a lot.

It's inevitable, whether I like it or not.

**To be continued…**

_Only got two reviews for the last chapter. Where'd everybody go? Can you guys leave a review this time around? I appreciate it._


	5. Ensure

**Chapter 5**

**Ensure**

**Last Update: 1/20/2014**

Private sessions. I wrap my hand around Peeta's as we sit side by side each other. I'm crying but there are no tears and I let the voices of the other tributes soothe my ears. They're talking in hushed tones with one another ─ mostly with their own districts ─ but their voices together makes everyone sound loud. I wonder what's going through their minds; do they even care? Or are they just trying to forget its happening and enjoy the time they have together while they can? I see Finnick sitting on a bench across from me and Peeta with Mags. He's whispering words into her ear, perhaps to encourage her maybe. I don't 'now.

I look away.

Today all the tributes will be showing the Gamemakers a special skill through a private session. I let my mind wander to what I should show the Gamemakers. I could show them my archery skills like I did last year but I reminded myself that I don't need to be perfect. Some part of me decided long ago that I'll do something that they'll wish to forget. And not a pleasant skill. Anything horrible to remind them to ensure my death in the games. Peeta's going to win. He's _meant_ to win. I owe it to him. I don't want to go back home after the games knowing he's dead, knowing that he won't be there for me like he always I. I just couldn't bare it.

Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I'm selfish because I know that if Peeta lives he has no one to go back to, just like he said to Haymitch last night. His mother never cared about him like a mother should and his father…I have not a clue where he is. Maybe I'm selfish because I do have someone to go back to. Gale, Prim, and as much as I hate to admit it, my mother. Peeta only has me.

I imagine coming home after the games without Peeta and a heavy weight falls on my shoulders. No. I couldn't let that happen.

The District 4 male is called. Finnick gets up gracefully and makes his way towards the door. I watch him until he's disappeared and turn to Mags who sits alone now. I didn't want to kill any of these people. They all weren't exactly my friends but we got to know each other a lot. I spoke to almost every tribute, heard a bit of their back stories, and grew sort of fond of them, even the ones I disliked. I couldn't imagine killing old Mags at the end our alliance. What if it was down to Peeta, Gloss, and I? Then my dream pops into my mind. Gloss is shoving the sharp blade into Peeta's throat causing him to gargle on his own blood and I'm standing there watching the whole thing unable to save him.

Peeta's voice unexpectedly snaps me out of my thoughts. "What are you going to show the Gamemakers?" When I turn my head to face him, I guess he sees my distorted expression because his eyes grow worried. "What is it?"

I inhale through my nose. Telling him about my sick nightmare might make me feel better. "I've been having nightmares lately…" I say in a low tone.

Peeta squeezes my hand in his. "I'm sorry. I have them too. They're about the games, right?"

I nod my head. "Yes. I can't stop thinking about them," I glance down at my lap and blink my eyes quickly. Didn't realize I was tearing up. "I don't want any of these people dead, Peeta. We just got to know one another and I never wanted to start this alliance in the first place."

"I know. But it's for the best. Haymitch knows so." Peeta says comfortingly.

Haymitch knows best. Who knew that a man who's always drunk could be so smart?

Peeta releases my hand to scratch his head. "Hey, I'm thinking about creating a painting for the Gamemakers. Any ideas?" He's trying to get my mind off of death for now.

I force myself to push away the negative thoughts. "Well…you can paint a cake. A wedding cake." I reply. Then my heart aches knowing that the wedding will never happen either. Not that I wanted it to happen, it's just a reminder that I won't be coming back alive.

"No, that's too painful," Peeta says, reading my mind. "I might paint the stars maybe or the sunset when it sets over the horizon at the beach… Too bad I can't do that."

"Why not?" I'm curious.

"Because I've never been to the beach. It's hard to get a clear picture in my mind."

I wish I could say I've been to the beach but I haven't. My mind remembers the works I've read in school. The writers' attempts at describing the beach are very vivid and in depth but I could never place the image on my mental screen. _The ocean water extends on endless, forever moving towards the sun_; I recite a work by Paulina Ziegler. _Water laps across the ever so soft sand like when a door closes at a slow pace before sliding away and returning back. The sea has no mind of its own. No thought process. It only moves at a steady rhythm, fulfilling its natural purpose that was decided long before its existence came to be._

The beach must be beautiful.

I bite the inside of my cheek thoughtfully. "Maybe you can just paint the sunset at the Capitol city," I suggest. "Unless you want something more realistic that pertains to nature, then I can't help you there." I say _realistic_ because I find the Capitol _un_realistic.

Peeta shrugs his shoulders, looking down at his hands in thought. "What about the woods where you say you use to hunt?"

"Oh, yes." I say. How could I forget about the woods that Gale and I hunt at? We never stayed out as early till the sunset as much but when we did, it was beautiful. We would sit in a clearing where there aren't many trees so we could watch the sun slowly fall behind the distant horizon in enriched, bright colors of a mixture of reds, oranges, and yellows. A wonderful sight to see. It's difficult for me to explain it to Peeta though. How does one explain a sunset?

Peeta stares at me as I fumble with my words. "Oh, oh…I think I get it," he says sincerely, cutting me off shortly. "Thank you, Katniss." He gives me a smile.

Finally, after a while, Peeta is called and I'm left alone like Mags was when Finnick left her but except I'm utterly alone. The once voice filled room is now as silent as ever. I lean my back against the table behind me and stare up at the ceiling. Rectangular lights hang up there in a pattern. I don't know how long I stared up at the ceiling, thinking to myself. At least forty minutes goes by before my name is called. Perhaps Peeta needed time to paint something, that's why he took so long.

I enter a room and when I see the Gamemakers, watching me from behind their invisible barrier on the balcony, and I know exactly what I want to do.

**(o)(o)(o)**

"You did what again?" Haymitch questions me for the thousandth time.

I'm back at the room with Peeta, Haymitch, and Effie. Peeta is sitting next to me on a couch as we wait for our scores to come on the television.

I tell Haymitch again what I showed the Gamemakers. On a board I wrote with a paintbrush:

_**Gamemakers say: "WE'EH WUV DAT ES Y FUN'OH TO DEE DO'AH WHAT WEEE DO'AH TOO-U-AHHH" **_

I was mocking them. All I said was, "We love that it's fun to do what we do to you all," in a funny way. It was more like I was comparing them as retarded barbarians than a foreign person that doesn't speak English well.

Haymitch falls to his side, clutching his stomach in laughter. "_What weee do'ah_! What the hell does that even mean?!" tears are in his eyes now from laughing so hard.

Effie and Cinna are sitting on a couch across from me and Peeta. They don't seem to find my skill all that amusing. Peeta's smiling beside me but he's not laughing. I am though, almost as hard as Haymitch.

"I can't breathe, _I can't breathe_…!" Haymitch almost sounds serious.

"Hush now, both of you!" Effie snaps urgently. "It's on."

Haymitch manages to pull himself together as he gets up. He grabs his bottle of alcoholic beverage from the table and flops down on the couch next to me, still chuckling a bit.

The screen changes from a commercial to Caesar sitting behind a desk. He tells the audience that the scores are up and he'll get straight to announcing them. They first showed District 1. Gloss and Cashmere both got tens. District 2 and 3 slipped my mind. Then from District 4, Finnick got an eleven and leaving Mags with a sad five. I wasn't paying any attention to the next few districts until it reached District 11. Chaff got a nine and Seeder got a seven. Finally District 12 comes around. Peeta got a ten and I got a seven like Seeder.

I was surprised. I thought I would at least get a zero, if that's even possible.

Effie sniffles from beside Cinna. "Excuse me." She says as she gets up and walks away. I know she'd be upset with me but not this upset.

"Well, I wouldn't have expected anything less from you, sweetheart." Haymitch says to me as he takes a nonchalant swig of his drink.

I look to Peeta next to me – he's sympathetic – and then at Cinna whose expression is unreadable.

Doesn't matter what they think. All that matters is that Peeta is going to survive the games and I will do everything in my power to make sure that happens. Just after I get some food into my belly. The sooner I eat, the sooner I'll be ready, and the sooner my prep team will show up to prepare me for the interviews with Caesar.

**To be continued…**

_This one was shorter than all the rest and I apologize for the absence of Finnick and Katniss moments. I promise you things will pick up between them, I promise you. Stay tuned. _


	6. Fraudulence

**Chapter 6**

**Fraudulence**

**Last Update: 1/24/2014**

"Stop flinching!" snaps Octavia at me.

I grit my teeth with my mouth closed to keep from snapping back at her. She pokes me again with a needle but I can't stop myself from flinching. She lets out an exasperated sigh but continues working. Venia works carefully with her as Flavius fixes my hair.

"Done!" says Octavia after a few more minutes of poking.

The three of them pull me in front of a tall mirror that hangs in front of the wall.

I sigh. I hate that I have to wear this large wedding dress. The thing is very heavy and wide at the bottom. I would have to hold up the bottom when I walk in order not to trip on it. Despite the dress, my hair looks nice. It's tied in a tight bun behind my head but it's unusually tight.

Peeta walks into the room wearing a nice gray suit. "Whoa," He says when he sees me. "Everyone's going to be looking at you."

"That's a good thing?" I ask.

"Doesn't have to be." He says as he takes my arm and leads me out of the cramped room.

When Effie sees me, she breaks into a fit of tears and pulls me into a big hug. "It's wonderful, Katniss." she cries into my shoulder. Then she pulls away from me to let my prep team get their hugs. I am smothered but I hardly mind.

I'm going to miss all of them. I know I won't be coming back and they know it too.

After the affections are over, Peeta guides me over to the living room couch where we will watch the other interviews go by on the TV until it's our turn. Haymitch is already in there, sitting on the couch, holding a bottle of whiskey. I sit down in between him and Peeta. I smooth down my dress as the interviews starts. Caesar Flickerman appears on the screen, on a stage, announcing that the interviews will begin. A swarm of audience roars in excitement as District 1, Cashmere and Gloss, walk onto the stage. They wave at the crowd with glorious grins on their faces. Cashmere is beautiful with her long blonde waves draped over one shoulder. She's in a silky, golden dress and she is embellished with silver necklaces and diamond rings. I hate to admit it, but Gloss looks equally beautiful. His hair is combed out nicely and it's shiny. He wears a gold dress shirt, sleek black pants, and a few bronze and silver necklaces around his neck.

Caesar is happy to greet them as he shakes their hands and welcomes them. The siblings sit side by each other on a sofa opposite Caesar.

"It's wonderful to see you. You both look wonderful!" exclaims Caesar. The crowd screams in agreement. When the crowd calms down Caesar begins with the questions. "Gloss, we understand how terrible this must be for everyone and for the both of you," he says. "But I want to hear it from you. So tell us, Gloss, how do you feel about going back into the arena, precisely?"

A serious yet solemn look is plastered on Gloss's features. "I feel my world has come crumbling down," he says it strongly. Cashmere nods in agreement, her expression less happy. Gloss's voice then grows slightly serious. "But if this is how it's going to go then I'm going all out. No mercy."

Caesar nods. "How about you, Cashmere." He points the microphone to her.

"Well…" Cashmere begins, dabbing her eyes with a napkin. "I'm sorry, I'm tearing up. Let me calm down."

"Take your time."

She waves her manicured hands on her face to cool down. Then she begins to speak. "When I heard the news, I cried and cried, you can believe. My brother was there for me like he always is and I am grateful for that," she swallows. "It's…it's just so shocking, horrible that we're going back in so suddenly and I just don't…" her voice cracks as she blinks rapidly to control her tears.

The audience goes "awwww" in sadness.

I tilt my head slightly at the screen. Was everyone really believing this? Cashmere was quite vigorous in training the other day, now she's this tearful glow?

"But, I am going to be strong for everyone. For all my fans," Cashmere continues. "For my brother and for myself."

And the crowd cheers.

Around the last minute of the interview, Caesar asks the final question to the two siblings. "Final question; what do you think is in store for you in the games this time? What will you do differently?"

A smile creeps onto Gloss's face. "Well, Caesar, you know me. I go all out," he says seriously. "Take out my enemies first and the rest will be a breeze."

I know what he means. So far, me and Johanna are his enemies. No doubt he'll come after us first. I already know that District 1 will pair with District 2 to become the Careers; didn't even have to think about that. I imagine my group going up against theirs. Finnick, Chaff, and I are the only strongest in our group but with Seeder, Peeta, and Mags we outnumber them four to six. They'd be smart not to attack us right away.

Next up is District 2. Enobaria goes up first. Caesar asks her a few simple questions, similar to the questions he asked Gloss and Cashmere. Right around the end of the interview Caesar asks about her strategies.

"We all remember your last games, Enobaria," he says. "Tell us what you plan to do in these games?"

Enobaria glowers at the crowd, eyes narrowed to slits. "I plan on doing what I need to do. Rip out their throats." And she flashes her fangs to the crowd, giving off a hiss for affect.

The crowd goes crazy, screaming out her name.

After Enobaria, Brutus just talks about how unrealistic it is to be put back into the games and nothing else important. Then District 3 goes up. They are tributes I hardly know but they too complain about the games. Next up is District 4's, Finnick Odair.

When he steps out onto that stage the crowd literally goes mad. Capitol girls scream his name and even a few of them faint at the sight of him. I know Finnick looks astonishing in his sleeved, glossy white shirt; long, jet black leather pants; dark brown boots; and layered in wonderful jewels and necklaces. Even his bronze hair is sticking out in all directions, creating an incredible fashion.

Yes, I thought he looked amazing, but really? There was no reason to faint. I couldn't even allow myself to falling unconscious just because I witnessed some Capitol charmer.

Finnick was literally glowing under the stage lights, reflecting off his radiant being, signifying his everlasting beauty. He shakes Caesar's hand and takes a seat across from the man. Not even then the crowd stopped screaming.

I have to roll my eyes at the ridiculousness of the people.

Finally Caesar manages to calm them down a bit with a wave of his hand. He turns to Finnick, grinning. "Now, Finnick, tell us what's different for you this time? It's been ten years since you were last in the games. How do you think this one will be different?" he asks, aiming the microphone at him.

"For one thing, I'm older and much more tactfull," Finnick begins in a calm, flawless voice. "I shouldn't have much trouble in the games this year as long as my sponsors are kind to me." He winks to the crowd causing them to go even crazier than before.

"Cocky pretty boy." I murmur.

Haymitch chuckles.

"Finnick, I can tell you that your fans are most upset over you. You are quite the charm and have always been a favorite," Caesar says. "Anything you want to say to your adoring fans?"

Finnick turns his attention to the audience, resting his flawless gaze upon them. "I send my love to you all and to everyone back at home," his voice comes out in a purr, which reminds of Prim's cat, Buttercup. Except I never heard Buttercup purr, but my imagination can form what the chubby animal would sound like. "Forever you will be in my heart no matter what the outcome may be…" he says elegantly.

I roll my eyes at the screen, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. I can see how Finnick's charm has so much effect on everyone, especially the woman. He's beautiful, radiant, and unordinary desirable. I can't but wonder how envious the females will be when they find out he's formed an alliance with the Girl on Fire. They can call me lucky if they may, but I won't feel lucky. The thought makes me want to laugh in their faces just for the fun of it. Not because I actually _adore_ Finnick Odair. My feelings for him are the absolute opposite.

"Marvelous!" exclaims Caesar. The crowd cannot contain themselves. They keep screaming Finnick's name and throwing roses onto the stage towards him. Finnick only grins at them. Caesar manages to get them to quiet down a bit around two minutes on the clock. "There are rumors that you plan to ally with the wonderful Girl on Fire, Katniss Everdeen…" he says, eyes round, dragging out my name like it's the most important name in the world. He raises his eyebrows at the crowd as they go 'oooooh.'

I shift uncomfortably at the mention of my name, gripping the fabric on my dress. This can't be good.

Caesar returns to Finnick. "Are these rumors true?" he aims the microphone at him.

"Ah, well…" the handsome tribute lets his hands rest behind his head casually, his smile turning into a smirk. His sea green eyes glint brightly against the stage lights. "The rumors are true, I'm thrilled to say."

"And how exactly do you feel about that?" Caesar presses, leaning closer, inching to hear what the charmer has to say. "Having her on your side? She's skillful, extraordinary with a bow and─"

"─You're right," says Finnick, sitting up straighter. He leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "Katniss Everdeen is different from the others…very mysterious and unpredictable."

I frown at the TV. _If anyone's unpredictable it's you._

"There's a lot more to her that I have to figure out," Finnick goes on, slowly, smoothly. "I'm willing to…" he pauses to search for the right word. Then his smirk returns, "…experiment this alliance with her and put the pieces of her puzzle together…"

"You seem to speak very fond of her," says Caesar in interest. "Are you sure you're not trying to tell us that you may be…" he glances at the crowd and then back at Finnick, lowering his voice a bit, but still loud enough for everyone to hear. I find myself leaning forward in my seat. "…that you may be attracted to her?"

Finnick chuckles. "Well, Caesar, I'd rather keep that information confidential," He winks at the camera, at _me_. I'm almost relieved for a second but he's not finished talking. "But…" he says, halting for the suspense, his smirk turning into this seductive smile. "…Who _isn't_ attracted to her?" he waggles his eyebrows at the audience as they scream uncontrollably.

_Dammit, Odair!_ I stand to my feet. My hands are balling into fists and my anger is showing itself on my embellished features. Now everyone thinks Finnick has a soft spot for me. I hope he knows he made himself look weak in front of everyone. I'm going to make him pay for this.

"Sounds like you have a new boyfriend, sweetheart," Haymitch says, chuckling. Then he adds to Peeta. "Looks like you've got some competition."

I grit my teeth. Maybe I should punch Haymitch right now before my anger subsides. I whip around to face the man sitting on the couch. "This _isn't_ good." My voice is surprisingly low, a deathly whisper.

He waves a hand at me dismissively. "I wouldn't get so worked up over it, sweetheart," he says. "No one believes a word he says. He's just being Finnick Odair." And he takes a swig of his whiskey.

"But how do we know he didn't fool everyone else?" Peeta pipes up. His expression is unreadable, I can't tell how he feels about Finnick's whole episode. Which might mean he's upset. "What if they think he has feelings for Katniss now? And your saying this isn't bad for us?"

Haymitch rolls his eyes. "_Relax_," he says in exasperation. "No matter what he says, you two will always be the star-crossed lovers. No one can deny your love for each other," He says that as if we're the most dumbest human beings on the face of the earth. "You've got _nothing_ to worry about. Trust me."

Trust me, he says. I angrily flop down on the couch next to Peeta again and glue my eyes to the TV.

The rest of the Districts swing by pretty quickly. Seeder and Chaff basically talk about the same thing as everyone else. Seeder speaks about how she'll miss her family back at home and Chaff speaks about doing his very best in the games.

When it's my turn to be interviewed, I enter the back stage and the other tributes indeed have their eyes on me like Peeta said. They stare at me as if I've come from another planet with wide eyes and mouths agape. Then someone lets out a whistle but I don't know who.

I see Finnick and I glare at him. He doesn't acknowledge me.

"What on _earth_ are you wearing?" Johanna asks me. Her eyes are narrowing at the large wedding dress attached to my body.

"It's a wedding dress." I say calmly, smoothing it down a bit.

"Is that even necessary to wear?" she asks. "It's not like you're getting married anymore." She rolls her eyes.

"Be nice, will you?" Blight says from beside her, nudging her with his elbow.

I shoot him a grateful look.

"Shut up, will you?" Johanna retorts, nudging him with her elbow roughly.

"It is kind of…too much, don't you think?" Cashmere pipes up, eyeing my dress disapprovingly.

"_Way_ too much." Johanna adds.

I gaze at her calmly. "Well, Johanna, you should be thrilled. It came straight from Snow's wardrobe." I say. Her mouth drops and I turn away from her shocked expression to see Effie making her way towards me. She stops in front of me to adjust the dress on my shoulders.

"You're up, Katniss," She says quickly, looking over my hair to make sure everything's in place. "Perfect. Now, go, go!" she gives me a light push towards the stage.

My interview goes by rather pleasant than all the rest. I talk to Caesar about how much I wished the wedding was still on and things didn't have to end so abruptly. That was basically it and then Peeta goes up. He tells everyone that I am pregnant with his child, which was a complete lie to get people to feel bad for us. Unfortunately the games weren't called off by the end of the interviews.

We bid our goodbyes to Haymitch and Effie, which was very emotionally with Effie. She keeps telling herself she wouldn't cry but would break down anyway. I tell her that she is the best escort ever and I would never have wanted anyone else. With that, Peeta and I are sent off to the hovercraft. A Peacekeeper inserts a tracker into our arms while we aboard. I endure every passing moment until we land.

I don't know how but it was like this day came by so quickly.

The games are about to start now.

I'm standing in a room with Cinna with my back facing a tube that will take me up to the arena. My heart is racing wildly as Cinna tucks my mockingjay pendant securely on my right sleeve of my jumpsuit. I'm so scared that this is happening again. This brings back horrible memories from the last games. I remember when I volunteered for Prim and how afraid I was. My legs shook, my heart wanted to burst from my chest, and tears threatened to pour down my cheeks. I knew I had to be strong then but that was easier said than done. I know I have to be strong now too. For Prim and for everyone else back at District 12.

Cinna wishes me well as I step into the tube that will soon take me to my death. Gulping quietly, I force myself to blink away my tears. With all the courage I have left I wave at Cinna and mouth a 'thank you.' He just nods my way as the tube begins to take me up.

This is it. _This is it_.

Cool wind hits my face as I make it to the surface. Sunlight hits my eyes from all directions and I have to blink a couple of times to get use to the bright light. The scent of salty water finds its way into my nose and I realize I'm standing on a platform over water. I look around for one person. I see other tributes on platforms in the middle of the water as well but I don't see Peeta. Turning ahead of me, I see the Cornucopia sparkling brightly in the sunlight and stacked up in a large heap, are the weapons. I know I have to get there first.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let the 75th Hunger Games begin!" booms Claudius Templesmith's voice.

Immediately the countdown starts. I zoom in on the Cornucopia, at the weapons. The bow and arrows are right there and I know that's where I'm heading. As soon the countdown hits one, I dive into the water head first. I swim as fast I as can towards the Cornucopia. It's not two feet away from me when strong hands push me underwater from behind. Somehow I manage to pull my head out for air. I catch a glimpse at my attacker and I see that it's Gloss. My eyes widen in horror as he wraps his manly hands around my neck and shoves my head underwater. I thrash about, craving air. He's choking and drowning me at the same time. I can't escape. He's too strong.

Looks like he didn't keep his promise after all.

**To be continued… **

_Reviews of all kinds are appreciated!_


	7. Gore

**Chapter 7**

**Gore**

**Last Update: 1/27/2014**

I'm thrashing wildly in the water. My hands keep going back and forth to the strong hands on my neck and to the person they belonged too. I try to scratch Gloss with my nails who's holding me down but my movements are so feeble and weak I'm unable to inflict damage upon him. My eyes are burning in the water and the salty water keeps getting into my mouth. My head is only inches from the surface but at the same time it's so far away out of my reach. I feel the blood rushing to my brain like a harsh tidal wave and I let out strangled coughs, my air bubbles escaping to the surface.

I'm choking. I'm drowning. _I'm dying_.

Before my eyes roll to the back of my head I catch sight of blood. The hands disappear from my neck and I don't even think when I swim up to the surface. I take in an exaggerated deep breath, letting the cool air quickly fill my lungs. As I gasp for air, I know that my attacker hasn't gone. I see Gloss just swimming away from me as an arrow comes straight for him. Whoever had shot the arrow missed by a few inches from Gloss's head. Obviously the guy isn't badly injured because he swims away easily. I consider going after him but the pain in my throat forces me not to go. I turn to the person who shot the arrow.

It's Finnick. He's standing on a platform near the Cornucopia looking beautiful and radiant even when he's soaked to the bone. He's holding a bow in a finished position; _my_ bow. And he's holding it wrong. Not surprisingly.

I gulp, still tasting the salty water in my mouth. My left hand comes up to feel my neck to feel for the damage Gloss had done. My throat is throbbing in pain and it feels warm from where his dangerous hands had been. At least he didn't break my neck.

I begin to dog towards Finnick. When I reach him, he extends a hand towards me. I take his hand and he hauls me onto flat ground. I'm dripping wet and it's colder now that I'm out of the water. The sun heat gives me a bit of warmth.

"Got off on an unsteady start, Katniss?" Finnick's voice is casual but he stands alert. The bloodbath isn't over yet and he knows it.

"You don't look too steady yourself." I say, eyeing the bloody scratch on his right leg. It looks like a nasty cut going right across his thigh in a straight line.

Finnick looks at his leg as if noticing the wound for the first time. He looks back up at me only half smiling. "It's just a flesh wound. You can give your thanks to District 5 for that." He says.

The canon goes off.

"And that signifies that." He says without feeling.

_That was one death so far._ I thought.

"Looks like my archery lessons paid off somewhat. You let him get away," I say. It's a bit painful to talk but not too agonizing. I'll live. "Where's Peeta?"

"Chaff is getting him. Over there." Finnick gestures with his head behind him. I look around his body to see two figures swimming towards us in the water not too far away. Peeta is on Chaff's back as he swims strongly without much effort. I'm relieved but not relieved enough because other enemy tributes are making their way towards us as well.

Finnick shoves the bow and the quiver of arrows at me. "Let's hurry and then we'll get Mags."

I drape the quiver over my back and move over to the pile of weapons. I see many of them all placed in different piles. Knives, daggers, axes, machetes, everything. I grab myself a knife and decide that's all I need. I turn around to come face to face with a male tribute. Instantly, my hand reaches back for an arrow but he's faster. He slips to the side as my arrow tries to make contact with his chest and tackles me to the ground. My back hits the ground hard with a thud and pain shoots through me. The male throws a punch at me face. As I dodge, the male tribute falls limp on top of me as soon as he threw the punch. I now see the trident stuck in his back that killed him.

Finnick moves over to pull the trident out of the dead tribute's lower back and with his foot he shoves the body off of me. "Steady." He says. He doesn't bother to help me stand as he goes over to help Mags climb atop the platform.

I blink a few times before getting up. Finnick killed the tribute so easily, without a second thought. I guess I would've done the same if he hadn't rescued me for the second time.

Then the canon booms.

_Two._

Peeta and Chaff have already made it out of the water by now. I hurry over to give Peeta a hug.

"Sure wish I could swim like Chaff," Peeta says as he returns my hug. He pulls away from me and sees my neck. "What happened to your neck?"

"It was Gloss," I say in a dismissive manner. "Don't worry about it."

Peeta doesn't listen of course. He touches my neck softly and I wince. "Does that hurt?"

"No." I lie.

"Hate to ruin your reunion but we have very limited time here." Finnick tells us, standing stiffly beside Mags. His playful attitude has vanished completely and is replaced with this serious, alerted Finnick.

"We can't go yet, not without Seeder." Chaff mentions his District 11 friend in concern.

I find myself looking around for Seeder's familiar form. I don't see her at first but then I spot her swimming towards us in the water. "There she is." I tell them as I point at the woman hurrying toward us. But there is this other form swimming behind her at a fast pace. It's a male tribute and he looks ready to kill. I pull out an arrow, not giving myself time to think about what I'm doing. Then I release the arrow, easily piercing the male tribute in the heart. His dead body begins to float in the water, moving in with the waves.

"There goes District 5." Says Finnick without feeling. Apparently he already killed the other District 5 tribute because he mentioned it not a moment ago.

Gulping, I realized I killed that tribute without a second thought just like Finnick had. That was the male tribute from District 5, the one who asked to join my alliance. And I killed him.

The canon goes off twice this time.

_Three. Four._

I shakily lower my bow as Finnick and Chaff help Seeder climb a top. We're all here now; Me, Peeta, Finnick, Mags, Chaff, and Seeder. That's all.

Before we make our way towards the jungle out of the area, Chaff, Seeder, and Peeta grab themselves some weapons first. Chaff grabs a machete, Seeder with a couple of daggers, and Peeta with a bowie knife. We'll come back to the Cornucopia later for more weapons when the bloodbath is over if we need them.

I flinch when the canon goes off again.

_Five._

Too many deaths. What would I expect from the bloodbath? "Let's get out of here." I say quietly.

After that we're gone, heading into the jungle with Chaff in the lead. Our feet thud across the sand as we make our way into the jungle, avoiding other attackers. We make sure we get far away from the beach as possible before we start walking. It's difficult to make our way through the jungle. It's very dense and humid with the bunch of vegetation growing in odd angles, obstructing our walkway. Chaff has to cut through with his machete as he leads the way for us.

And we hear the canon twice.

_Six. Seven._

Seven deaths out of twenty-four were lost in the bloodbath. I was responsible for one of those deaths. I swallow and try not to think about it.

We take turns leading the way, passing on the machete to either one of us. I don't fully trust these people though, that's why I'm always remaining close to Peeta. He's the only person I trust out of anyone here. Chaff is large and muscular, two times bigger than Finnick. He can easily lift me or Peeta up and throw us around like ragdolls if he wanted to. And Finnick. If I'm not fast enough, he'll have that trident piercing my throat before I even have time to pull an arrow from the sheath. Seeder's very kind but she's quick. I can't imagine her trying to kill either one of us anyway.

We're very deep within the jungle by now and there's still no sign of water. I have to call everyone to stop because my throat's so dry. I need something, anything liquid to go down my throat right about now. Everyone settles down, leaning their backs against trees or just standing cautiously.

I decide to scout out the area to see where we are. I let the others know before looking around for an interesting tree to climb. My eyes land on the tallest tree; it's large, with dark brown bark. An oak tree. For a moment, I stare at it and then at Peeta, weighing the pros and cons of letting him out of my sight. I'll only be a second. No one would try and kill him that quickly, I don't think. I make my way over to the oak tree. My hand finds the first hold and my other hand finds the other. I haul myself until I can wedge my foot into a gap in the trunk. Then I reach for the next hold which is a stump where a branch had once been, and wedge my other foot into a higher gap. I climb a few more feet higher until I'm at least ten feet above the ground. I pause to see how far I've gotten. The ground was pretty far down by now. As usual, no fear formed its way into my body. I'm not afraid of heights. I turn to face the tree and proceed to climb.

I manage to reach the top of the tree in a few more seconds. My feet are placed firmly on the highest, sturdiest branch, and one hand holds onto another to keep my balance. My vision only goes by as far as the top of the trees. I see the beach a bit far off from where we were and the silver tip of the Cornucopia. There's a really tall hill about a few minutes' walk away and nothing else interests me. I don't know what I was expecting to see. Any type of water other than the beach, I guess. I stay there for a moment, letting the cool air hit my bare cheeks. This feels nice. Just like back at home in the woods where Gale and I hunt. Every now and then I would climb a tree just to see the sights and let the wind bask me from a high place.

Maybe I should hunt. Anything going down my throat will suffice for now. Ultimately I begin to climb down the tree carefully. There's a branch that I'm not sure is sturdy so I test it out with my foot. I only put half of my weight on it. When the branch doesn't make a sound, I stump on it hard. Nothing. Deciding it's sturdy enough, I let all my weight lean on it, releasing the other branch I'd been holding. As soon as my weight weighs down on the branch, it begins to crack. I quickly withdraw my leg and grasp onto the previous branch I was on. The branch plummets to the ground, at least a ten foot drop. That could've been me. I sigh through my nose and start to find another route down. When I reach near the bottom, I let myself jump. My feet hit the ground with a low thump. My landing wasn't perfect and I guess that's why my right ankle twisted upon impact.

Instantly I buckle and fall to my side and I grunt. My right ankle is throbbing a bit in pain. I know it can't be broken because it didn't twist that hard. I place my bow down beside me so I could hold the ankle with my hand for a moment, until the pain subsides. Then in one quick movement, my hands are on my bow again and I whip around. I'm pointing an arrow at Finnick. I didn't even hear his approach but maybe it was that slight uneasiness in the air or his feet hitting the jungle floor that caused me to turn. However he managed to reach me so silently will remain a mystery to me.

"Did you fall?" he asks me, taking a step in my direction.

"Stay there." I order, pulling myself to my feet. He halts. For some reason I find his presence threatening. He's holding his trident alertly, as if he's ready to use it at any given moment. Well, what can I say, I'm a threat to him as well. Finnick stares at me for a long moment as if he's waiting for me to lower my weapon first. I don't give him that satisfaction. Instead, I get a firmer grip on my bow and the arrow that will kill him.

Finnick seems to realize this and he smiles. "Here we are." He says casually, as if we're having a pleasant encounter.

"It's come down to this," I say just as casually, keeping my bow aimed steadily at him. "Did I catch you off guard, Odair?" I mock.

"Not at all." He says calmly. Even though his voice is even, I see his muscles are tense and ready, hand holding the trident securely. His hair is still damp from swimming but even wet he carries this beautiful glow. Stunning. But I know better than that. Looks can be deceiving.

He begins to examine my body closely, my speed, my skill. I do the same, staring at every inch of him. I know he's fast, real fast. I wonder if I have time to pierce this arrow through his throat and still have time to dodge an oncoming trident. He's more than likely to throw his weapon at me like a spear. I would have to be quick.

"What was up with your interview with Caesar Flickerman, Odair?" I ask. "Didn't know you had a _soft_ spot for me."

Finnick's not fazed by my tone. Instead his smile turns into a smirk and his eyes glint in the sunlight that peeks through the trees. His eyes aren't as green as the trees' leaves. "I thought you liked what I had to say. I mean, it is true that you came to _me_ personally to form an alliance."

"I made a mistake." I say, trying to defend myself. No, he's right. I didn't have to agree to his and Gloss's bet at all. In fact, I didn't have to speak to either of them at all. But what did I do? I agreed to their silly, childish game and put myself in a position. I _asked _Finnick to create an alliance with. Now I realize how much of an idiot I was. Funny how at first I didn't want Finnick, then I wanted him, and now I don't want him. I waited until it was too late to decide I didn't want him again. Now the only way I can get myself out of this situation is to the kill him before he kills me. We're already aiming our weapons at each other dangerously.

Finnick begins to move slowly, silently, circling me. "Let's be honest here, Katniss. We're not fools," he says. "You never liked me. Not before this, not now. Not even when you asked me to be your ally."

"Clearly," I murmur, following him with my arrow. "I'm surprised it only took you until now to figure that out."

"Which confuses me," Finnick goes on as if I hadn't spoken. He halts. "Why partner with someone you hate?"

I swallow hard. I don't necessarily _hate_ him. My feelings for him are beyond hate. "I don't know. Tell me why you agreed."

Smiling. He keeps smiling like he's winning this conversation and that makes me angry. "I thought I was being obvious enough," He says simply. I raise an eyebrow in confusion. He stares right back at me as if thrilled with my confusion. "Ah, Girl on Fire, what ever happened to that innocent girl who volunteered for her little sister? Where did the days go?" He asks in a tone that makes my skin crawl.

Everyone knows about how I volunteered for Prim in the 74th Hunger Games, last year. I was a whole different person then and Finnick knows very well about that from the televisions. I was thin, afraid of going into the unknown. Now I'm lean and strong, ready to do what I must to survive. I've transformed like every other victor.

"She's gone," I reply. "She died in the 74th Games." That's partly true. I don't want Finnick to know that that weak side of me is still exists.

"That's a shame though. I kind of liked her." Finnick says coolly.

"You wouldn't be happy to know that she never liked you," That Katniss Everdeen saw his games on television too. How he managed to kill several tributes with just a trident at age fourteen and earned sponsors by his good looks. That's where his popularity began. I wasn't a fool like all of the other girls. I wasn't drawn to Finnick's charming looks or calm composure. Not now either. "Not even the new Katniss." I add.

Finnick's not affected by my harsh words because that grin spreads even wider. He stares at me casually for a second. Then his eyes find my ankle which I've been favoring since I twisted it. The pain was still there but it wasn't broken. "You seem to be unsteady there, Katniss." Finnick states, gesturing with the tip of his trident.

I lean on my right foot a bit to show him that I'm fine. "You're imagin─" I wince. Then I clear my throat. "You're imagining things."

He's not convinced. "You're injured. I see no fairness in that." He says and his eyes oddly flicker. Is he concerned?

"Whatever did I do to you?" I ask. "Why do _you_ hate me?"

Finnick blinks at me as if I just said something that genuinely surprised him. "What? I don't hate you."

"Then can you explain to me why you embarrassed me in front of everyone?" I'm not using my words very carefully. People are watching us, watching this conversation like some show. Who wouldn't be watching the Girl on Fire have a showdown with Finnick Odair?"

He shrugs his shoulders lightly. "I wasn't trying to embarrass you. I didn't think I did anyway," he says. He sounds sincere enough. "I meant everything I said."

He's messing with you. I'm sure of it. Trying to get me to think he genuinely has a liking towards me. That's kind of hard to believe, coming from him. After all the teasing we've been through? No. He can't like me.

I decide I've had enough talk and ready my hand to release the arrow.

"I _did_ save you." He adds. I guess he thinks he has to remind me because he sees that I'm about ready to shoot him. I pause to think this through. He did save me, twice, during the bloodbath. I lower my bow a bit. Was I really about to shoot him just now…? Could I have done it and then walked away like nothing happened? My hands _were_ about to release the arrow.

I realize now how dangerous I've become.

"Katniss?" I turn my head to see Peeta standing there, not too far from me. "What's going on?" he asks, eyeing Finnick and me quizzically. I can't imagine what he thinks, seeing us aiming our weapons at each other.

"Um…" I can't seem to find my words.

"We were talking." Finnick says, saving me.

Peeta doesn't look convinced but he nods anyway and hugs me. "Are you okay?" he asks me.

"Fine. Just twisted my ankle." I murmur. I tuck my arrow away and let Peeta guide me to the others who aren't too far away in between the trees. I cast one last look at Finnick, who's watching us leave closely with an unreadable expression. Would we really have killed each other if Peeta hadn't showed up? Do I have the courage to finish him off later?

**(o)(o)(o)**

Hours later, I'm sitting propped up against a tree as everyone sleeps soundlessly around me. Peeta's sleeping next to me with his head resting on my lap, breathing through his mouth silently. I had offered to take the first watch because I didn't feel comfortable with someone else watching. Earlier we saw the fallen tributes pop up on a holographic screen above us. So far seven were dead. Wiress from District 3, District 8 and 5, the male morphling from District 6, and a female tribute from District 10. There were seventeen tributes left now.

I sigh as I brush some hair from Peeta's eyes. Tomorrow we'll look for water again and hopefully I'll have Haymitch's guidance. He can easily get water sent to me but I guess he knows I'll find the water without his help. I would have to trust his sagacity.

There's a rustle in the ferns in front of me and I go rigid. Instantly, I believe whoever it is has to be another tribute trying to do a sneak attack. So, quietly I lift Peeta's head off of my lap and lay him gently on the ground next to me. Before I can reach for my bow and an arrow something steps out from the bushes. My blood runs cold as ice when I see that the animal is a wolf. There aren't any wolves in jungles, right? Far as I'm concerned wolves hunt in packs and they usually live in forests or vast hills. As I'm trying to make sense of it, the wolf begins to take careful steps toward me. Its mouth opens to reveal a mouth full of sharp fangs and it lets out a low, angry growl from its throat.

I turn my head slightly to gaze at my bow and arrows just a few inches away from me. Any sudden movements will alarm the wolf. As silently as possible I scoot closer to my weapon as the wolf takes meaningful steps closer and closer to me. I reach for my bow and an arrow as innocently as I can but as soon as I touch them, this seems to trigger something in the wolf because it lunges at me.

**To be continued…**

_Thanks a lot for reading this chapter and reviews are always appreciated. Next update will be on Friday._


	8. Fatality

**Chapter 8**

**Fatality**

**Last Update: 1/31/2014**

Blood boiling, adrenaline coursing through my body like a hurricane, my hands reach for the bow and arrow but they aren't fast enough, _I'm_ not fast enough. And my not so quick movement was my mistake because the wolf is on top of me now. The bow and arrows are gone out of my reach now and think a second ago they could've been in my hands. I'm shoved against the tree bark behind me from the wolf's powerful weight. Now I can see its eyes, those piercing yellow eyes are filled with so much hatred and desire. I can smell its breath, its sick breath of death as if it recently had meal that didn't suffice to its hungry belly. Now I'm its next meal. Then the wolf's razor blade teeth sink into the flesh of my exposed throat and clamps its jaw shut. My eyes are watering, I'm screaming too, and blood is rushing down my throat like a waterfall.

Then I'm awake in an instant. Immediately my hands shoot up to my neck in fear, thinking I'm still bleeding uncontrollably. But I'm not. My neck is dry and clean. There's no sign of the wolf. I'm alone with my other allies who are sleeping soundlessly as if nothing happened. A low sigh escapes my mouth when I realize my horrible encounter with the beast was just a gross nightmare that my mind decided to conjure up while I slept. It was a dream. Just a stupid dream. But why am I still shaking? I feel for my neck again, making sure I'm even alive. My hands are ice cold but my neck is warm. This feels real. Then I pinch the skin under my jaw and wince. That feels real.

I laugh, a wholeheartedly laugh, but its silent though as to not wake the others. When I'm done laughing like an idiot, I stand up to pace around. I had no idea how I fell asleep the first time. I was supposed to be on watch. Luckily no other enemy tributes came along while we all slept. They could have murdered us all. I pause when I see a pair of eyes staring in my direction. The moonlight bounces right off their dark brown orbs. Chaff.

"You alright there?" he asks me, stifling a loud yawn. He sits up to stretch out his muscular arms.

"Fine." I murmur.

"I can take over if you'd like." He offers.

"That'd be great. Thank you." I breathe in relief. I don't waste any time in curling up beside Peeta. Then in seconds I'm asleep.

There's this funny feeling on the tip of nose. I brush whatever it is away and clench my eyes shut tighter. Can't anyone get some sleep around here? I shift my head a bit to get comfortable. It feels like my head is resting on top of someone's legs. Peeta, I assume. I smile to myself. A few seconds later, the tickling comes back on the tip of my nose. Feels similar to something hairy. Annoyed, I brush it away again.

"Stop that, Peeta…" I mutter under my breath, turning my head to the side.

Silence. I'm thinking Peeta stopped finally but the tickling starts back up again. Quickly, I reach up, grab the hairy thing, and yank it. A pain shoots through the back of my head and my eyes pop open. My eyes are blurry and I blink them to adjust to the light. I look at my hand to see that I'm holding my own braid. I turn my head. Finnick's gorgeous, sea green eyes stare down at me.

His lips curl up into one of his famous smiles that would get any Capitol girl to faint or scream in awe. "Morning." He says it in a playful manner.

Swallowing, I turn my head again to see Peeta sleeping on the ground just a few feet across from us. My cheeks begin to flush as I realize that I'm resting on Finnick's lap and not Peeta's. I turn my head back to Finnick and try to frown at him but it doesn't work. I'm far too embarrassed to glare now.

"What are you doing?" I ask him shakily. "What am I doing here…on your lap?"

He shrugs his shoulders lightly. "You were really out of it when you came over last night. Decided to sleep on me and I let you. Guess you thought I was Peeta." He says reservedly.

I sit up slowly and realize how tense my body is. I try to force my muscles to relax but they won't. It's like Finnick has this kind of unforeseen power to make people uncomfortable with his charming looks and cool demeanor. If I'm under his spell then I'm no better than a foolish Capitol girl. I breathe in through my nose, Finnick's salty scent drifting in me, filling me up. I shiver but it's not cold. It's actually pretty warm out.

I hear Finnick standing up behind me. He dusts off himself. "Well. We should wake everyone else up. It's already dawn," he says. Then he adds with his seductive purr, "Unless you want to get comfy on my lap again?"

I'm shaking my head. My mind imagines me sitting on Finnick's lap as he wraps his strong arms around my body. Then I shake my head to clear it.

_Don't be silly_. I thought. _This is Finnick Odair we're talking about._

When everyone is awake and ready to go, we travel onward. The second day in the arena and our goal is to search for water. While we're out here trying to kill each other, my mind wanders to my family back at home. Prim's probably eating breakfast now with mom and the thought of food makes my stomach growl. Perhaps I should hunt. Yesterday's dinner didn't precisely suffice as a meal. The rodent that I caught the other day didn't taste too good either. We cooked it, yes, but the taste was nothing better than burnt bread.

The thought of hunting sounds like a good idea right about now. Maybe I can catch a few animals today to satisfy my belly but my dry throat reminds me that I need water more. The thought of water was the strongest force to drive me to keep moving. Hunting reminds me of Gale. We use to hunt all the time back in the woods in District 12. On Sundays when he's not working in the mines, we escape to the woods where no one is allowed to go and hunt. When we aren't hunting, we just sit down and enjoy one another's company or go to the abandon cabin that no one knows about. Which brings me back to the kiss we shared there. We were going to run away together, with our families of course, but as soon as I told Gale about the uprising, he wanted to stay and fight. If we only left then, I wouldn't be here in the games.

I'm thinking minutes go by but I realize it's been hours because the sun is edging closer to the center of the sky. The jungle is very humid and dense. Taking in deep breaths makes breathing harder so I avoid my temptations and breathe normally. I'm aware that I'm walking alongside Seeder now. I notice how her movements are tired and she keeps licking her lips that keeps getting dryer and dryer.

Eventually, Chaff calls to stop to take a break.

_What time is it?_ I wonder, glancing up at the sky. I have to look away right away because my eyes meet the sun dead on. _Probably afternoon by now_. I blink my eyes, seeing colorful lights obscure my vision. It takes a few seconds before my eyes turn to normal.

I lean my back against a tree while standing.

Peeta, Finnick, and Mags are crowded around something. My curiosity drags me over to them. I come next to Peeta to see what they're gathering around. There's these light green berries hanging from a bush. Several of these oval shaped berries are attached to a single stem at once, all hanging from the bush in different areas.

I'm surprised when Peeta picks one and plops it into his mouth. "_Peeta_!" I scream at him. "Spit that out, now!"

Alarmed, he spits it out onto the ground.

"Don't ever do that," I snap. "You don't know what those things are. They could be poisonous."

"Relax, Katniss," Finnick tries to assure me. "They're grapes. Grapes aren't poisonous."

I examine the berries closely with narrowed eyes. They do resemble grapes a lot with their oval, plump shapes. Though I'm not fooled by their appearance.

Finnick picks a stem from the bush with a lot of grapes on it. He's about to put one into his mouth but I slap it out of his hand. "Hey!" he exclaims.

"They could kill you!" I shout. Why aren't they listening to me? They all should know not to eat strange fruits out in the wilderness. I remember the nightlock berries and my fear grows.

Chaff and Seeder come over to see what all the commotion was about.

"What's the matter?" Seeder asks, her tone packed with concern.

I'm huffing through my nose angrily as I explain to Seeder and Chaff. "They're trying to eat these strange berries. I was telling them that they could be poisonous."

Chaff peers over our shoulders to take a look at these strange berries. He examines them only for a moment, then he smiles. "Grapes." He says.

Seeder is nodding in agreement. "I know grapes when I see them." She sounds so sure of herself

I sigh. If they're so sure, I'll let them do what they want but there's no way I'm letting Peeta do the testing. Finnick's the first to put one into his mouth. I watch him chew on it slowly, anticipating the worse. I almost sigh in relief when his eyes brighten but my sigh is cut short when his eyes turn to horror. He stumbles backward, holding his neck with his hands, gagging crazily.

"Help him!" I tell someone else to help him because I honestly don't know what to do. It's not often I'm in a situation when someone's choking or whatever is happening to him.

Finnick suddenly stops. He stands up straight and lets his arms fall to his sides. He smiles at us. "Yeah, they're safe."

Chaff cracks up laughing. Everyone else is grinning but I'm not. I didn't find that trick funny.

When everyone else begins eating the grapes, I just eat them too. I place one of the squishy fruits into my mouth. It fills my mouth up with its naturally sweet juices and I'm delighted as it relieves my throat from its dryness. We all take a few grapes with us before we push on through the jungle. The grapes were temporary because we're still on a mission to find water.

I'm still not happy with Finnick after that grape incident but he seems to insist I'm fine with it. He slows down a bit until he's walking right beside me with a handful of grapes. The berries that he claims are harmless even after his drastic, gagging episode he tried to fool us with.

"Grape?" He asks. And I'm somehow reminded of the sugarcube incident when we first met. And I'm only going to decline just because _he_ offered me one.

"No, thanks." I say, shuffling away from him bit, not liking him invading my personal space. He's already done it several times before when we met and more times to count in the training center. I don't see why I bother trying to inch away from him. My movements were sure and deliberate, but apparently that doesn't faze him, because he comes to my side again by some magnetic force.

"A shame." The grape goes into his own mouth. I watch the fruit make his cheek bulge into a round surface then it disappears as he takes the first bite, squashing it in between his teeth.

I look away, finding the ground more interesting than Finnick's flawless complexion. I place one foot in front of the other casually, stepping over pebbles and sticks. Chaff's leading the way, I can hear him strongly cutting through the vines and other plant life not too far in front of me. Seeder, Mags, and Peeta walk ahead of him. Seeder's telling the two a story about how her little brother brought back a stray dog home. Peeta and Mags keep nodding or laughing in response.

I only then realize that Finnick's still walking next to me. "Do you need anything else?" I question, my tone flat.

"I'm only walking," Finnick says. He holds a grape up to his face. I see that his eyes are a darker shade of green than the grapes. Then he tosses the fruit into his mouth. "You know, you're really confusing, I can't figure you out. You're very unpredictable."

I frown at him. "I can say the same about you."

"Sometimes you're fine with me being close to you," he goes on as if I hadn't spoken. "Other times you can't stand being next to me. Like now."

"Maybe I was never comfortable around you to be begin with." I say sternly. Definitely not comfortable now that we're in the games. _You can kill me at any given moment if you wanted to_. That's why my hand is kept firmly on my bow. I don't think he'd try to hurt me right now though, in front of everyone, but one can never be too sure.

"That's not what the poisonous grape says." Finnick's tone is a matter fact. It's twisted calmness takes me to the edge. I won't let him win this fight.

"_What_?" I keep my voice even.

Maybe my tone wasn't convincing enough. Finnick turns his head towards me, a smile masking his expression. "Think about it." He says.

I let my mind roam to earlier. I see Finnick about to throw a grape into his mouth, because he's entirely convinced they are innocuous, but I slap it out of his hand. That's what happened earlier. That simple act. And Finnick thinks that by me doing that, I actually care for his life. I grit my teeth angrily with my mouth closed that the Odair actually got to me. I have no comebacks, nothing to say to defend my actions.

He won this battle.

Finnick doesn't brag about it, he just looks away, satisfied.

"Good to know you're enjoying yourself." I scoff.

He nods his head. "Better to enjoy than to destroy."

"Why is this funny to you?" I demand. My voice is calm but it's impossible to hide the hint of annoyance. "All of this, I mean." Gesturing towards the whole jungle, everyone in it, the other tributes, our enemies, the games period, the situation.

And Finnick doesn't seem to recognize my frustration. He simply dusts invisible particles from his shoulder and then gazes at me with calm eyes. "I'd rather be happy about the death of our enemies than upset."

"What is _wrong_ with you?" I don't know, but I don't think Finnick's exactly _bright_.

Finnick's not at all fazed by my tone. "The faster the numbers drop, the longer we live, the less we need to kill." He replies, plopping another grape into his mouth carelessly.

I swallow hard, letting my own spit relieve my dry throat a bit. I can probably make sense of what he's saying but I don't try to. I just don't see the nonchalant behavior in all of this. People are put in here to kill or be killed, simple as that. This is considered a game, that I find sick and twisted, and there's no visible fun in it as far as I'm concerned. My mind can't work my way around Finnick's brain because his skull is so thick that I cannot not even get by. He may be stunning and appealing on the outside but he's unpredictable, arrogant, and obnoxious on the inside. I would need a sludge hammer in order to get passed his skull just to find out what goes on in his head.

This frustration is annoying me. "I don't understand." I snort.

"It's not hard, Katniss." Finnick says surely, shaking his head.

"It's not easy either." I say. I find myself envious of his calmness. Sometimes I don't want to think about all the deaths and all the bad things that are happening to me. When I let my arrow hit that District 5 tribute in the heart, a part of me was taken down with him. Every time I kill someone, a piece is broken off of me, and is replaced by this overwhelming guilt. And I can't ignore it. It's tearing at my internal organs like a parasite.

"True," Finnick says lightly. Then his voice grows surprisingly serious. "In my previous games I wasn't able to do it, cope with it. Not right away, anyway," I look at him. "I was terrified, honestly, but I was soon able to replace the fear with determination and think about what exactly mattered to me. I had to keep reminding myself that I needed to live and nothing else mattered," he looks away from me to examine the last grape in between his fingers. "Now, I have something else more important to think about other than me for once. Just think about what's important, Katniss, and push everything else away. Every other thought is insignificant."

We slightly duck under a tangle of vines. I think about what he said. I think I get it now. My own life is not the most important thing to me right now. Last games, that was most important. Now Peeta's life is most important to me. That's what I should be focusing on. Keeping him alive. Nothing else matters.

Easier said than done.

Then I remember what Finnick said. What could be more important to him than _his_ own life?

I turn my head towards him. He's about to put the last grape into his mouth. Just as he does, I lean over and close my mouth around the grape in his fingers. I pull away chewing, Finnick staring at me wide eyes. I never thought I'd see Finnick look so surprised and I have to laugh because it's hilarious. This brings everyone in front of us to glance at me strangely, with tilted heads. Peeta raises his eyebrows, looking from me to Finnick questioningly. I shake my head dismissively at them and they look away.

The grape juice didn't satisfy me for long. Water soon travels to my mind.

As if on cue, a silver parachute comes floating down in front of me. It lands on the ground lightly. I pick it up and unwrap the package. Inside is a large metal container, at least seven inches in height and four inches in width.

It's a canteen. A large canteen.

The six of us continue on through the jungle as one, cutting through trees and vines and bushes, our feet scuffling the jungle floor messily. Our supply of grapes had long deceased and we were left with nothing to relieve our dry throats. I'm lingering in the back of group because my arm was getting tired from cutting for so long. Chaff's in the lead now, again. I'm breathing heavily through my nose and I feel like lying down and letting myself sweat to death. Sounds like a pretty good idea. I'm about to do just that but Finnick's beside me, holding me by my elbow.

"Careful." He says. His voice is hoarse and I thought I'd never seen his lips so dry. His once pretty features look practically like a zombie. He lets go of me and walks ahead of me now.

I try to swallow my spit to satisfy my throat but I realize I have no more saliva to conjure up. My mouth is so dry. I lick my lips only to find out that my tongue is as dry as my lips are.

We're all going to die of dehydration.

After about another half hour, I believe, I hear the sound of rushing water.

_A waterfall…?_

Before I realize it, my feet are moving at a quick pace and I push passed everyone until I'm in front. I mindlessly shove bushes and vines out of the way until the jungle opens up to a clearing. What catches my attention first is the tall waterfall. Water gushes down a rocky hill that leads straight to a fast moving river. I inhale happily as I rush over to the river. Everyone lines up along the river instantly. We all begin to drink like there's no tomorrow. I feel this sudden energy course through me as water fills into my body nonstop.

I let out a sigh when I'm done drinking. I have no idea how long I've been drinking but it felt like a lifetime. Peeta settles down beside me, leaning back on his palms. "Phew." He says happily.

I smile as I begin to fill up the canteen with water. This container would really come in handy later.

_Thanks, Haymitch._

"I thought we'd never find water." Seeder says in relief from beside Chaff.

Then unexpected a figure comes dashing out of the trees and collides right into Chaff. They both fall into the river and are taken away with the current. Seeder wastes no time in jumping in to save her District friend. I immediately stand to my feet with Peeta. I don't want to jump in because I don't want to leave Peeta behind. There could be more enemy tributes around. Instead I run down the river to catch up with my allies. Peeta follows close behind me.

"Katniss!" Peeta suddenly shouts.

I spin around to see another female tribute knocking him over into the water. An ear splitting scream escapes my lips. Now I'm forced to jump in. I don't know how but almost everyone's in the river now. The water's current is so strong and it's pulling me further and further down. Water splashes in my face and in my mouth, causing me to cough. I call out to Peeta through a fit of coughs but he doesn't return my call. I notice Finnick running alongside the river with Mags on his back ahead of me. That's when I catch a glimpse of a head a few feet ahead of me, poking out of the water. Then I see arms flailing about and I know it's Peeta.

He's drowning!

My arms and legs move with the current which takes me closer and closer to Peeta. Fortunately Finnick is there before I am. He lets Mags off his back and he reaches his arms into the water. Soon after he pulls a soaked Peeta out. I'm relieved but only for a few seconds because I see another figure in the water. It's that female tribute who tackled Peeta into the water. She's ahead of me, trying to swim towards me, towards the hefty current and she's holding a weapon. A knife.

Unfortunately I cannot use my bow while I'm being pulled in the water, so I try to swim to shore. I reach with my arms towards Finnick who's waiting for me but I'm too far away. My hands slip right passed his by a few inches and then I'm gone. The female tribute has reached me by now. She tries to swipe at me with her blade. I try to dodge her but she gets me right on the cheek. Blood splatters, mixing in with the water. I grunt angrily. Instead of swimming away from her, I tackle her into the water, making sure to avoid her knife. We're both underwater now, fighting for the knife. I manage to pry her hand off the knife and she drops it, where it falls down to the bottom of the river. I try to come up for air but the female tribute pulls me right back down. Air bubbles escape from my mouth as I shout.

I remember the sheath of arrows still on my back. Immediately I pull one out. I try to stab her with the tip of the arrow while underwater but my movements are slow and she's able to block my attack. One of her hands reaches up for my neck and manages to grab hold there while holding my wrist with the arrow in her other hand. I kick and squirm viciously, feeling my chest begin to throb in pain. I will need air soon and so will she.

Somehow I wrench my wrist free from her grasp and bring the arrow down to her stomach. She cries out when the arrow pierces her skin. Her cries are drowned out by the water. I stab her again with the arrow, feeling guilty with each stab.

_It's self-defense!_ I try to convince myself.

Finally I drop the arrow altogether and swim up to the surface, coughing wildly. The female tribute's body floats up beside me, red blood oozing out of her wounds. The both of us are still being taken down the river. I don't see no sign of anyone. Not Chaff, who should still be in the water, or that other male tribute, let alone Finnick and the others.

Suddenly my body smacks against something hard. The invisible force field. I can't move. The force of the water is keeping me in place. My head goes under and my body begins tumbling in place, constantly banging against the force field. I try to swim up but it's utterly impossible. Thus my body continues to roll and tumble, knocking against the hard wall; continuously tumbling, slamming, and drowning...

**To be continued…**


	9. Insoluble

**Chapter 9**

**Insoluble**

**Last Update: 2/3/2014**

Drowning. I'm drowning, right? No. I feel air against my cheeks. I'm not in the water anymore. My eyes are closed. Someone's deliberately pressing on my chest forcefully. With much difficulty I open my eyes slowly to find someone's lips on mine now and the compressions have stopped. My vision is still blurry from the water. I don't know where I am but I'm lying flat on my back on hard ground. I'm no longer drowning in the dreaded river. The person over me is not in fact kissing me but blowing air into my mouth. I blink my eyes quickly to get rid of the blur and begin coughing up water. Finnick pulls his lips away from mine to exclaim, "She's back!"

As I continue to cough, Finnick's face moves away and is replaced by Peeta's relieved expression. He lifts me up and pulls me into a tight embrace. "It's okay, it's okay. You're okay, Katniss." He pats my back as water spills from my mouth and onto the back of his jumpsuit.

The water finally stops escaping my mouth and I gulp in relief, too weak to return Peeta's hug, so I just let my arms hang limply at my sides. I feel my body throbbing all over from continuously knocking into that invisible force field. My head is vibrating, indicating an oncoming headache, and I feel myself shivering.

I turn my head, seeing all familiar faces; Seeder, Mags, and Finnick sitting all around me on their knees. This isn't everyone.

I swallow. "Where…where's Chaff?" I already hated I asked. I didn't want to hear the answer because I know the worse had happened to him.

"He didn't make it." Seeder's voice cracks, her eyes solemn and watery. She clenches them shut tightly in order to stop the tears.

Finnick, hair matted down on his head, eyes grim, says, "I tried saving him before I got you but…he was stabbed multiple times."

I close my eyes, finally finding the strength to wrap my tired arms around Peeta's waist. Tears are burning my eyes. I really want to cry, I really do. But a part of me tells me that I have to be strong; I have to be strong for everyone. _Multiple times_, I echo. Chaff was stabbed multiple times. I gulp as a thought crosses my mind. I try to dig within my memory for the culprit, for the one who killed Chaff. I stabbed someone multiple times. No. No, it wasn't Chaff though. It was a female tribute. Yes, that's right. It's not my fault…not my fault.

Peeta helps me stand. I'm a little wobbly but I manage. He doesn't leave my side, wrapping an arm around my shoulders to balance me.

Chaff and I never spoke much. In fact, I never wanted him as an ally in the first place. He turned out to be a good person though. I remember last night when he offered to keep watch and all the other times he spoke to me. Then there's this pang of contrite in my chest, tying me in a knot with its evil hands. I feel bile rise in my throat but I swallow it down before it reaches my mouth.

"Let's get out of this area before we're jumped by other enemies." Finnick suggests as he climbs to a standing position. He helps Mags up.

Seeder stands, her arms folded across her chest. A look of determination replaced her once solemn look.

**(o)(o)(o)**

Night comes by within the blink of an eye. I'm sat next to Peeta on a clump of moss as the fallen tributes pop up right above our heads and music begins to play. One face comes up; the tribute girl I killed. I swallow hard, wanting to look away from her face but I can't. Then her face disappears a second later. Chaff's face comes up soon after. He looks strong and determined and alive in this picture. Then his face disappears and the hologram screen disappears along with him, the music dying down to silence.

Thoughts of Chaff roam my mind constantly. I honestly didn't know him that well but I _knew_ him. I spoke to him, he spoke to me, I came in contact with him. Now he's gone. Wiped from existence just like that. Just like all the other tributes from last games; Cato, Clove, Thresh…Rue. Gone forever, as if they were never alive in the first place. That's what I feel like. Their deaths will always haunt me for the rest of my days. At least, I won't have to suffer anymore by the end of these games because I'll be as good as dead.

Several minutes go by and Peeta's fast asleep next to me. Soon after everyone follows suit. I guess everyone decided I would keep watch without really telling me. I won't be able to sleep tonight so I get up and move towards the sand. We're near the beach. My feet shuffle silently against the sandy flooring, with eloquent steps. I come to a stop when I reach the water. I stay there staring at the sea, watching as the waves overlap the shore just inches from my feet before retreating away. The process continues as long as I stay there. It's quiet except for the sonorous sea that delights my eardrums. My arms fold across my chest.

I can see the moon's hazy reflection moving within the water, as if it were floating above the surface. My eyes stay stuck to the sight, thinking. For a moment, my mind forgets about everything that's happened. All the deaths and stupid President Snow, everything just washes away in the waves, taking away all of my thoughts for this one moment. I let my mind go silent, instead just to focus on the sight before me. The water has no time span, no beginning, no ending. _The ocean water extends on endless, forever moving towards the sun_; I recite a work by Paulina Ziegler. _Water laps across the ever so soft sand like when a door closes at a slow pace before sliding away and returning back. The sea has no mind of its own. No thought process. It only moves at a steady rhythm, fulfilling its natural purpose that was decided long before its existence came to be._

There's a sudden tap on my shoulder from behind and I jump in surprise. I whip around to come face to face with _him_. I should have heard his approach but he was always so mysteriously silent. He looks radiant and sparkly under the stars light but I don't want to think about his gorgeousness. Especially now that he's laughing hysterically at me. Being angry is more acceptable because I really don't know what brought him over here ─ or whatever woke him for that matter ─ in the first place. If he were ever sleeping at all.

"What do you want, _Odair_?" I keep my voice even but I can't hold the hiss when I say his last name. It felt like venom escaping my lips, finally ridding me of its sick presence.

By now he's not laughing anymore, but he still has that grin on his face that makes me want to slap him. He places his hands on his hips, thinking. Probably some kind of treacherous ways to annoy me. And fortunately he only says, "Just your company, Girl on Fire."

That may be true, only because he wants to irritate me for no apparent reason. I watch as he inches closer to me, eyes never leaving mine. I hold my ground, my arms squeezing my body tighter. Will he try and kill me tonight, while everyone sleeps? We both could have done just that the other day. I was so close to shooting him in the heart and I'm still not sure if I could've actually done it or not. Death is only a whisper away in the games. But I must be in good fortune, because Finnick doesn't look ready to murder me. He pauses a few feet from me.

"Want to go swimming?" he asks casually.

I stare him as if he's gone mad. My mind wonders if his nerves are even catching on to the cold air around us. I'll admit the water looks nice tonight but not nice enough to take a dip. We would be icicles if we even so much as touched the water.

"I _drowned_ today." I say. I feel like I have to remind him that I might have developed some phobia of water and that he's not making sense.

"I _revived_ you." He says as if that solves everything.

Great. I feel better. Yes, that makes me want to change my mind about going for a swim, in the middle of the night. Sure if I drown, he'll revive me. Drowning is what I do for a living. Stating my near death experience doesn't seem to angle Finnick in the right direction of sanity. And I certainly am thankful for him rescuing me, really ─ which gives me another reason to owe him ─ but I'm not going to experiment in the water again.

"We_ lost_ Chaff." I say seriously, trying to break him out of this strange state. And perchance bringing up the death of our strong ally will find some sense in Finnick Odair's brain.

This seems to shift his mood. "It was an honorable death…" he murmurs quietly. His eyes flicker sadly and we grow quiet.

Just the thought of our dead companion brings chills to my bones and perhaps Finnick too because he's not grinning at me anymore. I didn't like Chaff but I did care for him. Maybe Finnick had a somewhat bond with the guy without knowing him well.

I crouch down to a sitting position on the sand, facing the ocean, and wrap my arms around my knees. My chin rests on top of them. Even my body warmth cannot block out the cold air but it's good enough for now. Curling up next to Peeta and going to sleep isn't an option because I'll only be asking for nightmares. I tilt my head up to watch Finnick settle down beside me, not too close, as to not invade my personal space – for once in his life. He rests his hands on the sand behind him and leans on them as he stares at the sea. The stars and the moon's reflection are visible there, bouncing off the surface of the water. Finnick's entire body appears to be glowing slightly under the stars' light. No matter what angle I look at him, he'll always show off this beautifulness of him, a gift that only exists rarely in people.

Right now, he looks peaceful. I have to think that he's not just Finnick Odair. He's a regular person, like me, like Peeta, like Gale. He's not this Capitol charmer, without a flaw in his life. A normal guy, sitting next to me, just watching the ocean waves silently. Only when his head turns in my direction with that knowing smile on his face, it's gone and I have to scowl. Not so normal after all.

"Maybe I could actually like you if you weren't so…so…" I trail away, thinking for the correct word, the perfect insult to say to him.

"So…?" he says, staring at me expectantly, amusingly.

"So…" I dig through my brain for a word that actually suits Finnick as an insult. "_Perfect._" The word isn't particularly an insult but my nasty tone is enough to make it like one. Most of the time when I think about it and really look at him, I'm reminded of how many Capitol girls actually _touched_ that body and I feel sickened. He's so perfect. So perfect that it overwhelms me.

Of course the radiant Finnick Odair doesn't get offended. No one can break him or get him angry. That's what's strange about him. He blinks slowly at me and says, "Thank you." His tone is playful but his eyes flicker oddly. I'm not sure…was that hurt? Whatever I saw, it's vanished now.

Unexpectedly Finnick points upward, towards the sky. I think it's a trick but I look up anyway because my curiosity gets the best of me. Stars are all I see. The fake Capitol stars, flying brightly in the sky. Wait. They _are_ literally flying. They're moving. I should still be angry with Finnick but not even that strong emotion can change the warm feeling that's wrapped itself around my heart at the beautiful sight. The sky is enormous, with its dark deep blue colors, and the stars flowing steadily and rhythmically endlessly throughout its vast being.

"I know they're fake," Finnick says, "but they're as close to real as they can get."

I allow myself to smile, watching the stars move slowly in unison in such bright glows. These are artificial stars though they sure are wonderful. I bring my head down to look over at Finnick. His eyes are stuck to the sky, head tilted slightly upward. I gaze at him for a moment.

_Why…?_ I want to ask him. Ask him why he's showing me this.

Then a slow smile pulls at the corners of his lips. It's not one of those famous smiles. It's actually, for once, a genuine smile.

Then…I decide that he's insoluble.

**To be continued…**

_This chapter was shorter than the last one, but I hope that's not a problem. Some chapters will be long, some will not. Anyway, thanks for reading and I love your reviews! You all are wondrous!_


	10. Embers

**Chapter 10**

**Embers**

**Update: 2/7/2014**

"I'm going to hunt." I say. I'm not even hungry but I need something in my mouth. It's in the middle of the afternoon, the sun shining brightly in the sky, burning us all up.

Peeta offers to go with me and I let him. I need to get away from the others for a bit and just be alone with Peeta.

"Watch out for the Careers." Seeder warns us. She's sitting on the ground with her back up against a tree, sweat seeping through the pours on her forehead. She's not the only one feeling hot.

I give her a curt nod of acknowledgement, summoning my own waters from my skin. I'm about to go but Finnick catches my shoulder. I turn my head toward him with a confused eyebrow.

The sun's bright, yellow light bounces off his bronze colored hair making it sparkle under its rays. Even when he's sweating, like the rest of us, he looks beautiful. "Be careful." He warns seriously. I stare at him for a moment, searching his face for something. He stares right back at me, expectantly, with those alluring sea green eyes.

Normally, I would consider yanking my arm away and slapping him across the face. Though I decide not to, because I wouldn't want to ruin his pretty face. I nod curtly and he releases me shoulder. Then he goes back over to Mags like nothing ever happened.

That was odd.

"Hey," Peeta's at my side. "What was that?" he asks, referring to me and Finnick.

"He was just looking out for us…" I say slowly, my mind trying to figure out Finnick's strange behavior. He was acting weird last night too when we watched the flying stars together. I can't say we've really connected to the point where I can genuinely call him a _friend_. No. I still see him as the Capitol's charmer but I think our relationship improved slightly. At least we don't want to kill each other anymore.

Peeta follows me as I push through the large bushes and vines. Once we've reached a good enough distance from everyone else, I begin to walk quietly. Peeta's still loud of course, his feet shuffling against the jungle floor. He'll wake the whole jungle with that ruckus. I pause to turn around to look at him. Somehow his arm got tangled up in vines. He's trying to pull his arm out with panicky movements. I sigh and roll my eyes as I go over to help. Easily I untangle his arm.

"Can you at least try to be silent?" I ask, trying to hold in my smile.

"Sorry." Peeta murmurs in embarrassment, scratching the back of his head.

Sometimes Peeta can be really cute when he's not trying to be. And I don't know, I just feel like I've got to kiss him when he does. And I do, right on the mouth. We stay still for a few seconds, lips pressed together, holding each other's hands, letting the jungle's sounds fill our ears. Suddenly it's not Peeta I'm kissing but Finnick instead and I have to pull away in surprise.

"I should be less silent more often." Peeta says in amusement. Peeta. No Finnick. Just my imagination.

I laugh nervously to mask my awkward expression.

_What was that…?_ I think, as we traipse a bit more through the jungle. Peeta's not as silent as I hoped but he's not as loud as he was before. Why would Finnick pop to my mind? I must be going crazy already. It must be the humid, warm air that's causing me to have hallucinations. Yeah. That has to be it.

I halt, raising my hand at Peeta. He stops too. The jungle is motionless for a few heartbeats…then I hear it. The rustling sound of an animal in the bushes. The bushes in front of us are swaying for a few moments. Then, a small rodent pokes its head out. It doesn't see me or Peeta because it ventures out of the safety of the bushes to gaze around curiously. I tilt my head slightly to get a better look at the creature. The animal is a dark blackish color and its body is unusually long, like as long as a full grown domestic cat. A line of white goes across its chest and it has four stubby legs.

I'm used to seeing rabbits and squirrels back in the woods at District 12, but this animal is new to me. Whatever it is, I'm going to take its life out of respect. I quietly draw an arrow from its sheath and position myself to shoot the animal. The small animal moves toward a tree and pauses to sniff the air curiously. Before it has time to figure us out, I let the arrow go. The animal falls instantly when the arrow pierces its ribcage. I make my over to the small creature with Peeta trailing behind me. Now we can get a better look at it. There's several long whiskers poking out from its muzzle, a small black nose that's flaky, small rounded ears at the ends, and a bushy tail that's at least six inches in length.

"What is it?" I ask curiously. I see the animal open its mouth, revealing a mouth full of sharp teeth, before letting out its last breath of life. Dead.

"Hmm…" Peeta peers at it with concentrated eyes. "It might be a Tasmanian devil."

"A Tas-whatta devil?"

"Tasmanian devil," he repeats. "Never heard of them?"

"No, but if it's a devil then it must be evil." I reply as I pull the arrow out of its body that killed it. Blood squirts out of its wound and I jump out of the way just in time before it gets on my face.

"Not particularly evil," Peeta says as I grab the animal by its scruff. "It's just a carnivore."

"Could've guessed that by those teeth," I say as I wrap it up in some vines to keep other animals from finding it. When I'm done, I turn to Peeta. "Let's catch a few more and then we'll head back."

When Peeta and I return, we had only caught two of those Tasmanian devil creatures and that's all. Finnick is leaning his back against a tree with Seeder propped up against it in a sitting position. Mags is sitting as she messes around with some rocks in her hand.

I drop the two dead animals in the center of the clearing. "Dinner." I say.

"What are they?" Finnick asks, gazing at the animals oddly. He peers at them closely. "They look like meerkats."

"But meerkats don't have black fur," Seeder points out. "They're usually brown in color."

Peeta shakes his head at both of them. "They're Tasmanian devils. See the whiskers and the bushy tail?" he gestures with his hand. "Meerkats don't have bushy tails and they aren't black like Seeder said." He nods to Seeder.

"Whatever. Doesn't matter what they are. Let's just eat." I say.

**(o)(o)(o)**

Tonight, there are no faces in the sky, which means there were no deaths. This can't be good for us. People will want action and the Gamemakers will probably try to push the tributes together. Finnick offers to take the first watch. No one protests as they get comfortable in their spots. I guess we all kind of trust each other a bit more by now. I curl up next to Peeta, encasing him in my arms.

"Keep the nightmares away, okay?" I murmur, holding him close to me, our faces close together.

Peeta smiles. "If you keep them away from me." He says.

"Deal." I say and kiss him on the cheek. I don't know how I truly feel about Peeta, only that he's one of the most important people to me, and the only important person here in the arena. As I get comfortable next to my fiancé, I feel that we are being watched. When I lift my head a little, I look through the trees for any signs of enemy tributes. No one. Satisfied, I begin to rest my head back down, not before catching Finnick's eye.

I pause, watching those sea green eyes watch me. We stare at each other for a long time. I don't know why I'm staring at him or why he's staring at me, but it's hard to look away. Only when he breaks the gaze first, I'm pulled out of my trance. I rest my head back down next to Peeta's, sighing through my nose.

"You okay?" Peeta asks me.

"Fine." I reply.

Now it's his turn to kiss my cheek. I smile as I close my eyes, thinking about Finnick's peculiar deportment. My mind isn't accompanied by nightmares tonight. I dream of frolic dreams of Gale. We're hunting in the woods again, setting up snares, like we use to. We're both happy, without a care in a world. And then, Gale is suddenly gone, and he's replaced by this beautiful man. Not even a person without eyes can feel his radiance and elegance. Finnick Odair.

I'm awakened by the smell of this stinging scent in the air. Whatever it is that hits my nostrils is absolutely unbearable. I push my face into the crook of Peeta's neck to block out the smell. But when I inhale I get a strong whiff of the scent coming off of Peeta's neck. That scent is familiar.

Smoke.

My eyes pop open instantly. I don't know how I didn't hear it at first upon smelling it but I should've. Why wasn't anyone keeping watch? Then I remember that I was the last on duty and had drifted off to sleep at some point. There in the distance is a swarm of fire heading in every direction, spreading rapidly. The flames hungrily tear into each and every plant life it comes across only leaving the dark blackness of burnt debris behind. The smoky scent is getting stronger the closer it gets to us.

Every second I waste, the closer the fire gets, so I immediately arouse my group. Questions run through my mind wildly. How did the fire start? When did it start? Was it the Gamemakers or a foolish tribute's doings? Back in the previous games, I recall a girl starting a fire in the middle of the night but it wasn't the flames that killed her, it was the flames that attracted enemy tributes to kill her.

Everyone's up now and on their feet.

Finnick quickly throws his net over his shoulder and hosts Mags up onto his back. Peeta comes to my side, shakily, as Seeder gathers her things as hurriedly as possible. In moments, we're running through the jungle. I'm in the lead, thrusting through the vegetation wildly. I don't care that my face is getting scratched up by branches and thorns that are perfectly sticking out for me. The fire is getting closer, the smoke filling my nostrils strongly. My eyes are watering now and I turn back to make sure the others have caught up with my fast movements. They're there; Peeta and Seeder tailing me with Finnick lingering in the back with Mags.

_Not good. Not good!_

My legs pump faster, each movement taking so much energy out of me that I hardly even realize. The adrenaline coursing my veins has given me more energy than I need to tear through the jungle. Where are we going? I don't know. Where's the river? We should be heading in the right direction. _Is_ this the right direction? I don't know. I don't know anymore. The smoke has filled me up so much that I can't think straight and I break into a fit of coughing.

Before long the fire has surrounded us whole and when I turn back, I see the others but I realize that someone's missing. It's so smoky ─ foggy like ─ that I can barely see. Peeta's gone. Instantly my stomach twists in uncomfortable knots and I stop running altogether.

"Peeta!" I scream, searching around frantically.

Seeder stops beside me, coughing into her arm. "He was here one moment then gone the next!"

"Peeta!" I scream again. There is no sign of my fiancé in the area.

Only the sounds of flames respond to my call. But then I hear him. He's calling my name and he sounds desperate. My duty is the keep Peeta alive. He's the one who's going to win the games and I'll do everything in my power to make sure that happens. My feet take me away from the others in a matter of heartbeats. I hear Finnick calling me back. A voice inside me tells me to keep going. Get Peeta. Don't stop. Forget the others. They'll find their own way out. Peeta has to live even if it means risking my own life and theirs.

I run through the flames, feeling my face burning up from the heat of the fire. I leap over a fallen, burning tree without a seconds thought. My legs moved so quickly through the fire that the flames were too slow to catch. Blazing vines fall from where they once hanged on the trees and I dodge those too. Then comes Peeta's voice again calling to me. He's not far now. I'm almost there.

Another sound catches my attention other than the pounding of my feet against the jungle floor. Before I have time to register, a tree lit with flames comes falling down, right towards me. I don't have time to move…but _he_ does. A strong body rams into me and I fall to the ground away from the fire lit tree. Pain shoots through my side and shoulder from where I had fallen. Then an earsplitting scream fills the air. I'm on my feet instantly, trying to ignore the pain in my shoulder.

The male tribute that saved me, from District 10, is trapped underneath the tree…burning alive.

I watch in horror as the flames engulf the male tribute whole. The fire extends across his upper body that wasn't trapped underneath the tree as he screams for his life. The blazing fire travels to his face and burns there until blood is revealed. His hair sizzles on his head until there is nothing left and his face becomes red with thick, gruesome blood.

_No, no, no!_

I can't help him. It's too late. But hee saved me. Why? Why? As I ponder myself with questions, my feet take me away from the dreadful scene. I want to cry for him, but I can't. The tears refuse to come. I still need to find Peeta. I try to listen out for him. Unfortunately the agonizing cries of the male tribute rings in my ears constantly. Even when I'm so far from the scene I still hear him. I know he's dead by now. It's just my mind messing with me.

The canon goes off and I know he's dead for sure, though I still hear his screams.

I want it to stop. I want the screaming to stop.

"Katniss!"

I whirl around to find Finnick standing a few feet behind me. A patch of blood matts the left side of his head as if he were hit there or had fallen. Where is Mags and Seeder?

He runs up to me quickly and grabs my arms. "Katniss, what are you doing? We have to get out of here." He exclaims.

I shake my head, pulling myself away from him. "Not without Peeta." I say, letting out a cough.

He only gives me a brusque nod. He then leads the way through the burning jungle. I follow behind him, both of us calling out to Peeta. Where could have Peeta gone so fast? Without anyone knowing? My heart is pounding rapidly in my chest and my mind is whirling with thoughts of Peeta and that tribute who saved me unexpectedly.

_Where are you?_ I demand. _Where are you, Peeta?_

A canon goes off.

My first thought is Peeta. I try to convince myself that, that couldn't have been his canon, but a voice inside me tells me that it's a great possibility.

"There!" Finnick booms suddenly. I follow in his footsteps until we reach a body. Peeta's body. My heart nearly stops at the sight of him. He is lying on the ground, on his back, with his eyes closed. Other than the minor cuts on his face, he seems unharmed.

I kneel next to Peeta's body, my knees shaking. Finnick comes to my side and presses his ear to Peeta's to chest. Then he pulls away. "He's unconscious." He says as he begins to lift Peeta's limp body. I help him position Peeta onto his back. Then we're running through the dreaded, burning jungle again, and avoiding the flames as best we can.

I'm suddenly feeling dizzy after a while. I've inhaled too much smoke. The next thing I know, I'm on the ground, flat on my face and stomach, struggling for air. Only heavy smoke fills me up, tormenting my nose and going straight to my brain. I look up at Finnick who's turned back for me. He's sweating, muscles tense and alert. He seems to be running out of strength but his eyes are filled with determination.

"Come on, Katniss," He urges. "Don't give up."

I swallow hard. "I can't…I can't. Go…take Peeta," My voice is so weak and feeble I don't know if he hears me. "Just take Peeta…Leave me."

Finnick's eyes burn into mine, almost as strong as the flames. "No. I _can't_ leave you here." he says in a low tone. He speaks as if he utterly cannot leave me. A branch covered in fire falls so close behind him that he flinches.

"Please…" I plead. Why is he not listening to me? Why won't he go already? Can't he see that I don't mind dying here? Can't he understand that I value Peeta's life more than my own? "Peata has to live…he has to live…." I moan.

"And so do you," Finnick hisses in my ear. A hand wraps around my arm. "Come on. I'll drag you if I have to."

With the help of Finnick pulling me, I manage to get to my feet. I take in short breaths in order to keep from breathing in so much smoke. Finnick begins to lead the way again through the burning jungle. My eyes want to close and I want to stop running. I can't stop yet. Not again. I'm able to push myself to keep running despite the pain, despite the smoke, despite the fatigue.

Running. Running. We keep running. And running…

Stopping.

We've reached the beach. We collapse onto the warm sand, on our backs, panting. I lay there, staring up at the sky, listening to the jungle burn to the ground. The last thing I see is a fluffy cloud shaped as a flower before I fall unconscious.

**To be continued…**


	11. Downpour

**Chapter 11**

**Downpour**

**Last Update: 2/10/2014**

Salty fish. My nose takes in a salty fish scent. I enjoy the smell because it reminds me of the beach. Then I hear the waves lapping against the shore. It's music to my ears. Much better than the sound of burning branches, falling trees, and screaming tributes. Another sound welcomes me. Voices. Voices that belong to familiar people. My eyes flutter open. I see a few clouds hovering through the sky over head, the sun just going past the center of the sky. The sun's so bright that I have to look away.

My eyes meet Peeta's and I smile.

"Hey." I yawn.

"Hey," He says in return. He's positioned on his side, next to me. "Welcome back." He pulls me into a warm embrace. I sigh through my nose in relief as I slink my arms around his waist. When we pull away, Peeta calls over his shoulder for the others. Soon after, several feet hurry over. I see that it's Finnick and Seeder.

"How are you feeling?" Seeder asks gently, kneeling beside me.

"Fine, I think." I say as I sit up slowly. My nose isn't hurting anymore and I don't feel like I'm suffocating in smoky air. I guess a sleep did me some good. When my eyes find the jungle, I'm surprised to see that it looks complete. Fresh vegetation and trees are all looking bright and beautiful as if the fire never happened. No trace of a single burnt tree. Had I dreamt the whole thing?

Seeder must've seen my confusion because she spoke up first. "The jungle just returned to normal. We aren't sure how. We turned our backs for a second, turned back, and there it was, good as new." She says.

I only nod, still not quite sure how that was even possible.

"Well, we'll cook up some food," says Seeder, patting my arm. "Feel better." Then she goes back over to Mags who's crouched beside something. Peeta gives me a brief hug and a peck on the cheek before following Seeder.

Finnick is about to get up too but I stop him by placing a hand on top of his. He looks at me questioningly.

"What did you mean by that?" I ask.

"By what?" his tone shows his bewilderment.

"When we were back in the jungle, in the flames," I reply, glancing up at his face. "You said you _couldn't_ leave me. What did you mean by that?"

"Well…you're my ally," Finnick sighs. He props one knee up to rest his arm on. "Would you rather I'd left you?"

"Yes…I mean no. Thanks anyway." I say hastily. I know there's something he's not telling me. The tone he used when he said it. He made it seem as though he genuinely couldn't leave, like an unseen force was making him take me with him.

He tilts his head downward, eyes landing on my hand resting on top of his. I expect him to grin at me or remove my hand but he doesn't, he just stares. We don't usually make physical contact, hardly ever, not unless necessary. Maybe he's uncomfortable and wants me to move it. So I do. Instead I point at the side of his head where there's a dried up clump of blood.

"How's your head? How'd it happen?" I question.

Finnick doesn't look up as he responds, "When I came looking for you a tree branch smacked me there. It's nothing serious."

I stare at his head. Maybe he's right. I don't see a wound and he doesn't seem to pay much attention to it. Then I notice how messed up he looks. His once sleek bronze hair is messy and one side is matted against his head. His eyes look tired and he just seems very fatigue. Where did that beautiful Finnick go?

"How does it feel not being so beautiful?" I ask in a teasing manner.

Finally he looks up at me, smiling a bit. "Pretty different. I don't know how you bear it in District 12." There's that playful tone of his that I thought disappeared.

"Well, people in District 12 don't bother trying to look as pretty as you." I tease.

"_Pretty_?" He raises an eyebrow.

I roll my eyes. "It's a joke. You're handsome, not pretty."

Finnick surprises me when he leans closer to my face, his warm breath tickling my face. "If my ears aren't mistaken, I think that Katniss Everdeen just called me _handsome_." And he smiles one of those gorgeous Finnick smiles that would give any girl a heart attack.

He's so close I can smell his scent, his breath. His warm, salty scent fills my nostrils and I find myself at ease. As much as I hate to admit it, I like the way he smells. His lips are so close to mine right now and he can easily give me a peck with one quick movement. I recall him reviving me after I had drowned. His mouth was touching mine. It wasn't technically a kiss but his lips still touched mine. What would it be like to actually kiss him? He seems more willing than ever. Or maybe he's just teasing me.

Swallowing silently, I turn my head away from his. "Everyone thinks you're handsome, Finnick," I say that as casually as possible. Hopefully he doesn't hear the hint of shakiness in my voice. "The Capitol, the other tributes. Everyone."

Surprisingly he bursts out laughing, his shoulders moving up and down with each laugh. "I can't disagree with that." He says.

I join in awkwardly. My cheeks are burning red and my heart is still pounding in my chest. I know my laughter isn't at all convincing.

"Chow's on!" I hear Seeder call from across the way. I glance over to see Seeder waving us over. "Get over here you two!"

Finnick stands up first and offers me a hand. Declining his hand would be a mistake because he'd know that I'm embarrassed and I had fallen for his flirtatious trick. So I take his hand and he hauls me to my feet. He releases my hand before we both hurry over to the others who are crowded around together. Large leaves used as a substitute for plates are placed on the sand with fish and grapes.

I take a seat in between Finnick and Seeder. I notice through my peripheral vision that Peeta's confused. He's looking from me to Finnick quizzically. I pretend I don't notice as I place a grape into my mouth delicately. Even though my movements are calm, my belly is churning anxiously. What if Peeta saw us back there and thought we were…up to something? The thought scared me to death. Why though? I could easily tell Peeta that Finnick was just being Finnick and he'd quickly believe me. To my relief, Peeta shrugs his shoulders and returns to eating.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

**(o)(o)(o)**

Night is here already. I'm sitting with my back pushed up against a tree with Peeta's head resting on my shoulder. His breath comes out evenly and steadily indicating that he's in a deep slumber. Everyone else is sleep too, well except for Finnick. He had offered to keep watch. I couldn't sleep so I decided to stay up. In some way we're both keeping watch.

I pull out my Mockingjay pendant. The round symbol with the bird in the center is placed firmly on the palm of my hand, barely visible in the darkness of the jungle. I gaze down at it. The symbol of hope, is what it's known to everyone. I remember Bonnie and Twill, the District 8 refugees who told me about District 13. I still wonder if District 13 really exists. After all the years of believing its obliteration, watching the televised version of its destruction over and over again. The possibility of its existence lingers in my brain, venturing purposefully for answers. I can't be sure if there is a District 13 and if Bonnie and Twill ever made it there. Guess I'll never know now. The arena will be the ending stage of my life. Surely my death will spark the rebellion and eventually everyone will turn on the Capitol and rid Snow of his malice.

"I've always wondered where you got that from…" says Finnick suddenly. His voice his low. I glance at him. He had begun to tie knots with a small piece of a vine, expression unreadable in the dark.

"A friend gave it to me," I say. My friend Madge gave it to me as a gift. Sadly I won't ever see her again, not when this is over. "It was a gift."

"Is it real?" he asks.

"I'm not sure," I examine the pendant for a bit. "I never asked. Feels real."

Finnick scoots closer to me and I realize he's extending his hand toward me. "May I?"

I hesitate. Never have I just given someone my Mockingjay pendant just to hold, other than Cinna. It's very sacred to me and means a lot. I guess he won't try to do anything awful to it, not with me sitting here. So I place the pendant on the palm of his hand reluctantly.

He holds it up to his face to examine it closely. I watch him for a moment. He's frowning at it as if he's trying to figure something out. Then he begins to toss it up and down in his hand. "Feels heavy." He comments, watching as the pendant drops into his hand before throwing it up again.

I feel uncomfortable with him tossing it so carelessly. What if he dropped and lost it in the dirt? "Maybe it is real then," I say. "I always thought it was valuable and even considered returning it once."

"Glad you didn't do that," he says, looking at me now. "This is something that's apart of you. You wouldn't be the same without it."

"Thanks," I say. "It's like a good luck charm." No. I don't really believe that. It didn't stop the games from happening or from everything else horrible that happened to me. If not to me, then my loved ones. I'm not sure what to think of my pendant. All I know is that it's a symbol of hope. The Mockingjay.

"I won't disagree."

"I'm guessing you know a lot about that," I say, smiling. "You're your own good luck charm, Odair."

Finnick chuckles lightly. "I'm flattered," he stops tossing up the pendant and lets it rest flat on his hand with the bird facing upward. "But I don't give the luck to myself on my own. My lovely sponsors give me most of the luck." He wriggles his eyebrows at no one in particularly. At the hidden cameras somewhere. I imagine Capitol girls screaming or fainting and I have to laugh a little.

Finnick then tucks the pendant on my sleeve securely, taking his time. "When I saw you for the first time on TV for your first games, I thought you weren't going to make it out alive," he says. "You were so…small and breakable."

I tense. Should I feel offended? I have to agree though, that I wasn't going to make it out either. Everyone, the other tributes, were a lot stronger than I was. But going through training and preparation gave me some confidence in myself and strengthened me. Still though…

"But…" Finnick goes on, finishing tucking my Mockingjay away. He doesn't move away from me, just rests his elbow on his knee. "I underestimated you. You turned out to be different. Better, even."

I stare at him oddly.

"It's a compliment," he says, waving at me dismissively. "You look amazing."

I look away from him to stare down at my lap. "Thanks…" I murmur. My voice is almost inaudible, I thought he didn't hear me. I guess he did because he leans back with a satisfied look. "So do you." I add hastily. Then I want to take it back. I just complimented him. Why did I just do that? Now I know he's already grinning at me mischievously. Fortunately when I glance at him, he's not giving me one of those fabulous smiles. He actually looks genuinely surprised. Then his lips curl up into a smile. A true one.

Then, he stands up, dusting off dust particles. "Sleep tight, okay? I'll keep watch." With that he goes to sit elsewhere, onto a boulder across from me.

"Goodnight…" I whisper, before turning away from Finnick and wrapping my arms around Peeta. I hear

I tilt my head upward, through the trees, to stare up at the sky. Dark clouds are covering the once starlit sky.

Something wet falls onto my face.

_Rain._ I think to myself.

The rain begins to come down in a light drizzle. It gradually begins to pick up and get heavy. Rain falls at a quick pace, hitting the ground in low thuds. At least the trees overhead are sheltering us a bit. I pull Peeta closer to me as it begins to get cool. Finnick is frowning up at the sky but he doesn't move from his spot. He jerks his head back suddenly when a large raindrop landed square on his face.

I raise my eyebrows in amusement.

Then that expression is wiped straight from my face when a larger raindrop lands right on my leg.

_Okay…that was kind of painful_. I think, tucking my leg underneath me. I look up as another big raindrop lands on my other leg. My leg immediately pulls back, pain shooting through it. Now that one felt like a brick. This is strange. I arouse Peeta with a few shakes.

"Huh, what…?" He blinks open his eyes, glancing around for danger. When he sees none, his eyes land on me in confusion. "What is it?"

"It's raining." I reply.

A huge raindrop unexpectedly lands on Peeta's shoulder and he yelps in pain. More rain begins to fall from the sky like giant rocks, splashing onto the ground shattering like glass. Everyone's up by now, moaning in pain. Seeder stands up quickly next to me. Peeta and I scramble to our feet as well. The rain begins to fall harder and harder until our ears are filled with the sound of shattering glass. This may be rain water, but it's certainly not innocuous.

We take a few moments to grab our things before running through the darkness. We need to find shelter and fast. Finnick is in the lead with Mags hanging on his back. I'm running just a few paces in front of Peeta behind Finnick. The hard raindrops slam onto my body causing ripples of pain. It feels like someone is repeatedly slapping me. I'm drenched in water, my heart is pounding in my chest, and I wince with each slap of rain. I won't be able to take this much longer.

Suddenly Finnick runs into what I think is quicksand and begins to sink in at a rapid pace. I realize that I'm standing in this dark goo as well sinking almost as fast as Finnick and Mags. A putrid smell reaches my nose and I know that this is not any ordinary quicksand. It's a large pool of…

Dung.

I see that the others, Peeta and Seeder, are running toward us. I don't want them to get stuck too. "Wait, wait, stop!" I try to warn them, throwing up my hands. My voice is low against the thudding of the rain and I guess Peeta didn't hear me because he runs right into the pool of dung.

"Ugh!" he exclaims in disgust, falling deep into the poop.

Seeder stops at the edge of the pool, staring at us in horror.

"Seeder! Help us!" I shout at her. The dung has already reached my waist and Finnick doesn't look any better. The dung is right under his chin and Mags being on his back makes them sink a lot faster.

This isn't good.

Seeder offers to find something to pull us out. Finnick urges for her to hurry as the dung reaches his mouth and he has to shut it abruptly.

Water smashes the top of my head and I feel a headache coming on. This is a terrible situation. It's raining rocks and we're sinking in a pool of dung. I wish Seeder will hurry up. Peeta keeps squirming beside me, causing himself to drift even deeper under. I try to tell him not to move but he can't hear me over the pounding of the rain.

Seeder returns a few moments later when Finnick's entire head is up under, Mags looking fearful above him. She's holding a long, sturdy looking vine in her hands. She throws the end out to Peeta first since he's the closest. He scrambles for it quickly, managing to grab hold. Then Seeder heaves with all her might. I'm thinking Peeta's too heavy for her to pull because he hasn't moved an inch yet. But I'm wrong because Peeta's body begins to slowly ease out. Seeder grits her teeth as she pulls until Peeta's finally out.

Next Seeder goes for me. She and Peeta together easily pull me out without much effort. Then the three of us pull out Mags and Finnick. Finnick is drenched from head to toe with the dung, shaking without control. He'll live…I hope. We find ourselves running through the rain again. We don't know what we're searching for. We just run. My legs are pumping quickly and my skin is burning. I'm not sure if we're even going to make it.

Peeta collapses beside me and I have to call everyone to stop. Seeder helps me lift him. We hold him up as we run, letting his legs drag loosely behind him. Not soon after, Finnick collapses too.

"She's in pain," Finnick shouts, breathing heavily. Mags is moaning on Finnick's back, cheeks red as ever. "I can't carry her any further. We need _help_." He says weakly.

I consider carrying Mags instead.

Seeder seems to read my mind. "I can't carry Peeta by myself!" she says loudly.

Everyone's looking to me now for a solution but I don't know what to do. I am as clueless as they are. We couldn't just leave Finnick and Mags here to die, but what will we do? My mind is swirling, searching for a solution but I am unable to form one in my thick brain. I'm feeling too much pain at the moment and I'm freezing that I can't think straight. We're all going to die if I don't come up with an answer soon.

Then a miracle happens.

Two dark figures appear at Finnick's side. It's two other tributes, a male and a female. I don't recognize them in the dark and I don't care. The male pulls Mags from Finnick's back and positions her on his own back. The female lets Finnick wrap an arm around her shoulders so she can support him. Then she booms in a loud voice, "All of you, come with us!" And they turn and run. No one does not even think, we just follow like lost children.

The strange tributes take us to a cave a few moments later where we all collapse in, in relief. I lean my back against the cave wall, holding Peeta in my arms. He's shivering like he has no control over his limbs. I pull him close in hopes of warming him up. Seeder sits down next to me, teeth chattering. Finnick sits down onto my other side with Mags. We're all huddled together now for warmth.

I turn to our rescuers in gratitude. "Th-thank you." I manage to say over my chattering teeth. I'm not sure if they understood me though.

Johanna shrugs her shoulders casually. She and Blight are not shivering like the rest of us but they're soaked. "Couldn't leave you all out there to die." She says as she picks up something from the ground. It's a blanket. She comes over to drape it over me and Peeta, it's only big enough for us two. "Ew!" she exclaims suddenly, holding her nose, as she backs away from us. "God, you all reek."

Finnick lets out a strangled chuckle from beside me; or at least I think he's chuckling. It sounds more animalistic than anything, probably because he's so cold. I manage to utter my own laugh but not because of what Johanna said.

Because we survived.

**To be continued…**


	12. Amenity

**[Please read]**

_I was following along the chapter names with the first letter beginning in alphabetical order but now I changed my mind because I've already written chapters up to 24 ahead of time [I call them 'cushion chapters,' just in case I lose interest I'll still have chapters to upload and that'll give me time to get interested again] and I'm nowhere near done. So…yeah. I'm changing a few of the previous chapter names as well. I feel like this story is dragging on too long and I know you all want to see some more Finnick and Katniss action. My apologies but I really didn't want to rush their relationship, but since we're already on chapter 12, I've started to kick it up a notch. From here on out, Katniss and Finnick will become closer. Without any further words, enjoy the chapter. _

**Chapter 12**

**Amenity**

**Last Update: 2/14/2014**

"Come on, Mags! Please!"

My eyes flutter open at the sound of Finnick's voice. The light from the sun somehow found its way through a crack in the roof of the cave to shine on my face. My head is resting on someone's shoulder. I tilt my head up slowly, feeling pain with every movement. I let my gaze land on Finnick, across from me. Mags is lying flat on her back surrounded by Blight, Johanna, and Finnick. Finnick's giving her chest compressions with his hands.

"Please!" he begs.

I watch him intently. I'm instantly reminded of when I drowned and how he revived me. Is Mags dying? No, no. She can't be, right? She was fine the other night. Then I remember that Finnick said she was in pain. Of course she was. Everyone was. But when I think about it, she's a whole lot older and feeble than we are.

Finnick continues to give her chest compressions desperately until Johanna touches his arm. "I'm sorry. She's gone…" she murmurs.

With a sad sigh, Finnick leans back against the cave wall, pressing a hand to his head. The canon goes off and I clench my eyes shut. This is wrong. We lost Chaff and now we lost Mags. We can't lose anyone else. I don't know if I can bare it. I imagine Mags alive and well, making nets in the training center and eating odd grapes in the jungle. She was alive then. But now she's lying on the ground without a single breath escaping her mouth. Nothing but a lifeless, old woman who was once my friend. And this unwanted anger begins to form within me, replacing my sadness completely. I'm angry with President Snow. The one who put us in the games in the first place, using us like pawns in a chest game, making moves only by his deathly hands that lead us straight to our deaths. And I hope his next move doesn't lead one of us over a cliff or drowning in a puddle.

I nudge Peeta who's still sleeping on my lap. He opens his eyes. He doesn't have to ask what's going on because he sees Mags' body and his expression goes solemn. I get Seeder up and we all leave the cave in order to let the hovercraft come pick up Mags' body.

Finnick trudges on in the back of the group. Even his attempts at moving purposefully doesn't overcome his sluggish shoulders and slow movements. I feel really bad for him. Mags was his mentor and she was practically family to him. The once perfect, glamorous Finnick Odair is now torn to pieces unexpectedly. For once, some strange part of me ─ that I would've never surfaced until now ─ wishes for Finnick to say something mockingly. Anything to give me hope that hasn't fallen into some deep depression.

I can tell that we're all still feeling pain from last night's rainstorm. My whole body is aching and I'm still covered in dung. I think we should head back to the beach to wash this off or find a water puddle or something. The whole jungle is a lot more dense than usual and it just feels really wet, thanks to last night's rain.

The only thing that breaks this unearthly silence is the small silver parachute that comes floating down in front of Blight who's in the lead of the group. He catches the small tube before it floats to the ground. He pulls open the tube and takes a bottle out. Inside the bottle is some thick, pink liquid. When he opens it, a nice aroma reaches my nostrils.

"Strawberry soap," He says and tosses it to me. I catch it easily and examine the bottle for a moment. "Better get cleaned up." He wrinkles his nose in disgust as if doing so will block out the stink.

Then we all head to the beach where we bathe ourselves. Johanna, Blight, and Seeder stay out of the water because they are the only ones who aren't covered in sick poop. I scrub Peeta's hair with strawberry soap thoroughly. I know he can do it himself but I just want to help. Finnick's washing his own hair near us. We're not that far out in the water, so we are able to stand up with the water just reaching past our waists. We keep our jumpsuits on, because they're so tight, the dung probably didn't even get inside.

I manage to scrub Peeta's hair clean completely and when I'm done I tell him to go under. He dips his head underwater to clear out the soap. I watch as the soap foams in the water, mixing in with the waves, before floating away.

Peeta resurfaces, blowing water from his lips onto my face. "Hey!" I scoff, waving him away.

"Sorry!" he exclaims apologetically.

I splash him back.

"Okay, okay!" Peeta says, holding up his hands. Then he runs a hand through his wet hair, pulling some away from his eyes. "I'll see if I can find us a meal." He makes his way back to shore. I remember that Chaff and Seeder taught him how to catch a meal without a weapon, which is odd, and I have no idea how he'll pull that off. I shrug it off.

I begin to wash my neck with my hands as Finnick makes his way over. "Can you get my back?" he asks.

"Sure." I say. It's the least I can do since he just lost Mags. I pour a clump of soap onto my hand. Then I rub my hands together before I start scrubbing Finnick's back. I'm only scrubbing the back of his jumpsuit but I should get inside, just in case some dung got in there too. Then I think better of it. Anyone would die to touch Finnick Odair's skin and I'm one of the ones who wouldn't dare to willingly. Doesn't seem appropriate.

"Wow, that's amazing." Finnick says in satisfaction.

"They say I have magic hands," I say in a teasing manner. I let my hands leave his back abruptly after a few minutes. "You're done."

He thanks me before vanishing in the water. I shake my head as I begin to scrub my neck again. Dry particles of dung fall into the water and I grimace in disgust. When I'm done with my neck, I go to my face. Then I rinse my neck and face off. I realize that Finnick has been underwater for an unusual amount of time. No one can hold their breath that long, right? Just then, Finnick rises up in front of me, sprinkling me with water droplets.

"Don't play like that." I say, frowning at him.

"I wasn't playing," he says. "I was thinking."

"Thinking or drowning?"

"Whichever you prefer."

I roll my eyes as I begin to undo my braid. My hair is pretty hard and stiff for some reason and I'm having trouble getting it loose. Finnick's hands comes to my braid and he starts to undo it for me. I realize how close we're standing in front of each other. His familiar salty scent reaches my nose and I feel at ease for a second. When he's done I mutter awkwardly, "Thanks."

He gives me a curt nod. I notice how his expression changes quickly to a look of sadness. I know then that he's thinking about Mags. Even his attempts at being normal doesn't replace that depression that resides within him like an expanding bubble.

"I'm sorry." I whisper. Somehow I can feel his own sadness rubbing off on me. Before, I didn't like Finnick as much, and I didn't really trust him, but now I'm not so sure. He can be this regular guy when he's not teasing and being flirtatious.

He shrugs his shoulders slowly. "It was inevitable…" he murmurs. "I'm just…glad she was able to have made it this far. I didn't think she would."

To be honest, I didn't think she'd make it this far either. She managed to hold up for a long while, and in some way she was tough and in another way she wasn't.

Finnick runs a hand through his hair and lets out a low sigh. I catch sight of his eyes and I see how sad they are. I'm not sure what other words of comfort I can give him other than 'sorry.' Instead, without thinking, I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him towards me in a hug. The embrace is awkward, and I know Finnick is surprised because he hasn't returned it yet. I'm already feeling embarrassed but it's too late now. My heart thumps in my chest uncontrollably and I want to let go since Finnick doesn't seem to enjoy my form of comfort. Then, hesitantly, I feel his arms wrap around my shoulders. The hug is a bit awkward but I begin to relax after a few seconds. I feel the warmth of his body surrounding me and his wonderful aroma filling me whole.

I hear Finnick sigh and I feel his hand on my hair. I let him mess with my hair as I rest my eyes for a moment. Who knew that I would ever be in this position? Warm and safe in Finnick's strong arms, our bodies close together... _Stop, wait_. What's wrong with me? I never should've thought about this form of comfort in that way. I feel like an idiot and I want to slap myself for thinking like that. Have I finally gone insane? Didn't think it'd be this soon.

"Were you two close?" I ask him, trying to avoid my silly thoughts.

He's quiet for a moment, his hand caressing my hair. "Yeah…we were," He murmurs in a whisper. "She was always there when I needed her… You know what I mean?"

"Yes," I say, nodding my head. I unmindfully rub my hand up and down his back soothingly. Of course they were close. She was Finnick's mentor since his games, which was ten years ago. Throughout their whole decade I'm sure they developed a close bond. "I know what you mean."

Then he pulls away from me, to stare at my face seriously for once. "Thank you, Katniss." He says, hands sliding down to mine.

I nod brusquely. "Sure."

He gives my hands a squeeze before letting go. "Do you want me to get your hair?" he asks, holding up the soap.

"No, that's okay," I say. I don't want to bring any more attention to us. The cameras already saw us hugging and I don't want the people watching getting any ideas. I'm Peeta's fiancé. I take the soap from Finnick. "Thanks anyway though." Then I pour a massive amount of soap onto my hand as Finnick swims away in the water.

Many thoughts are running through my brain by now as I scrub my hair. How did I get the guts to actually hold Finnick….to hug him? I nearly freaked out when his hand brushed against mine when we were looking through a box filled with tapes that night before the private sessions. When did I become so courageous?

As I wash my hair, I watch Finnick swim around in the water flawlessly. He dips under in a split second and then resurfaces, blowing water from his lips. The sun's light makes the water droplets on his bronze hair sparkle beautifully. I decide I like the way he swims. He moves purposefully, strongly with graceful strides, and it's clear that he's been swimming his entire life. District 4 is known for its swimmers and fish, and of course he out of all people will take advantage of that luxury. I watch as he gets farther away from me and then I turn away.

My hair is lathered in as much soap as possible now and I scratched my scalp clean enough. I inhale sharply and disappear underwater. I stay under for a short time, letting all of the soap rinse away from my hair. Then I resurface, to find Finnick standing directly in front of me. I jump in surprise.

"What are you doing?" I demand, feeling upset that he snuck up on me.

"Swimming," He says casually, before falling onto his back and swimming backward. "Say, where did you learn to swim anyway?"

"There's a…" I trail away. _There's a lake back in the woods where Gale and I hunt_, is what I was going to say. Not sure if it's a good idea to mention that, not with the cameras watching. What if _they_ decide to hurt Gale or something? "Er…I'm a fast learner." I say hastily.

"You must be," he says. "From what I seen, you looked like you've known how to swim for quite some time."

I frown. Not sure how I'm going to get myself out of this one. I decide to not comment at all as I begin to wash my arms.

Finnick moves back toward me and pauses. "Want to see who's the fastest?"

"You're challenging me?" I'm surprised because doesn't that seem a bit…well…childish? "Like a race?"

"Why not?" Finnick turns to me, staring at me with those alluring sea green eyes. "If you drown, I'll be more than happy to revive you. You know, mouth to mouth," He cocks his head until his lips are close to mine. "_Lips to lips_…"

I tense up immediately but I don't move away. He's closer than expected. Finnick can be very obnoxious. It annoys me when he always seems to make me uncomfortable. I'm not that common, squealing Capitol girl. They'd be envious of me right now, wishing to be in my position. They can only dream of having Finnick Odair as an ally, let alone having him _this_ close. And I wish I were them, wish I were in a dream. Even though he's being playful and a tease, he's not really feeling jovial. I can tell that he's trying to hide his true emotions. There's no doubt that he's still upset about Mags. She was his mentor after all, like family to him. I can't imagine ever losing Haymitch. He's like family to me.

"How are you able to do that?" I question.

Finnick cocks an eyebrow, moving away from my face a bit, but he's still close enough to make my face tingle from his breath. "I'm not sure I follow…" he says slowly, genuinely confused.

"You…well…" I'm not even sure how to put this. Not a moment ago he was upset about Mags and now it's like his whole demeanor completely changed. I think I asked him this question before though, when Chaff was around. He told me something like focusing on something that's important. I still don't know what's more important to him than his own life. "Never mind." I mutter, shaking my head, continuing to wash my arms.

Finnick stares at me quizzically for a few seconds, trying to figure something out, and then he shakes his own head.

"You're just different." I say.

"Hm?"

"You're different than all the others," I murmur. "You're like a riddle that doesn't have a solution and I can never figure out _what_ you're thinking. You seem to have a diverse personality and I guess that's what keeps me interested in you."

Finnick's quiet for a few seconds, letting my words sink in, staring upward thoughtfully. Then he turns back to me a minute later to say, "You're interested in me?"

My mind buzzes randomly. I didn't say that, did I? Yes, I did. _Oh ─ dammit!_ I didn't mean to have said that. Now how am I going to get myself out of this situation? When I open my mouth no words come out other than a dumb, "Huh?" as if I didn't hear what he said.

Finnick stares at me in amusement. "It's okay, Katniss," he says. _At least he's not being playful._ "I know what you mean."

My belly is fluttering with butterflies and I'm stupid for blushing. I can't believe I just told him that I was interested in him. How can I be intrigued by Finnick Odair? The words came on their own, I had no control over them. Now I've given him some ideas to try and tease me some more about it. But he says he knows what I mean, so I guess it's alright? No. He says he knows what I _mean_. Then he knows _precisely_ what I mean. I nearly sigh in relief when Finnick changes the subject.

"How about that race?"

**(o)(o)(o)**

I reach the shore when Peeta returns from the forest with one of those Tasmanian devil animals. This one is a lot longer and thinner than the two we caught ─ well, I caught ─ the other day. Peeta drops the animal in front of Seeder and Johanna's sitting forms. Blight was away from us, doing some activity in the sand. I settle down beside Peeta as I glance back over at the water. Finnick was still swimming around in there by himself, diving under and resurfacing. I watch him for a moment, silently, until Johanna nudges my shoulder.

"What?" I ask.

"Oh, nothing." She says, giving me a knowing look.

I roll my eyes at her.

Finnick and Blight come over eventually by time we're ready to chow down. As we eat, we share the canteen of water, passing it around to each other. By time it reaches me for the third time, there's only a swallow left.

_We'll have to go back to the river._ I think. Dreadful thoughts sneak up into my mind of me tumbling and slamming against the force field and I shudder.

"What are we going to do? About them?" Peeta asks me quietly, nodding towards Johanna and Blight.

"If Finnick trusts them then I guess they're our new allies," I reply. Since when did I start trusting Finnick anyway? "And they did save us." I add hastily as to not give Peeta any reason to get suspicious.

He only nods.

When everyone's done eating, I suggest we head over to the river to gather more water. I wouldn't want to go into another state of near dehydration again. Everyone stands up, gathers their things, and we set out into the jungle again. The jungle is a lot peaceful now, nothing compared to the loudness of the fire that broke out. There is absolutely no trace of embers in the jungle. The trees are greener than ever, sparkling brightly against the sun's light and the air is as humid and dense as usual. I'm not sure how the Gamemakers were able to pull that off. An image of that tribute burning alive enters my mind. I see the fire catching onto his body and travelling to his head as he screams agonizingly. I push the thoughts away.

I try to think of something else. I hope that the cameras didn't think my form of comfort to Finnick was nothing more than that. So far nothing bad has happened to me though so that means I'm safe, right?

**To be continued…**

_Your reviews are greatly appreciated! _


	13. Consort

**Chapter 13**

**Consort**

**Update: 2/17/2014**

I breathe out through my mouth, letting my air escape freely into the atmosphere. That was more like a sigh than just an exhale. My arms tighten around my body for warmth. Strange how in the day the dense and humid air can change so quickly to cold and chilling during the night. Some warmness comes from the body heat of the other four bodies sleeping around me, but that's not even enough. Blight's snoring is pretty loud to my annoyance. Not sure how Johanna was able to cope with him this long without having the urge to slice his throat in his sleep to get him to shut up. Peeta's sleeping next to me, breathing quietly. It was difficult for me to sleep so I took over his shift early and he went out like a light.

The jungle is silent tonight, other than Blight's rough snoring. I only hear the quiet ringing in my ears of utter silence. If it weren't for Blight, I'd be uncomfortable in the eerie soundlessness of the dark jungle. At least I'll most likely hear enemy tributes approaching before they get too close. If that were to happen, my bow and sheath of arrows are right beside me, along with my knife.

After sitting there for some time, only my thoughts accompanying me, I hear mumbling a few feet away from me. My eyes land on the figure fidgeting beside Johanna. He lay on his side, barely brushing Johanna's sleeping form, with his head resting on a pile of moss that's a substitute for a pillow. His eyes are clenched shut tight as if he's fighting off a nightmare with his arms folded over his strong chest.

I strain my ears. Finnick muffles something in his slumber. I'm not quite sure but I think he said a name. I wait for him to say more. Then he mumbles the name again.

_What did he say? Ally?_ I think. _No, no. He said Annie. _ But who's Annie?

The name rings a bell. I begin to search through the many files in my brain for anything associated with that name. Annie. Annie. Who is Annie? Ultimately I give up searching through my messy mind but the name still sticks in my head, tormenting me, trying to get me to remember.

Annie.

Annie Crystal…? No. It was Annie Cresta. Now I remember. I can remember her full name but I have no idea who she is to Finnick. They come from the same District 4, far I as know, but that's it. I really don't know much about her or any of Finnick's relationships for that matter.

The next day in the afternoon, my group and I are taking a break in the jungle after traveling for a long while. We didn't have a sought out destination in mind, we were just walking aimlessly in hopes of running into other tributes. I'm not even sure how many of us are left. I know the Careers are still up and about. We haven't seen them since the bloodbath when Gloss tried to choke me to death underwater. I still feel a slight pain in my neck from the incident when I think about it.

While everyone settles down, I offer to go hunt. Whatever gave me the courage to trust these people with Peeta is a mystery to me. Finnick offers to come with me and I don't protest. As the two of us walk silently through the vast jungle, my thoughts travel to last night when Finnick kept mumbling Annie Cresta's name in his sleep. I consider asking him who she is to him, but something loud and excruciating enters my ears that causes me to stop in my tracks abruptly.

The sounds are loud and earsplitting. They come from directions that I cannot pinpoint and I wouldn't want to. They sound like screaming people but their voices are muffled by one another that makes them all sound inhuman.

"What is that?" I shout to Finnick, hoping he has an answer.

But he's staring at me strangely, head tilt to the side slightly. "What?" his voice is utterly confused.

The screeching gets louder.

"That…that!" I exclaim. "Don't you hear _that_?" I don't even know if he can _hear_ me.

I feel wetness running down my ears. I place my fingers to my ear and return them to my face. Blood is lathered over my fingers. I look to Finnick and his expression is still bewildered. As the screeching gets even louder, I cover my ears with my hands and fall to my knees. I can feel my eardrums thumping like heartbeats and the pain seeps through them nonstop.

Finnick crouches down in front of me. I see his lips moving but I can't hear what he's saying. The screeching is so loud. So many people are screaming in pain at once. Why are they screaming? What do they want from me? My ears are throbbing now and I can feel the blood coming in between my fingers to run down my arms and drip onto the ground below me. Then I feel brawny arms wrap around me; Finnick's arms. His arms go around my shoulders and fold my back as he pulls me to him. He just holds me as the screeching pounds my ears.

Many people are screaming for their lives. I imagine them burning alive in the depths of the jungle but there is no fire. The fire long surpassed. Whatever is happening to them, they want my help. I can't help them. Don't they understand? I grip the back of Finnick's jumpsuit and squeeze tightly, thinking this will stop all the sounds. Maybe the screams are forming words, I don't know. I don't know what they're saying if they are. As the sounds around me begin to gradually grow quieter and quieter, I know I'm going deaf now. I've lost too much blood already.

Then the whole jungle goes still. I can't hear anything, not even through the ear the Capitol doctors fixed. I can only feel and smell. My eyes are shut tight, my fingers are digging into Finnick's jumpsuit, my heart is hammering in my chest, the blood still oozing out of my ears. The scent of salt water, Finnick's warm arms embracing me, his chin resting on top of my head, the pain…

Then stillness.

Even as the sounds of the jungle begin to fill my ears again, I don't open my eyes. I wouldn't dare to. Images of dead bodies surrounding me fill my mind. All those people who were screaming for me are probably spread out all around me as if their bodies just fell from the sky. So I sit there, legs folded underneath me, holding onto Finnick who's still holding onto me. I breathe out raspy breaths through my mouth so I won't smell the stench of the dead.

Then Finnick speaks. "Katniss?" his voice is low and soft, like he's speaking to an injured person.

Some courage that I have left helps me ─ maybe just hearing his voice ─ open my eyes. I'm surprised to see that there are no bodies lying around like I expected. Just me and Finnick.

"You didn't…" my voice comes out shaky. I clear my throat to speak more clearly. "You didn't hear them?"

"No." Finnick says.

"You didn't?" I say. They were so loud, how could he have not heard them?

I feel him shake his head. "What did you hear?"

"They were screaming people. So many of them…" I murmur. I realize that I'm still gripping his back tightly. Not wanting to hurt him involuntarily anymore, I let my grip loosen a bit but I don't release the embrace.

I hear him sigh quietly relief before saying slowly, "I didn't really hear anything, Katniss..."

Great. He probably thinks I'm crazy now. The Girl on Fire has ultimately become insane. There's no other explanation for it. "How come…how come I was only able to hear them?" I ask cautiously. Maybe because I _am_ insane. Well, I don't think my ears are bleeding anymore, or if they were ever bleeding at all in the first place. It was my unstable mind that did it.

"Must've been some trick the Gamemakers did to only allow you to hear it," Finnick says quietly. "They always have something new to test out."

"Maybe you're right." I snort. At least I know he doesn't think I'm crazy.

Finnick doesn't say anything else. We stay holding each other for a few more moments in silence, letting the sounds of our breathing and the jungle fill our ears. I feel myself growing comfortable in this position, with Finnick's arms around me and mine around him. This is different from yesterday. Yesterday I was comforting him but now he's comforting me, I think.

This is nice. Maybe I can actually grow to like Finnick. We can be friends at least, I can go as far as that instead of frenemies. Or perhaps I shouldn't get any closer to Finnick. The Gamemakers probably think we're getting too close and that's why they attempted to break my eardrums. I sigh through my nose. What am I going to do now? They might have something else up their sleeve, just waiting for me to run around the corner and there waiting for me is a pack of mutts. I have to be more cautious from now on.

For now, there's a question nagging at the back of my mind.

"Who's Annie…?" I ask suddenly. I feel Finnick stiffen at the name. "You were murmuring her name in your sleep. What happened to her?"

Finnick's quiet for a long time than usual, that I think I made a mistake asking the question. But he answers after a few long moments. "Nothing happened to her," he says in a low voice. "She's a…close friend of mine."

"Oh," I say in realization. I think I remember. She was the one who went mad in the 70th Hunger Games after her District partner got decapitated. I can see how Finnick would know her; they come from the same District. "She must be really important to you…" I say.

"Yeah…"

I pull away from Finnick slightly to stare at his face, his hands slide down my back until his touch leaves me completely. After hearing all that screaming, despite knowing it was just a trick, I quiver uncomfortably. Finnick's lustrous sea, green eyes stare back into mine steadily. My own eyes travel his face; the smooth skin on his cheeks, his perfect jawline, and his kissable lips. When I place my hand on his cheek, he closes his eyes and leans into my hand slightly. Warm and smooth, his cheek is against my hand. I really don't know what brought me to touch his face but he doesn't seem to mind.

A few seconds of silence later, Finnick gets up first, offering me his hand. I take his hand gratefully and he hauls me to my feet. When I'm up, he starts to let go, but I squeeze his hand involuntarily. He looks at me. Then immediately my cheeks flush and I release his hand. Butterflies are fluttering in my belly now after the short moment we just hand. Why did I just do that?

"Are you okay?" he asks me, genuinely concerned.

I think I like this Finnick better; when he's not flirting with me. "Fine." I say curtly. My burning cheeks say otherwise. Finnick doesn't seem to notice and if he does, he doesn't point it out.

We trek through the jungle in search of prey. I'm still expecting to hear sudden screeches in the wind for some reason. They sounded so real before, so who's to say it isn't going to happen again? If Finnick's right about the Gamemakers trying a new trick, then why test it out on me? Well I should know that answer. I'm Katniss Everdeen. Snow hates me. The whole of Panem probably has rising suspicions of me. Maybe that was a warning for me, to stay away from Finnick. But they can't actually think that I…that we…genuinely have feelings for each other? I don't even _like_ Finnick…I think.

I glance at the male who's walking a few steps in front of me. The way he walks, each stride casual and purposeful and seemingly flawless. I can see his muscles bulging from his jumpsuit, along his arms and along his back. His smooth tanned skin on his neck and that bronze hair that appears to shine under the sun's rays. I decide that I like the way he walks. Then unexpectedly I bump into him. I guess I had been too caught up in staring at him that I hadn't realize that he stopped walking.

"Sorr─" I start.

He holds up a hand, cutting my apology short. He stands rigid, muscles tense and alert. I peer around him to see what he's gazing at. The bushes, about ten feet away from us, are rustling slightly. Then in an instant a fluffy white rabbit darts out and heads toward a hollow hole in a tree. Before it can even dive into the hole, my arrow has already embedded itself into the rabbit's torso and the animal collapses to the ground, sliding across the dirt.

"Nice shot." Finnick comments.

I smile at him.

Once we've hidden that rabbit to gather later, we head a little farther into the jungle. It's not long when we come across another rabbit. This one is brown in color compared to the white one we caught earlier. I pull an arrow from my sheath and take aim on the rabbit. It has its back to us as it rummages through a bush with its head. Right before I release the arrow, I pause. Then I have an idea. I hand the bow and arrow to Finnick.

He glances at me in bafflement. "Me?" he asks quietly.

I nod. "Go on." I say.

He takes the bow and arrow from me confidently and gets into position. I shake my head when I see that he's not holding it right. I move closer to him silently as to not alert the rabbit. I begin to put his hands in the right places in a swift movement. Then I make a few adjustments to his posture, keeping a close eye on the rabbit who still seems busy. I feel with my hand on his arm, feeling how stiff he is.

"Relax…" I murmur in his ear. That's when I notice how close we're standing next to each other. I can feel him relax his shoulders a bit. "Breathe," I say. He inhales. "Now shoot." And he does. The arrow pierces the animal's body, in the back, before it even has time to squeal.

I'm impressed. "You catch on fast, Odair." I say.

Finnick chuckles, looking over his shoulder at me. "You aren't the only fast learner, Everdeen." He says.

I meet his beautiful eyes and almost instantly I'm lost in them. Somehow his eyes seem to have cast a spell on me and I'm unable to move away from him. And…did our faces just get closer? I inhale his scent softly, taking in his wonderful salty aroma.

"Katniss…?" Finnick murmurs softly.

I swallow hard. "Hm?"

"Tell me…" he says gently, staring at me closely. "…does this make us more than just allies now?"

Normally I'd scowl at his playfulness but this time I just smile. "Friends," I say abruptly, moving my face away from his, my cheeks flushing. He looks genuinely surprised at my answer. Then he suddenly smiles, a real one. "Yeah…" I repeat. "This makes us friends now."

**(o)(o)(o)**

When Finnick and I return back to the others, I bring back two dead rabbits with me. As we feast on the food, I recall earlier when me and Finnick embraced each other. I believe we bonded well after the incident and I'm grateful. Finnick's not that cocky pretty boy I assumed when he's not trying to tease or flirt with me. He can be a pretty cool guy.

We're all on the move again, trekking through the jungle aimlessly.

"Why don't we get a view of the arena?" Seeder suggests.

"Good idea." I say. I'm prepared to climb a tree but Johanna stops me.

"Wait," Johanna says. "There's a hill in this direction. You can practically see everything from there." She points in some direction.

I agree. As we continue through the jungle, I lead the way, cutting through the vegetation with Chaff's machete. I'm not comfortable using his weapon knowing that he's dead now but I don't want to use my knife. The sound of crackling enters my ears. I ignore it, assuming it's just everyone's loud footsteps, as I keep moving forward. The crackling sound comes again. I pause. I don't have the time to move when a large tree begins to topple over. My mind flashes to when the jungle was burning down and that tribute pushed me out of the way and died in my place. But he's not here to save me this time. Finnick is though. He tackles me to the ground away from the tree with so much force the wind is knocked out of me.

I lay on my back as Finnick lays flat on top of me. I watch as the tree collapses to the ground near us with a loud crash. My heart is beating rapidly in my chest and I wonder if the Gamemakers are seriously trying to kill me. Isn't this what I wanted? Yes, it is. I don't want to die yet though. I can't die, not until Peeta and I are the last two tributes.

"Are you okay?" Finnick asks me, his breath tickling my face.

"I think so." I say.

He stands up and offers me his hand. I take his hand and he hauls me to my feet as the others make their way over the tree. Peeta's eyes are filled with relief when he sees me.

"That tree nearly flattened you." Peeta says as he hugs me.

"I'm okay." I say returning his hug.

Finnick looks away from us as if he can't stand the sight of us hugging.

_Weird._

Johanna props a hand on her hip. "You might want to be more careful, okay?" she says to me flatly. "You wouldn't want to crush your baby."

I narrow my eyes. I completely forgot about the pregnant fraud. I kind of assumed if I forgot about it, everyone else did too, even the people watching. Guess I was wrong.

I turn to Seeder, who's staring at me with her mouth agape. Her eyes are frozen and her body is very still. She's standing a few feet away from everyone else, still as a statue. "Are you okay?" I ask her.

Then her body falls forward, revealing the knife wedged deep in her spine.

**To be continued…**


	14. Nocturnal

**Chapter 14 **

**Nocturnal **

**Update: 2/21/2014**

The canon booms.

As soon as Seeder's body hits the ground, I see the large figure of Gloss standing a few feet where her body is. One by one, the rest of the Careers emerge from the trees, weapons ready. I waste no time in whipping out my bow and shooting at Gloss. He slips to the side, easily dodging the arrow, as he charges toward me at full speed. He's there at the speed of light and tackles me to the ground. Everyone explodes into battle all around me.

I fall flat on my back with Gloss on top of me. He brings his knife down towards my face. I wrap my hands around his wrist and try to hold him at bay. Unfortunately, he overpowers me, the knife inching closer to my face. I can feel my arms begin to slowly give out. I cry out as the knife's point comes at least one inch from my nose. A contorted look is plastered on Gloss's face, glad knowing that he's beating me. I manage to bring my knee up and get him in the crouch. He cries out and falls backward, clutching his special area with his hands.

I pull myself to my knees and begin frantically searching for my bow. The others are fighting with each other vigorously. Finnick is throwing nasty punches with Brutus; Enobaria has Blight up against a tree and she's pounding on him, trying to use to her teeth to reach his throat; and Johanna and Peeta fight off Cashmere not too far away, with Johanna doing most of the work. I tear my gaze away from the others as Gloss recovers. I snatch up my bow and shoot at my attacker again. My arrow catches him in the left shoulder but that doesn't stop him from charging at me. He grabs the bow with his hands, slams his head against mine, before breaking the bow in two over his knee.

My vision goes hazy for a moment and I have to hold my head. I'm dizzy. I don't have time to react to Gloss's fist that makes contact with my nose. My body falls backward due to the force of the blow and I'm on my back again, whimpering in pain. I don't even have time to recover from the attack when Gloss stomps his foot on my stomach hard. I clutch my stomach, moaning in pain. I manage to turn over to my stomach weakly and begin to slowly drag myself away from Gloss. I'm not even sure where I'm going. I know I just need to get away from Gloss before he kills me. Then his heavy body flops onto my back. He's sitting on me now. The wind is knocked out of me and I try gasping for air. He's so heavy.

I feel Gloss grab a fistful of my hair and he lifts my head, exposing my throat. "Any last words?" he hisses in my ear as he brings the knife to my neck.

I don't say anything, gritting my teeth in pain.

Suddenly Gloss's weight leaves my body and he's thrown off of me. I turn over to see Finnick standing over Gloss, holding his trident. He's about ready to stab Gloss in the chest. Then I catch sight of Cashmere charging toward him from behind, trying to rescue her brother.

"Look out!" I call. I hop to my feet, despite the pain, and meet Cashmere halfway. We collide with each other, Cashmere falling to her back with me on top of her. She lets out an animalistic scream as she tries to throw me off.

The canon goes off signifying Gloss's death.

Cashmere lets out another scream, trying to buck me off of her. Her movements are wild and aggressive and I can't stay on top of her for long. I fall off as she scrambles to her feet. Finnick pulls out his trident from Gloss's chest. When Cashmere sees them, she rushes over, shoving Finnick aside, and kneels in front of her dead brother. A scream filled with so much grief escapes her throat and enters everyone's ears.

I feel myself quivering. I can't feel sorry for her. Not yet anyway.

I expect her to attack Finnick or something but she doesn't. She just stays crying for her brother. Enobaria and Brutus see that they lost one of their allies and know that they are outnumbered now. They begin to retreat, pulling Cashmere along with them. I decide that I'll let them go for now, because I don't have the heart to kill them. Johanna seems to think otherwise because she begins to hurry after them, hollering and throwing insults. Blight catches her wrist before she gets far.

"We can't let them go!" she snaps. "They'll come back for us later. We should finish them off now!"

"No they won't," Finnick says, wiping the tip of his trident clean on Gloss's jumpsuit. His movements are casual, as if he doesn't care that he's cleaning his weapon on a dead body. "They know they're outnumbered. They'd be idiots if they tried to attack us again."

Johanna wretches her wrist free from of Blight and lets out an angered cry, slamming her axe into the bark of a nearby tree.

I stare at Gloss's body. Then at Seeder's. First Chaff, then Mags, and now Seeder. I don't know if I can handle losing any more of our allies. I'll go mad if I keep thinking about it. Therefore I busy myself with checking everyone's wounds. I go to Peeta first. He's crouched next to Seeder's body, staring silently at her, with an unreadable expression.

"Are you okay?" I ask him cautiously, keeping my voice as steady as possible. But the shakiness is there. My voice sounds lost and faraway like it's coming from someone else.

Peeta gazes at Seeder's lifeless body, a look of sadness crossing his features, then he turns to me. "Emotionally, no. Physically, yes," he replies.

We all move away from the area to let the hovercrafts come pick up the two dead tributes. Once we're safely far away, I check everyone's wounds, starting with Peeta.

I look over his body. There are a few scratches along his neck and arms but nothing serious. I move over to Blight next. He's not injured badly. Then I go over to Johanna who just brushes me away in annoyance. I find myself counting each and every one of us as I go along. There are five of us now. If it weren't for Johanna and Blight joining our alliance, there'd only be three of us. I push the thoughts away as I approach Finnick.

He's sitting on a stubby boulder now, holding a small piece of a vine in his hand. He's moving the piece in his hands, tying it in disoriented and complicated knots. I can't read his expression. I can't tell what he's thinking, or if he even cares of the lives that were lost. Then again, I never could understand him.

I stop in front of him. "You're not seriously injured, are you?" I ask.

He doesn't look up from his complicated tying as he shrugs lightly.

I let out an exasperated sigh. My eyes travel over his body. Only a few scratches in some places; a bloody cut along his ear and one just above his right eyebrow. I use my hand to tilt Finnick's head upward to look at me. The cut there, looks pretty deep. I rip a piece of moss off of a nearby bush and dab lightly at the cut.

Finnick doesn't react to the touch. "Are you the healer now?" he questions, gazing up at me with those sea green eyes.

I frown, concentrating on the cut instead of his face. "I suppose I am. No one else offered to be," I murmur.

"That's maybe because no one else is like you," he says.

I pause. What was that supposed to mean? I shake my head and continue to work, aware of how close I'm standing in front of him. "You never cease to amaze me, Odair." I mutter.

**(o)(o)(o)**

My eyes shoot open and I see that it's really dark out. The ringing in my ears indicates the sounds of total, uncomfortable silence. I didn't have any nightmares tonight but as soon as I opened my eyes, the events of yesterday resurfaced. Peeta's sleeping soundlessly next to me, arms wrapped around me. Our heads are resting on soft moss that's a substitute for pillows. It's warm between us. As quiet and peaceful as the night is, my mind roams with dark thoughts of death. An image of Seeder smiling pops into my mind and then her dead body with the knife wedged in her back replaces it. Then images of a dead Mags and Chaff come up.

I shake my head to clear it, only for the thoughts to make a cursory return. That didn't work. I decide I need to get up and walk around to get my mind off my dead comrades before I start weeping. Silently and softly, I remove Peeta's arms from around me. I plant a kiss on his forehead which in turn he murmurs my name in his sleep. I smile before standing up, dusting off the back of my jumpsuit along my legs. Looking around, I realize how awfully dark it is than normal. The stars are out tonight but the moon is nowhere in sight. I can barely see the sleeping figures of my allies lying around, spaced out appropriately from each other. I find myself looking around for Seeder but then I remembered that she is no longer with us.

We already lost three of our allies. Will we lose another?

Earlier we had witnessed the fallen tributes pop up on a holographic screen above us, watching silently as the familiar faces came into view. Seeder, Gloss, Cecelia, the female Morphling from Six, and a female tribute from Ten. That's when we all realized that there are only us left, a tribute from Eight, Beetee from Three, and the rest of the Careers. Once we've gotten rid of them, we'll eventually have to turn on one another. I'm not sure how much longer Peeta and I will stay with the others. We'll have to leave them soon before they can decide whether or not to take us out.

A sound unexpectedly enters my ears. It was always there, I guess I just didn't pay attention to it. It sounds like someone is…well tying something. I gaze around in search of the source when my eyes land on a figure. I can barely make out the silhouette of Finnick sitting on a boulder across from me and Peeta. Folding my arms over my chest, I make my way over, leaving Peeta to sleep alone. As I get closer to him, I'm able to see him a bit more clearly, and see what he's doing. He's holding a small piece of a vine in his hand as he ties it in complicated knots.

I settle down quietly next to him, on the ground. I listen to him for a moment, the sounds of the vine moving in between his fingers filling my ears. Neither of us speak to each other for a long time. My gaze travels across the trees until they fall on Finnick beside me. It's difficult to make out his expression in the dark but I have to assume he's really concentrating on what he's doing.

"Why do you do that?" I ask eventually.

"Tie knots?" he says, glancing at me briefly before turning away. "It relaxes me. Helps me forget about everything that's happening around me."

I nod slowly.

Something dangles in front of me and I realize that Finnick is handing me a piece of vine. I take it from him and murmur a thanks. I begin to pull the ends of the strings in different directions, making them go through loops and wrap them around each other. For a moment of making knots, I feel like the bad thoughts have gone away. As soon as that thought comes to my brain, the previous deaths of my allies begin rushing through my brain again. Chaff drowning, Mags not waking up, Seeder getting stabbed. I try and create a more distorted knot to get me to focus. I'm not feeling that relaxation Finnick was talking about but I do feel a bit better. A bit. Death is never far from my mind.

"How did you find out that tying knots relaxes you?" I ask. "I mean, what made you want to do it in the first place?"

Finnick doesn't answer right away. He leaves this long gap of uncomfortable silence between us. After a good ten seconds he says, "Back in District 4, when I was younger, I use to fish a lot with my dad," he begins, voice casual and meaningful. "Whenever we want to capture many fish at once, we use nets which requires knot tying to put together. I suppose I was doing it so much that it become addictive. If I were ever upset or in an unpleasant situation, I would tie."

I let the information seep into my brain comfortably. I'm reminded of the days when I use to hunt in the woods with my dad. He was the one who showed me how to hunt and use a bow. Those days, those memories…they will always remain in my mind to just wait to resurface and rekindle what was once was. Like now. I was drawn to hunting and using a bow ever since those days. Hunting relaxes me like tying knots does to Finnick.

"So you were drawn to tying?" I question. Maybe he was drawn to tying knots like I was with hunting and using a bow.

"You can say that," he says in a low voice. "They also help keep me in the present." He adds.

_The present…?_ I can't be sure what he means but I nod brusquely anyway. He speaks as if he isn't here, not on earth or something. Maybe he's so caught up in be put back into the games that he's not exactly bright? I don't know. Whatever he means, I'll just leave that to him.

I continue to tie knots, letting my mind focus on the task. Somehow my knot gets so tight that I am unable to undo it. I can hardly see in the dark which makes it that much difficult to untie.

"I keep thinking…"I murmur, trying to force the knot to untangle itself.

Finnick chuckles as if I said something funny, a good old, low, wholehearted chuckle. "Everyone thinks, Katniss."

I roll my eyes but I'm pretty sure he didn't see that, with it being so shadowy. "I meant that I keep thinking about the others." I say.

Finnick seems to know exactly what I am talking about because it becomes an awkward silence between us.

"I need to get my mind off of it, if not even for a minute." I say. I eventually give up trying to undo the knot. _Impossible_. I think as I set it down below me.

"Well…" Finnick starts slowly, having stopped tying his own string. Then, almost immediately, I can tell he's closer to me now; closer to my face. His breath tickling my face, my cheeks, my lips… His warm scent washes over me, almost overwhelming me. "Making out seems to keep bad thoughts at bay…" he murmurs. Then I can suddenly see those sea green eyes, glinting, gazing at mine intensely.

I'm glad it's dark out otherwise he would see my flushed cheeks. I force saliva down my throat. "I thought tying knots keeps your mind off of things." I say, keeping my voice as even as possible.

"They do," purposely making his voice sound breathy and alluring. "But when there's a girl, let's just say grabbing a piece of string isn't my first pick."

My heart is begging to rip out of my chest but my voice is surprisingly steady. "Interesting, Odair," I say. "I don't think that'll help me though. You're tying knots method didn't seem to do much…for me that is."

I feel two of his fingers appear under my chin and he tilts my head upward slightly until our lips are just inches apart. "No?" he says teasingly. I can see his face a bit more clearly and the distance between our lips. He can easily lean forward, with one simple movement, and our mouths will be touching.

I inhale deeply, taking in every scent that Finnick possesses. I meet his gaze and say indignantly, "No."

Finnick doesn't move, not closer, not away either. The corners of his mouth turn up into a smile and he just gazes at me. He pushes a loose strand of hair behind my ear before saying, "What's wrong, Girl on Fire? Afraid of the unknown…?"

I clench my teeth together with my mouth closed. I can't let Finnick get to me like this, so easily. He always seems to take advantage of me without much effort and I can't let him do this to me again. "Tell me about _Annie_?"

As if my words have struck him like a spear through the chest, his expression completely changes and distorts into a look of grimace and pain. He moves away from me, almost jerking away from me, as if something just stung him. His face disappears in the shadows of a tree hanging overhead but I can still see his hands. His hands that have now balled into fists, resting on his knees, shaking slightly. "Don't talk about her." He says in a voice that sounds hollow and indifferent.

I have never seen Finnick act like this. His whole mood, the seductiveness, just gone. I'm not sure if he's angry with me so I don't say anything else other than, "Okay." Then we're left in silence, the only sounds of the silent night accompanying our ears. I don't bother apologizing because I'm not even sure if I have to. I'll give him his space, let him soak in with his own feelings. I sit there and wait, trying to keep my mind occupied with useless thoughts other than that of the death of our comrades. Strangely enough, this whole situation kept my mind off of the whole thing.

I sit there tying knots as I listen to the forest sounds. It's been seconds or minutes even, and the darkness hasn't gotten any lighter. I'm sitting there, alone in the dark with a probably angry Finnick, as the others around me sleep silently. The only thing accompanying me is my own thoughts. I twist and fold the string, creating intricate knots, not at all focusing on it. My hands seem to have minds of their own. Unfortunately my mind has other plans other than folding a piece of string. And I know what happens when I'm sitting in the silence. Unwanted thoughts and images appear into my mind and until I have to pinch myself to gain control, though only to wait a few short moments before the thoughts come back.

Finnick had begun to tie knots again and I eventually throw down my own string, thinking about how useless it is. I need to think about more pleasant thoughts and how tying knots calms Finnick down will remain a mystery to me. Even I enjoy mysteries. Maybe I can discover the mystery that's Finnick Odair.

Then why am I surprised when I turn to face him fully? When I lean toward his face, toward his ear? I inhale his soft, salty aroma and smile warmly, loving how he smells. That's right. It's no surprise when I bring my lips to his ear and whisper in the lowest most seductive voice I can conjure up, "_Teach me how to kiss like you, Odair_..."

**To be continued…**

_Thanks for reading this chapter. Reviews are well cherished! And thanks to all those reviews from 'Guest.' Really appreciate that ;D_


	15. Deceive

_Thank you all for the reviews, follows, and favorites! Enjoy!_

**Chapter 15**

**Deceive**

**Update: 2/24/2014**

I don't know, it's so dark, but I think Finnick is smiling – more like smirking at me. When he looks at me with his fascinating sea green eyes, I'm instantly lost in another universe, having absolute no power to look away. Then he leans toward me until our foreheads are touching, placing a hand on my cheek.

"You sure you want to _learn_, Girl on Fire…?" he says in a breathy voice, causing my skin to crawl.

I swallow very hard and I'm suddenly quivering. Why am I quivering? "Do it already." I murmur in a low voice. _Kiss me already_, more likely. Where did that come from? Oh, something must be happening to me. I'm not thinking straight. Where have my thoughts gone? It's all hazy and cloudy and my body is tingling all over, which is all too new for me.

He leans toward my face, his lips touching mine softly, before pulling away almost immediately. That wasn't a kiss. I didn't even get to enjoy it. I move toward his face again to close off the gap between us but he moves his head away, and my lips touch his jaw.

"You're quite eager, Katniss," he says teasingly.

I frown and scoot away from him. "Whatever. I'm going back to sleep," I say. I stand up, knowing he'll try and stop me. Sure enough, his arms pull me back down until I'm positioned on his lap.

"I thought you wanted me to teach you how to kiss?" he murmurs in my ear.

My ears twitch slightly and my cheeks start to burn hot. There goes my heart, ready to break through my chest. And I'm sitting on Finnick's lap now too with his arms around my waist, which makes the situation a lot worse for me. I open my mouth to tell him that I do, but…then I stop myself.

Peeta. What about Peeta…? I begin to regain my senses as I realize how of a mindless fool I've become. What's wrong with me? I can't do this… I can't do this to Peeta. "No," I say.

"No?" Finnick sounds surprised.

"No," I say more firmly, pulling away from him, but unfortunately his arms are locked around my waist. "Let go." I order and he does. I make my way back over to Peeta feeling sick in the stomach for some reason. What just happened? I feel like I just committed a crime. As I curl up next to Peeta's warm form, the word 'cheater' pops into my brain.

**You cheated on Peeta. **The voice says.

_I didn't cheat!_ I think.

**You **_**deceived**_** your fiancé**_**, **_**your **_**husband. **_

I clench my eyes shut tighter as if that will block out the words. We aren't even in a real relationship; it's just for show for the people, but still… This isn't right. I know Peeta loves me, but I have no idea if I love him.

**(o)(o)(o)**

The warmth of the sunlight shines down upon me, seeping through my jumpsuit to warm up my skin. I feel at ease under the warmth of the sun as I traipse forward a few steps and then pause when I see the beach, more so the Cornucopia. It's bright, reflecting the sun's light off of it with its silver, chrome color. The others are behind me, walking silently, with Peeta being the only loud. The ocean scent hits my nostrils. Salty.

Finnick.

I can still remember what happened last night…those feelings I was feeling around Finnick and the sudden urge to kiss him. What was I thinking? Not only did I screw up last night, now it's awkward between the two of us. Whenever I look at him, I imagine his lips touching mine and I crave him so badly. I have to always avert my gaze away from him when I catch myself staring too long. Sometimes I even catch him watching me, and as soon as we make eye contact, he breaks the gaze. Johanna seems to notice all the stares and keeps shooting me knowing looks. I always try to wave her off dismissively and roll my eyes, but she doesn't buy any of it. She can assume what she wants and let's just hope she keeps her big mouth shut.

When I think about Finnick, what I almost did with him last night, I can't help but feel guilty. Whenever Peeta hugs me or kisses me, I feel like I've deceived him and I feel the guilt wash over me all over again. If he ever finds out about what I did, he'll be _very_ upset. I can't imagine what he'd do… He'll probably hate me and never talk to me for the remainder of the games…for the remainder of our lives. I can't let that happen.

I try not to think about it, as I make my way toward the Cornucopia. Gloss broke my bow the other day, so I'll need another one. Hopefully there are still weapons left at all. The others stay on the beach as I traipse over. A feeble amount of weapons lay scattered about. There are stained blood on some parts of the Cornucopia from the bloodbath. I swallow, concentrating on finding a bow instead of the red stains. So far I see only a couple of knives and a spear or two. Then I spot a bow, wedged underneath something. I pull it out carefully. This one is different in color than my last one; with a darkish brown, oak color. I grab another knife before making my way back over to the sand.

Peeta's standing next to the water, the waves just nearly reaching his feet before pulling back in. I approach him first, catching Finnick's eye in my peripheral vision. The thoughts start to come up again and I shove them away quickly into the depths of my mind. _Don't look at him_. I tell myself as I pause beside Peeta.

I don't stand too close to him. I feel like if I do, I'll become overwhelmed in guilt. So I watch him as he throws shells into the water, silently. He doesn't acknowledge my presence but continues to throw overhand casually.

Then he turns to me finally. "Got what you needed?" he asks.

I show him my new bow. "Yeah."

He nods, looking away from me to throw another shell. The shell bounces once on the water's surface before disappearing under in a second. The waves push close to our feet, barely reaching us, before dragging itself away. Then Peeta turns back to face me, looking concerned. "Are you okay, Katniss? You seem distracted."

I swallow. _He notices._ "It's Seeder…" I hate myself at how easily I lied to him. It was a good lie though, because she _did_ just die yesterday. Though I feel like I'm betraying his trust.

Peeta gives me a sympathetic look. "Yeah…she was a good friend," he murmurs, staring off into the distance thoughtfully. Then he unexpectedly pulls me into an embrace, wrapping his arms around my neck. "You'll get through this…" he breathes.

I encase my arms around his waist. We are practically the same height – me being slightly taller – so I'm able to rest my chin on his shoulder. I sigh through my nose, feeling that black hole of guilt opening up within me. Then I realize something and pull away from him to stare at his face. "Wait…you said _you'll_," I say.

Peeta sighs. "I was sure you knew already…what I decided," he says in a low tone.

I did know. I just refused to think about it until now. Peeta still wants me to win the games, same as I do him. I remember the conversation he had with Haymitch before we watched the tapes and wonder if Haymitch has already come to an agreement with Peeta.

I begin shaking my head.

"You're really important to me, Katniss─" he starts.

"No, Peeta," I say sternly. I've already decided that I'm keeping him alive. There's no way I'm letting him die. "I'm not going to let you die, Peeta. You're important to me too."

"I can't let _you_ die either."

"Don't argue with me. You can't change─"

"I _have_ no one, Katniss!" Peeta's voice rises. I freeze, realizing how serious he's being now. "Don't you get it…?" he says more quietly, his lips trembling. I think he's about to cry. I've never seen Peeta cry. "If I live, there's no one for me to go back to. I _have_ no one," he repeats. He doesn't cry, but he bites his bottom lip to keep it from trembling. He looks like he wants to say more, but he decides against it.

At that moment I know I can't change his mind. I find myself quivering. He wants me to live, I want him to live. This can't be changed. Peeta pulls me into his arms. I hold him against me, tightly, for dear life. If I let go, he might float away out of my reach. We stay holding each other for what feels like forever before Johanna calls us over.

"Get over here, you little love birds!" she calls out wretchedly.

Can't she see we're having a moment?

Peeta pulls away from me. "Guess we'd better get over there," he says.

"Right…" I murmur, about to move.

"Wait," he says. I look at him. Then he kisses me softly on the lips which only lasts a few seconds before he pulls away. "Just in case…" he says.

I nod. _Just in case I die today_. I wish he would stop thinking like that. He's already expecting his death so soon for crying out loud! I follow him back to the others who have gathered around together. Johanna's pacing back and forth impatiently while twisting her axe around in her fingers; Blight is sitting on a boulder, deep in thought; while Finnick is leaning his back against a tree casually.

We make eye contact. I'm sure he saw me and Peeta hugging back there but I'm not sure what he thinks of it. His expression is unreadable as always and he tears his gaze away before I can question him.

"What should we do then?" Finnick asks, running a hand through his bronze hair. "Should we hunt them all down or wait for them to come to us?"

"I say we hunt them down!" Johanna replies aggressively. "We've done enough waiting and walking around. The Gamemakers will get bored eventually and demand for action. Let's give it to them before they give it to us." Then she slams her axe into a nearby tree for no apparent reason.

They're talking about the other tributes.

"Who's all left?" I question, finding a tree to lean on.

"Well, there's the last three Careers," Blight speaks up.

Johanna rolls her eyes at him. "Duh." And tugs out her axe from the tree.

"There's Beetee and that tribute from Eight," says Finnick.

"And us…" Peeta adds lastly. I count in my head how many tributes need to die before we turn on each other. The Careers, Beetee, a tribute from Eight; that's five. I don't think I want to stick around these people once that's over. In fact, I don't want to hang around them now. Maybe Peeta and I should start deciding to leave soon.

What about Finnick though? A voice inside me asks.

_What __**about**__ Finnick?_ I retort. He's more than likely to team up with Johanna and Blight and try to take out Peeta and I anyway. Though something tells me he wouldn't. We _did_ kiss after all…sort of. I pinch myself. _It never happened. _ If it did, it meant nothing. _Nothing_.

"Why not?" Johanna's angry voice pulls me from my thoughts. "If we track them down now, this whole thing will blow over before we know it!" I realize that her words are aimed at Peeta.

"We can't take the risk," Peeta says. He's trying to keep his calm. "We can lay low for now, let them come to us. There's no rush." He meets my gaze and I know what he's thinking. He wants more time with me before either of us dies.

"That's _stupid_," Johanna snaps. "If you call that a plan, then you're just as an idiot as they are."

"Watch it, Johanna," I warn. I'm not going to sit here and let her insult Peeta like that. "I'm with Peeta. It doesn't seem exactly smart tracking down our enemies through the jungle, tiring ourselves out when we can let _them_ do the searching_._"

Johanna glowers at me. At any second, I think she's going to lunge at me and tear my face apart. Instead, she slams her axe into the tree again with a grunt. "The _hell_ with that!" she says.

"She's right, Johanna," Finnick pipes up, his arms folded across his chest. He sits up straight until he's not leaning on his tree anymore, turning his attention toward his angry companion. "We don't have to rush this. We'll stay hidden, but only for now." I gaze at him gratefully but he doesn't look at me.

I see Johanna gritting her teeth as she yanks out her axe. "Whatever." And stalks over to the sand with her head held high. Blight trails after her. Finnick avoids my gaze as he follows both of them. I watch as they gather together and begin to speak silently with each other. Johanna snaps a few times but Finnick manages to calm her down. For some reason, I think they're talking about us, forming treacherous ways to kill me and Peeta. Then I shake my head. I can't trust them. I can't trust Finnick either, not as much as I want to anyway, not even after last night. Not after we agreed to be friends…

Peeta comes to stand next to me, watching the others as well. "I know what you're thinking," he says.

I turn my head to look at him. "You knew it was going to happen eventually," I murmur quietly. I don't want to accept this but I have to. We both knew this was coming sooner or later. "We have to leave, Peeta."

Even though he knew what I was thinking, he sighs lowly anyway. "We can't leave yet, Katniss," he says. "How are we going to defend ourselves without them?"

"I can defend you," I say. "That's not enough?"

"It's not me I'm worried about."

I sigh. Of course he's not thinking about himself, he's thinking about me. He thinks that we're safe with them for now and I don't want to argue him about it, so I agree. "Fine. We'll stay until the Careers are dead and then we're leaving," I say finally.

Peeta seems to agree with this as he nods his head.

Night has come quickly. I'm sitting propped up on a boulder, with my back butted against a tree, while my other companions sleep around me; Blight being the only snoring one. Unfortunately there weren't any deaths today, so the Gamemakers will get bored and probably push people together or make some other kind of twisted way to get things moving. We're already down to the last few tributes; us, the Careers, a tribute from Eight, and Beetee from Three. Sooner or later the Careers will pick them off and then come for us in hopes of some of us being dead by then.

With a sigh, I rest my elbows on my knees. My eyes travel over my sleeping comrades until they land on Peeta's sleeping figure. _We'll be leaving soon_. I think. Why does the thought upset me? I didn't want allies in the first place, so why I am feeling this way now when I want to leave them? Honestly, I don't like Johanna or Blight as much but then there's Finnick… Maybe I don't want to leave because leaving would mean leaving him behind. And I should _want_ to leave him. I know he's not exactly a bad person, even though he's shown no signs of caring about the other dead tributes other than Mags, but I think I'm starting to really like him and that's probably why I'm so anxious.

A sound of movement catches my attention and my hands are on my bow in an instant. Then I notice the figure making their way toward me. Only one person walks that elegant. I lower my bow and set it aside, as Finnick halts in front of me. I try not to stare at his face directly, averting my gaze elsewhere. "Came to take over my shift?" I question casually.

"No," he murmurs, sitting next to me. I scoot a bit to give him room. Our shoulders are brushing slightly. "Couldn't sleep."

"Nightmares?" I ask.

"Nightmares, yes, but there's another thing…" he says, trailing away. I turn to him, waiting for him to go on. "You know…we could be dead tomorrow."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Last night…was a mistake," I murmur. "It never happened."

"I know but…" he's staring at me, gazing intently into my eyes. He lowers his voice to a whisper. "I can't stop thinking about you."

I bite the inside of my cheek. _Same here_. "So it wasn't just the nightmares that kept you up..."

"No…"

I bite my bottom lip thoughtfully. As soon as I do that, Finnick's eyes gaze downward until he's staring at my mouth. My cheeks start blazing and I have to snap my fingers in his face to draw his attention away. He looks back up at my eyes. "Wake up," I say.

"Sorry."

I look away from him, cheeks still burning. What's going on here? I try not to think about the Capitol's desirable sex symbol sitting next to me, as I start to mess with my braid, undoing it. This doesn't normally calm me down, but I need to keep my hands occupied before I'm tempted to do anything. The night is quiet and dark as it was last night, not a star in the fake sky. Dark shadows cast overhead, looming over us with their dark figures. My fingers create a braid that's too tight that I have to undo it again. As I'm about done, I can feel someone's fingers brushes mine.

"I got it," Finnick says next to me.

I remove my hands from my hair as I let him start to braid it for me. When did he learn how to braid? I wonder. It only takes him a few short moments, with his mastery hands, until he's done. He drapes the braid over my shoulder and leans close to me.

"Thanks." I mutter, glancing at him for once. There's an intense look in those sea green eyes that weren't there before and I begin to feel my heart hammer in my chest. This is just like last night. I'm feeling warm again and my eyes seem to have a mind of their own as they travel down to those luscious lips.

Then Finnick trails his tongue over them, seductively, lathering them softly.

_Damn_... I think. Now I know he's doing this on purpose. I've had enough games already. He parts his lips slightly, and maybe he's going to say something, but me feeling heated and having the want for attention, I take it as an opportunity to enter and close off the gap between us. I should have thought about this before I did anything. The thought should have crossed my mind. How I can be so unfortunate and mindless? Maybe because I know this'll keep my mind off of…well…the bad thoughts. Or maybe because I always wanted to do this…

Eventually Finnick comes to terms to what's happening and his mouth begins to move with mine, his arms folding around my waist. My skin tingles under his touch, causing me to shudder in every place in my body, which only infuses my desire even more. His lips are incredibly firm and warm against mine, and we're surprisingly moving in unison. Finnick is an expert at this, given that he's probably kissed many girls in the Capitol. For me, this is a whole new experience, but I strangely catch on pretty quickly.

I'm a fast learner.

I wonder how I was even able to resist Finnick for this long. All those times he tried to kiss me, how could I have been such of a fool to reject him? His lips…his mouth is amazing…so fruity. I want to discover everything he has, every part of his mouth. I want to kiss him for all eternity…or until I need air. This is odd for me because I don't normally act like this, but at the same time it feels so irresistibly good.

I swing my legs over him, until I'm straddling him, crossing around his waist. My heart is hammering against my chest louder and more definite than ever; or is that both of ours together? There's a soft moan. Finnick must be enjoying this, which means I must be doing this right. Oh, wait, never mind, that was me. Damn, I have to be quiet before the cameras hear or else I'll be dead when I wake up in the morning.

_**Cheater**_, the voice in my head goes.

I ignore the annoying voice in my head as I press closer up against Finnick's warm body. When Finnick nips at my bottom lip I have to inhale sharply to keep myself from making any noise.

It's difficult to keep quiet.

Finnick's arms pull me closer to him, as I entangle my fingers in his smooth hair. I've never felt this way before. I've never kissed anyone like this before, not even Peeta.

How am I able to do this?

"Katniss…?" Finnick mumbles against my lips. He wants to tell me something, I think. Maybe he's changed his mind about all of this.

No. I don't want it to end.

I pull away briefly. "I don't want to hear it," I say breathlessly. "Just kiss me." And with that, I push my lips against his again. He kisses me back more strongly this time. And we're suddenly hurrying as if there's no time left, as if our lives depended on it, our mouths moving faster with one another's. It's odd how synchronized our movements are. We enjoy every moment of this wonderful sensation while we have the dark night to ourselves, like we were _meant_ to do this, or have been all along. This will probably be the only time we'll be able to do this because we'll both be dead anyway when this is all over.

And that's it. It's must've been minutes or even hours now when we've lost all of our breath and we're tired now for kissing for so long. We keep our faces close together, our foreheads touching, as we inhale each other's breaths heavily, holding each other close. I try to regain my mind again, allowing thoughts to run through my brain. Did I really just kiss Finnick? The thought sounds bizarre, but it's true. We're still sitting here holding each other for a long while, not saying or doing anything.

Then Finnick pushes a loose strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers brushing my cheek, before placing his hand back on my hip. I see his sea green eyes boring into mine. "You're amazing at that…" he murmurs.

I should take that as a compliment, right? "Thanks…" I sound calm but my mind is running wild.

_**Cheater, cheater, deceiver!**_

_Yes, I am a cheater._ I think, feeling the guilt wrap around my heart. What am I going to do now? I have to…get away from him before I lose my mind. But I just can't move away, especially now that Finnick's lips are touching mine again. I have no control over myself as I start to kiss him back, loving every second of this.

We don't hear the footsteps that are approaching us from behind until it's too late. Then there's a gasp and then Peeta's voice. "Katniss, what are you doing?"

**To be continued…**


	16. Culminate

**Chapter 16**

**Culminate**

**Update: 2/28/2014**

Finnick and I disperse almost instantly, scrambling away from each other, trying to create as much distance between each other as possible. Feels like my heart has stopped and my blood drips cold with regret, fear, guilt. I press my back up against the tree, far away from Finnick, shaking my head. What does it even matter? Peeta saw us and I'm dead. I'm going to die tonight of suicide because I can't stand the thought of Peeta hating me. He saw us. _He saw us_. What am I going to do now?

I open my mouth to explain myself but nothing comes out other than 'uhs' and slurring words. _Pathetic_.

I can see Peeta's silhouette standing there in the dark. I can't see his expression but it's not hard to imagine anger written all over it. "What _were_ you doing with him, Katniss?" he asks again. At least he's not angry enough to raise his voice. He knows very well what we were doing though.

My heart is hammering in my chest and my body is quivering without control. I can't speak. There's wetness on my cheeks. I'm crying. Why am I crying? It's because the fact that Peeta probably hates me now and I'll eventually throw myself over a cliff in grief.

"I was making her do it," Finnick says hastily in a low voice, – can't let the Gamemakers know what's going on – trying to turn the situation around. "She didn't know what she was doing. It's my fault."

"That's not what it looked like," says Peeta. It's hard to tell if he's angry or not. He sounds almost robotic. That's not a good sign.

I open my mouth to speak but only a feeble gasp comes out. The tears keep coming and I'm starting to make those gasping noises I make when I cry. I cover my mouth with my hand to suppress them.

Peeta turns his gaze away from Finnick to look at me. "Why?"

I shake my head because I don't know why and I can't even use my words. _Foolish._

"Was it for show?"

I want to speak but when I remove my hand only a weak gasp comes out and I have to cover my mouth again.

"Peeta─" Finnick starts.

"You can have any girl in the world and why did you have to take Katniss?" He's raising his voice now, losing his temper. This isn't good. "Why? Tell me," Peeta says when Finnick doesn't answer.

Still no response.

"Tell me!" he snaps abruptly.

Finnick runs a hand through his hair slowly, in thought. "Truly, Peeta…" he says with a sigh. "All I can say is... I wish I could explain myself without upsetting you even more, but…" he trails away, placing his palm on his face, and curses under his breath. He's uncomfortable, awkward even, that he's in this situation. We didn't think we'd get caught, especially not by my fiancé and now he has to explain himself in front of my husband which is not an easy task. Then his looks at Peeta again, shaking his head. "I really don't know," he says.

Silence. Deep, dreadful, cold silence. I can't hear my heart anymore. In fact I'm unable to hear anything other than my muffled gasps. _Stupid_.

"Alright…I see," Peeta murmurs quietly after a while, taking two steps away from us. "Let me know how this –" he gestures toward me and Finnick. " – whatever this is, works out," he says sarcastically and walks away to go lie down.

"Peeta…!" I say, finally able to talk. _Weak_.

He ignores me as he flops down with a huff. That's it. He won't ever speak to me again. I ruined everything because I had to kiss Finnick. Now the Gamemakers probably heard everything that went on and they are going to try and kill me now. I'll die knowing that Peeta hates me. Oh, what have I done? What have I done…?

_Idiot_.

**(o)(o)(o)**

The next day in the afternoon, my companions and I are hanging around a hidden clearing in the jungle, near the beach, in hopes of other tributes coming by. Eventually some other tributes will come and maybe even check the Cornucopia for more weapons if they need it, and we'll be here to jump them if that happens. Luckily it's not so hot today that no one has to drink water from the canteen, because we are running quite low. I'm sitting in a tree, away from everyone else. I'm able to see the water from here in the ocean, watching as the waves lap against the shore.

Peeta's not talking me, not surprisingly. He was really upset last night when he saw me kissing Finnick. Yes, I will admit that I enjoyed kissing him, but I didn't think I'd get caught, especially not by my fake husband. I honestly don't know if I'm in love with Peeta or not. Sometimes I'll kiss him as his fake wife if I want to, but other times I see him as just a good friend. Kind of like my relationship with Gale. Gale is in love with me, he admitted it before the Quarter Quell was announced, and now our relationship sort of…strange. We're still friends, yes, but we kiss, which is more like friends with benefits to some extent. That's beside the point, Peeta's an important person to me and I don't want him to hate me, especially not now that I'm going to eventually die in the end.

I'm not talking to Finnick either and he isn't talking to me. I don't know how to explain what happened between us last night. Was it lust or was it something more? All I know is that I do like Finnick but I just can't figure out if there's anything more to that. I don't regret what I did, I regret being careless and being so open about it. We could have been more…cautious and maybe Peeta wouldn't have found out about it.

A low sigh releases from my lips. I can hear the others talking in quiet tones a few feet below me. I turn my head downward slightly to catch a glimpse of those three – Johanna, Finnick, and Blight – huddled together, talking, somewhere near my tree. They aren't too far below for me to decipher what they're saying, so I'm able to pick up a few words.

"…last night?" Johanna was asking Finnick.

He says something that I don't catch. Wait, last night?

Johanna gives him a nudge with her shoulder. "Don't be such a…" – _she says some curse word that I don't want to repeat'_ – "I heard your voices…I thought I was dreaming but now I know I wasn't. I know you're hiding something," she goes on.

Finnick shakes his head at her and tells her that it's nothing. Then he so happens to gaze upward, at me, and I immediately look away. I decide to stare off at the ocean, watching the waves overlap the shore sonorously. The nice, distant sounds soothe my ears, blocking out everything else. Luckily there was a beach in this arena, or I wouldn't have anything else to soothe me when I needed it. Then unexpectedly the canon goes off, interrupting the peace, and my body tenses. When I look downward, I'm expecting to see one of my companions lying on the ground dead, but instead everyone's up and standing alert.

Who died? I wonder.

I hurry down the tree and over to the others who are peering into the trees now. "What's going on?" I ask, pausing beside Johanna.

"Shh!" she snaps.

My mouth clamps shut immediately and I strain my ears to listen. There's no sound at first, except for the swaying trees in the wind and the sound of my rapid heart ready to explode through my chest. Then there's a sound, interrupting the rhythm. It seems like someone or something is running, in our direction. Though this isn't any sound of normalcy, of any human footsteps. No, these sound like several pounding of paws hitting the jungle flooring in hot pursuit. And that's when I see the beast like figures moving quickly, zigzagging between the trees. There are too many of them to count and all I can think about of how much of a fool I was.

_They know, they know, they know. This is my punishment. They want me dead, they want me __**dead**__._

"Climb!" I shout hastily. My hands are on the tree bark in an instant, then I pause remembering Peeta. He's by side already, and I try to help him host up the tree. He fumbles with himself, having hardly a clue where to put his hands and feet. I have to give him cursory instructions while taking quick glances at the mutts who are nearing us. The others are attempting to climb their own trees, though they aren't an expert like I am, but they manage at most.

Peeta's up high enough to climb himself now, so I start to pull myself up, grabbing hold of every branch and wedging my feet into every gap as I can. A mutt has reached the bottom of the tree now and starts to claw at me with its massive paws. I pull my leg away just in time, inches from those blades of nails, and manage to get myself safely up onto a high enough branch beside Peeta. The mutt lunges upward, almost a little too high of a jump to my liking, growling and spitting at us. These things know how to leap. I'm close enough now to make out their descriptions. Hairy bodies that reek of a peculiar odor; fur that's dark brown with white stripes in color; bloodshot, snake like eyes; teeth as large and as pointy as bits of needles; and very, very huge bodies that are carried by four, grizzly legs.

That canon must've signified the death of a tribute that these things killed. Now they want us.

I peer over at the others. Blight and Johanna managed to get atop their tree and are now helping Finnick up. As he's making is way up, I stare in horror as one of the mutts latches onto his leg with its sharp claw. Finnick lets out a cry; Johanna and Blight trying to keep hold of him as the mutt tries to pull him toward it. My arrow is positioned, aimed directly at the Capitol specimen. I inhale deeply and then shoot. The arrow whisks by, splitting through the air flawlessly, until its point impedes itself into the throat of the beast. The thing doesn't even get to screech in pain because it dies instantly, crimson red blood gushing from its new wound. Naturally its claw releases Finnick's leg, leaving sick gashes there, and he's able to host himself up with the help of Johanna and Blight.

Shakily, I lower my bow until it's aimed at the mutt that keeps trying to lunge above me and Peeta's tree. I shoot it in its forehead and it dies in a second. Unfortunately I don't think I'll have enough arrows to kill them all, as more and more mutts begin to file in from the trees, snarling and howling. My heart is going frantic, watching the many beasts swarm around our trees, slamming their heavy bodies against the bark as they try to climb their way up. I turn to Peeta who's sitting beside me. He's quivering slightly but he holds a knife in his is hand in a ready position.

A mutt leaps higher than I expected and I'm quick to shoot it through the heart. The animal hits the ground, landing on top of another one of its pals, its eyes staring blankly at the sky. Killing one seems to always bring another one in its place and every arrow I shoot, the more I know I'm losing. These arrows won't last long and I'll have to start using my knife. When a mutt lunges and manages to clutch onto the branch right below us, Peeta swipes at its face with his knife. The beast ducks its head away from the blow, before pulling back its lips, revealing those needle fangs. It lunges upward once more, trying to clamp onto our branch. I instruct Peeta to climb higher. He lashes at the beast's eyes again before we pull ourselves to a higher branch.

The whole time my heart is beating rapidly in my chest and the adrenaline is coursing through my veins. I'm afraid and not just for my own life, but Peeta's and Finnick's. I wish the District 4 tribute was in our tree, because I don't know how bad his wound in his leg is and I don't think Johanna and Blight will take care of him properly. When Peeta and I decide we're as high as we can get, I peer downward at the beast that Peeta swiped at. It's struggling to reach us, grasping frantically at the branches with its claws. Then the branch it's on suddenly can't hold its weight and it snaps right then, taking the animal down to the ground, hitting a rock at the bottom that kills it an instant.

The canon goes off again, almost at the same time the animal died. But I know that wasn't for _it_.

What if that was Finnick? I try to peer through the many branches at the tree across from me. I can't see the others, there are too many leaves. What if it _was_ Finnick? I shake my head, trying to convince myself that it wasn't. That beast only caught his leg, not anything vital. But still, what if there were venom in its claws? If Finnick is dead, I don't know if I'll be able to bare it.

My attention is brought to the mutt that attempts to make its way up. Somehow it's clutching onto a few branches below us, climbing strongly. I can hear the branches struggling to hold its weight but unfortunately none of them break. A few more mutts are following suit with this one, getting closer to us. I reach behind me for an arrow, only to grasp air instead. No more arrows. I pull out my knife and hold it out in front of me, aiming it at the beast that's edging closer to us. We won't be able to hold them off. There are too many of them, too many of them below and too many of them attempting to climb. I can hear several of them growling and grunting viciously, too loud that they sound like a clutter of random sounds.

Then there's suddenly an unusual sound that sounds similar to a horn. The mutts stand rigid with their ears pricked, staring off in one direction. Then they all begin to retreat, the ones climbing down the tree, and the others racing away. Almost as soon as they had come, they are gone, disappearing amongst the trees. I only sigh in relief when I don't hear the sounds of their thudding paws hitting the ground. The Gamemakers must've called them back. I'm sure they still want me dead. That was just a warning to scare me, I suppose. At least they got the excitement they wanted for today so maybe they'll leave us alone for now. Though I should always remain cautious in case of another unexpected attack.

Peeta and I begin to make our way down the tree. Peeta doesn't reject as I take his arm to help him down. Only when our feet hit the ground, Peeta moves away from me without a word of thanks. I try not to think about how angry he still is with me as I hurry over to the others who are shakily climbing down their tree. Finnick's alive but he's limping, Johanna and Blight have to hold him steady so he won't topple over.

"I thought you died," I say in relief.

He shakes his head, giving me a weak grin. "I'm not going down that easily," he says.

I move to embrace him but then I stop myself, remembering that I have to not provoke the Gamemakers. So I take a step away from him and peer down at his bleeding leg. The punctures don't appear as deep as I thought, the beast barely grazed him. We'll need something to stop the bleeding though and in case of infection. Fortunately, a parachute floats down near Finnick and I take it before it lands. Inside is a first aid kit. Blight and Johanna help Finnick into a sitting position, and then I get to work on his wound. Johanna helps me.

"What the heck were those things?" Blight questions. He seems a bit shaken up after the horrible event.

"Just some stupid Capitol mutts," says Johanna. She pulls out a bottle of liquid that reads 'use as antiseptic.' She pulls off the lid and then carelessly pours a chunk onto Finnick's wound.

Finnick's cries are drowned out by my hand that quickly clamps over his mouth. "What the hell, Johanna?" I snap at her. Finnick clenches his eyes shut tightly and curls his hands into fists, quivering from the pain. His moans of agony are muffled by my hand. I ought to slap Johanna for doing that. Doesn't she know that stuff burns?

"Oh, stop being such a wuss, and take it like a man," Johanna says, giving Finnick's head a flick. He waves her away weakly.

I remove my hand from his mouth, now that he's not shouting anymore, as I start to dry up the blood as best I can. When I'm done, Johanna and I begin to wrap his leg with bandages. We finish up pretty quickly and help Finnick stand up. I give him a large, sturdy stick so he can use to help himself walk. Then the four of us head over to the beach. I leave them all by the tree as I go closer to the water. I'd rather sit with Finnick but then I'll just be asking to be killed. So I settle down close to the waves, folding my arms around my knees. I stare at the water pushing close to my shoes, before pulling back away.

Someone sits down beside me, ruffling the sand as they stretch out one leg toward the water. Peeta.

I take in a deep breath, waiting for him to shout at me again for last night. I deserve everything that's coming to me.

I'm surprised when he says, "Hi."

"Hi…" I say awkwardly. Wait, isn't he mad at me? I decide to ask him. "You're not still angry, are you?"

"Yes. I am."

_Figures._ I look down at my lap in guilt, feeling like a child who just got a punishment for doing a wrong deed. An idiot, I am. What did I expect? For him to forget about something like that? Of course not. If I were in his position, I'd be upset too, except though I don't even know my true feelings for Peeta.

"I don't hate you though…" he murmurs quietly.

I glance at him in surprise. He's refusing to look me straight in the eye, more so looking at the rest of my face, as if I'm a changed person. I'm hurt, but not as much as he was when witnessed Finnick and I last night. He may not hate me but he sure doesn't look at me the same way anymore. Perhaps he's right. I'm not the same.

"Why did you do it?" he asks me eventually.

When I open my mouth, no words come out, because honestly I don't even know myself. My actions were beyond my control and Finnick's just so…enticing. A few weeks ago, I found Finnick disgusting and unappealing and incredibly perfect – in a bad way – but now that things are different, now that I got to know him better, my liking toward him grew and lost all cruel thoughts I once had of him. I can't explain that in words to Peeta, he won't understand, and might even hate me for falling for Finnick Odair's charm.

"I can't explain it…" I admit. I mentally punch myself at how pathetic I sound. He won't buy that.

He narrows his eyes at me skeptically. Then he looks away from me with a heavy sigh. He pushes a hand through his hair and I catch sight of his sad eyes.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, Peeta…" I murmur. And the guilt is wrapping around my waist, squeezing the air out of me. Apologizing isn't enough to make him feel better, I know that, but I felt that I should say something more to him.

He shakes his head slowly. "I can't forgive you for what you've done, but…just know that I still care for you…"

I stare at him gratefully and grip his hand. "Thank you," I say. He gives me a small, weak smile and lets his fingers intertwine with mine.

**(o)(o)(o)**

That night, it's as dark as last night. I'm sitting propped up against a tree as the faces pop in the sky and the anthem begins to play. The female tribute from Eight's face appears there, looking determined and alive. Then Cashmere's face comes up, looking strong and beautiful. Then the anthem gradually grows quiet and the sky goes dark. I suppose those mutts took care of them. Now there's only two Careers left, Beetee from Three, and us. Eventually, if the Gamemakers don't first, the Careers will go after Beetee and then pick us off.

My mind goes to dark thoughts again as everyone settles down for sleep. Blight's keeping watch.

I watch Finnick as he settles down next to Johanna, maybe a little too close. Then I wonder how close their friendship really is. I shrug it off as I lie down in a clump of moss. Peeta won't sleep next to me tonight, I don't think, not after what I did. Closing my eyes, I try not to think about those mutts that attacked us earlier. Clearly the Gamemakers are getting annoyed with me, after that little incident I had with Finnick. But they could've killed me when they had the chance, so why didn't they? Maybe the Capitol still likes me and doesn't want me dead yet. I'm pulled from my thoughts when someone lies down next to me. I open my eyes seeing Peeta position himself beside me. He doesn't say anything as he pulls me into his arms. I sigh through my nose, resting my head on chest. He may be angry with me but he'll still be here to keep the nightmares away…

When I open my eyes again, it's still dark out. It felt like I had just closed my eyes. Something hard pierces my back and I grimace. I then realize in horror that I'm not wrapped around Peeta anymore. I'm moving. Someone is dragging me, with their hands hooked under my armpits. I lean my head back to see a dark figure hovering over me. I can't make them out. Instantly I think it's the enemy and I begin thrashing about, snapping and scratching.

"Stop it! Geez," hisses the figure above me.

"Blight?"

They release my arms. I brace my fall with my hands and grunt when my hands hit something hard. I stand up, turning to face him. Many trees hover overhead, casting shadows in every area of the jungle. My eyes can just make out Blight's head. There's blood trickling down his forehead, travelling down his temple. He looks roughed up.

"What's going on? Where's Peeta?" I demand. I reach for my bow but I remember that I'm out of arrows. Then my hand finds my knife, tucked on my leg sleeve. I clench the handle of the knife tightly in my hand and aim it towards Blight. Some light from the sky shines on the silver part of the blade, reflecting off the light. Shiny weapon.

"Calm down, will you?" Blight says, holding up his hands slightly in surrender. He takes a meaningful step toward me but I jerk away from him.

"Where is Peeta? And Finnick?" I demand again. Why did I just mention Finnick? Should I really care of his whereabouts? Either way, I need answers. Right now I find Blight as a threat. "Why did you drag me out here?"

"Please, just relax…" he says slowly, moving toward me innocently.

That's close enough. I lash out at him with the knife. I guess I cut him somewhere – above the eye, I believe – because he cries out and holds his eye with his hands.

"Holy _crap_!" he cries in surprise. He wasn't expecting me to do that.

He should've.

I'm about to ask him again where the others are but I hear a voice calling my name in the distance. "Peeta!" I shout back, hurrying away, leaving a whimpering Blight behind. I tear through the trees, running blind. It's so dark. It's so quiet. Where is he? Leaves and vines smack against my face as I push forward, believing I'm heading in the right direction. There's no sign of anyone anywhere. Suddenly something hard whacks me in the face and I fall to the ground. I begin to wrestle with whoever is attacking me. The knife had fallen elsewhere and I am unable to reach it. I'm assuming my attacker is Blight, since he is the only person I've seen since I woke up.

Then I'm hit on the head again, harder. The blow was so hard, I'm dazed for a moment, falling to my back. I see stars obscuring my vision. The heavy weight of my attacker collapses on top of me and that's when a piercing pain explodes within my arm as the tip of a blade digs through my skin. They twist and turn the knife in my arm, causing me to cry out. They clamp a firm hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. The pain is so strong that I'm feeling dizzy. A second later, they withdraw the knife.

"Stay down and shut up, " hisses a voice in my ear.

Johanna.

I guess she's betrayed me too like Blight. They are District partners after all. Districts have to stick together. Before I shout out to her for betraying us, her weight leaves my body. I hear the sound of her running footsteps fading away and then silence. I stay on the ground for a moment, waiting until the dizziness goes away. When I'm feeling a little better, I pull myself to my feet weakly. I give a cursory glance toward my arm. It's bleeding from the wound that Johanna made. Snorting, I begin to run through the trees again.

Where _is_ Peeta?

Unexpectedly the ground begins to shake underneath me. It's rumbling uncontrollably, I can hardly keep my balance. What's going on? Eventually I fall to the ground. Trees and other vegetation have begun to fall and collapse around me. There's nowhere to escape. I stand up anyway and try to push on to search for Peeta. I have to find him. I've become so desperate that I'm breathing heavily and not watching where I'm going. That's when I'm hit on the head so hard, my vision becomes obscured and I fall to my back. A tree falls right beside my head and I don't even so much as flinch.

This is how it ends, I decide.

Peeta's probably dead. Finnick too perhaps. Now it's my time to die.

I blink up at the stars letting the whole jungle collapse around me. Any minute a tree will fall on me. It's just a matter of time. I stare upward, watching as the brightest star begins moving toward me. The canon goes off. Signifying my death probably. Then the hovercraft comes into view, a large claw extends towards me to take my body away. I close my eyes and let them take me away.

I'm dead.

**To be continued…**

_I'm sure I made a few errors in this chapter, but hopefully not too many. I do read over the chapters but I don't catch everything. Well finally, we'll be officially entering Mockingjay in the next chapter. Hope you guys loved the Catching Fire version. Things won't be too much different in Mockingjay, they'll still be going to the other districts and shooting propos, but there's still enough differences to make the story interesting._

**_Chapter 17 Sneak Peek_**:

"Katniss, please just relax," Blight says. I'm all reminded of when he told me the same thing when he dragged me around in the jungle. There's a bandage above his eye, where I cut him ─ to my satisfaction ─, and he's clean as if he recently took a washing.

"I will _not_ relax," I growl at him. "_Traitor_."

He looks away from me.

Then I turn to Haymitch, grabbing him by the collar with one hand, and holding the shiny point of the scissors to his exposed throat in my other. "_Where is he_?!" I demand, giving him a vigorous shake.


	17. Truth

**Chapter 17**

**Truth**

**Updated: 3/3/2014**

When I regain consciousness, I try to open my eyes. They won't open. Afraid that I've gone permanently blind, I begin to panic. Then I realize that there are bandages over my eyes. I'm tempted to rip them right off carelessly but as to not hurt myself, I do the opposite. Slowly I peel the bandages off my closed eyelids, the sticky part slowly ripping from my skin. When they're off, I toss them away elsewhere. When I open my eyes, I am welcomed by cloudy vision and bright lights. The light burns my eyes briefly and I have to shield them with my arms. I blink quickly until my sight clears up. Only one of my eyes are still obscured but the other one is just fine. There's a slight burning sensation, though I've suffered worse pain that this.

Lights hang above the ceiling lined up in rows of patterns of rectangles. My gaze travels the entire ceiling until they begin to move downwards, toward my surroundings. I see that I am in a white room with white floors and walls. Other than the bed I'm lying on and small table positioned at my bedside, the room is empty. I glance down at my arm where Johanna dug her knife through my skin only to see that the wound is wrapped in bandages. My mind travels to the events that happened before I passed out. I was betrayed by Johanna and Blight, and probably Finnick too. Peeta went missing.

_That's right, I need to find Peeta!_

By sitting up abruptly, my head throbs painfully and I feel slightly lightheaded, the room spinning in odd ways. I was hit upside several times, a few times by Johanna and the last by a falling tree. The pain subsides a few seconds later, the dizziness eventually follows suit. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and pull myself to the floor. There's a door across from me where I approach quickly. The door isn't made of wood like the ones in District 12. This door is made of some kind of hard, metal material, that's plastered with white paint. The strange part is, is that there isn't a doorknob.

I feel with my hands on the door. Maybe this is some kind of special door that only opens from the outside. There's nothing. Nothing. How am I supposed to get out of here? I begin kicking at the door wildly, screaming and banging. With my loudness, someone is bound to come along to see what's wrong. My shoes don't even put dents in the door but it makes loud sounds against the hard metal. Unfortunately, after a while of shouting and kicking, no one comes. Then eventually I sink to the floor whimpering. It's true. The Capitol has me and I'm sure they have Peeta too and Finnick and everyone else. Who knows what they're going to do with us now? Probably turn us into mutts like they did to the other tributes in my last games or run abnormal tests on us or turn us into avoxes. No, I can't have that. I refuse to be used as a pawn. I may as well kill myself now and hope the others will see sense and do the same, if they're here at all or even alive. There is nothing worse than being a Capitol slave, not even death.

Standing up, I begin to approach a table next to my bed with a few tools on top. There are a few useless supplies there and a single pair of scissors. My hand reaches for the scissors, wrapping my fingers around the two silver hoops. I hold it like I would hold a knife. The end of the scissors is very sharp. I aim the point at my heart, gripping both hands around the weapon that'll kill me. It'll be painless and quick if I do it hard enough. A smile tugs at the corners of my lips as I imagine Snow finding my dead body. He'll be upset knowing that he can't use me, that he can't have me. Some sick twisted part of me feels pleasure in having myself dead.

Just when I'm about to stab myself, something catches my eye. It's a card, wedged halfway under a few supplies. I hesitate. Should I kill myself now or find Peeta ─ and that's assuming he's still alive? If I'm still here, perhaps he is too. I release the scissors with one hand and pick up the card in turn. Then I make my way back over to a door, looking around. There's a boxed shaped compartment that allows a card to be slid through next to the door that I didn't notice before. I slide the card through the slot and the door slides open almost immediately. Funny, how I could've killed myself just a moment ago.

I poke my head out the doorway. There are no signs of Peacekeepers around ─ though I'll be more than thrilled to stab one ─ but just a, short void hallway with a few doors along both walls.

I walk down the corridor cautiously until I reach the first door. I can hear the sound of voices inside. Pressing my ear to the door, I focus on deciphering their words. It sounds as though there are at least three people – or four – in there but I can't seem to make out what they're saying. Though the voices are awfully familiar. When I hear the voice I wouldn't have expected, a burning anger develops inside me and I swing open the door.

There, surrounding a long table with a map, is Plutarch Heavensbee, Haymitch, and Blight. Plutarch is holding a mug of what I assume is coffee, staring at me wide eyes. Haymitch stands with his arms folded over his chest. Blight has his palms resting on the table and leaning on them, looking clean and washed.

Whoa…wait. Blight? He betrayed me, if I recall correctly.

"It's about time you woke up, sweetheart," says Haymitch in a sarcastic tone. "Have you broke down that door already to get here?"

"What the _hell_ is going on?" I demand, shakily. I hadn't realized I was breathing heavily and I was holding the scissors out, ready to stab someone. "Are we in the Capitol?"

"No," says Plutarch formally. "We're actually heading to District 13."

_District 13…?_ My mind is going wild. What's going on here? I begin to ask more random questions but Haymitch tries to force me to calm down.

"No!" I snap. "Where's Peeta?"

"Katniss, please just relax," Blight says. I'm all reminded of when he told me the same thing when he dragged me around in the jungle. There's a bandage above his eye, where I cut him ─ to my satisfaction ─, and he's holding his own mug.

"I will _not_ relax," I growl at him. "_Traitor_."

He looks away from me.

Then I turn to Haymitch, grabbing him by the collar with one hand, and holding the shiny point of the scissors to his exposed throat. "_Where is he_?!" I demand, giving him a vigorous shake.

Plutarch and Blight are quick to pry me away from Haymitch, one of them twisting my wrist awkwardly to get me to release the scissors. I struggle wildly as they try to force me into a chair.

"Calm down," Blight hisses. "No one's a traitor here."

I keep struggling, using my nails to scratch his arm, drawing blood. Hm, didn't realize how deadly my nails were.

"What the hell!" he exclaims, still holding me down. "Are you trying to kill me? I already have enough bruises to deal with!"

I realize they won't let me go until I've stopped moving, so I let myself go limp in the chair. Blight moves away to tend to his arm while Plutarch stays gripping my shoulders too tightly that I wince.

"You want to know where Peeta is?" Haymitch asks, up in my face. I nod. "Well, sweetheart, if you would stay down and just _relax_, I'll tell you where he is."

I sit there quietly with my hands clenched into fists on my lap, readying them up if I have to punch Haymitch in the throat. I try to control my breathing.

Haymitch moves away from me. He looks tired and stressed. He has bags under his eyes as if he hasn't slept in days and he looks unkempt. But being unclean isn't new for Haymitch. "Peeta's here," he sighs finally.

I feel my belly blossoming with relief. "Where here? Is he okay? Is he hurt?"

Haymitch folds his arms over his chest, his expression serious, as if he's thinking about whether or not to tell me of Peeta's whereabouts. "He's…" he starts reluctantly. "Well…I'll start from the beginning."

And this is what they all tell me:

As soon as the Quarter Quell was brought up, announcing the 75th Hunger Games, they formed a plan amongst themselves. The plan was always to get me out of the games before I was killed. The uprisings, everything, everyone, looked up to me and they couldn't just let me die without taking that chance. Most of the tributes were in on it; Finnick, Johanna, Blight, the Morphlings, that tribute that sacrificed himself for me, and a few others. Now we're being taken to District 13, that was long thought to be extinct, but in fact was hidden underground in a far location, away from the Capitol, from Snow's evil clutches. And me and Peeta weren't told about any of this to keep the secret safe.

I stay sitting there, stiffly after they're done. That relief that once filled my belly is now distorting into that of anger and betrayal. "You didn't tell me," I say so quietly my voice is almost inaudible. The anger is boiling madly within me, ready to push itself out.

"We couldn't risk you knowing thus Snow finding out," says Plutarch, giving me a sympathetic expression. He's standing by the table again, assuming I won't try anything. "It was for the best."

"And we only kept Peeta alive because we knew you wouldn't go on without him," Blight adds quickly. "That's why we made sure to keep you _both_ alive."

I think about this for moment. Now I understand. All those times I was nearly killed. The tribute hurtling himself at me, everyone always keeping me and Peeta in sight. It was all a set up. A plan that I didn't know about. Fake. All the conversations I had with Finnick, everything we went through, was all a stupid lie? And to think I actually thought we were bonding. He betrayed me.

I try not to think about Finnick and focus on the issue at hand. "Why did Johanna attack me then?" I demand wretchedly.

"Johanna only attacked you in order to remove the tracker from your arm," Haymitch explains. "She couldn't tell you what she was doing because that'd ruin the whole plan."

"But you," I turn to Blight. "Why did you drag me out into the jungle like that? What were you doing?"

"The Careers showed up while I was keeping watch," Blight says. "While Johanna and Finnick fought them off, I had to get you out there, even if it meant leaving Peeta behind."

I grit my teeth angrily but I say nothing else to him. Instead I turn to Haymitch. "I want Peeta."

Everyone's expressions suddenly go grim. Blight looks away, Plutarch glances down at the map uncomfortably, and Haymitch sighs in exasperation. Something's wrong.

"_I want him_…" I growl quietly.

"Katniss, after the attack…" Plutarch begins slowly, unwillingly. "After the arena got destroyed, Peeta…he…" he trails away. The news mustn't be good if even Plutarch can't tell me.

"Peeta's in a coma," Blight blurts out. "Poor guy was knocked out by a blow from one of the Careers. Talk about bad luck…"

Haymitch shoots Blight a glare.

A coma.

I know about comas. It's when someone is in a state of unconscious for a long period of time, with no one able to arose them, let alone knowing when or if they'll ever wake up. I try to stay calm but my clenched hands are quivering. My breathing surprisingly hasn't increased after hearing this news but my mind is spinning, trying to register what I just heard.

A coma. Peeta's in a coma. He's in a _coma_.

I'm trying to decide what's worse, being captured by the Capitol or being in a slumber that he may never wake up from.

"Where?" I ask eventually, my voice shockingly calm.

Plutarch glances at Haymitch as if waiting for consent to tell me, then he turns back to me with a sympathetic expression. "He's in the neighboring room," he murmurs.

I instantly hop off the chair and bolt out of the room, all in one swift movement. The others are calling me back and I ignore them of course. My mind is only on Peeta, getting to him. I shove the door open and exit until I'm in the short corridor again. I march over to the next door. There's a window hovering near it, revealing the inside of the room. I peer through the window. There, lying on a cushioned bed, is an unconscious Peeta. He's still dressed in his jumpsuit but there are bandages over his head where he was supposedly hit and his hands are resting on his stomach. He seems to be sleeping peacefully and I think he can't possibly be in a coma.

I try to wretch the door open, but realize there isn't a doorknob. Haymitch comes to my side, running a hand through his hair tiredly. "Open this door, _Haymitch,_" I say in silent anger. He better have a good idea of how abnormally angry I am with him.

He lets out a sigh before sliding a card through a slot. The door makes a clicking noise before sliding open flawlessly.

I take a few slow, meaningful steps into the room. Peeta's right there, resting on the bed peacefully. Tears well up in my eyes as I approach his body. I'm standing over him now. His face is bruised a bit, perhaps the Careers' doing, but other than that he looks fine. It's hard to believe that he's not just sleeping and he'll wake up at any minute. I lean down to press my lips to his forehead. His skin feels warm against my lips and slightly stiff. I move away, water droplets falling onto his cheeks. I wipe them away with my sleeve gently.

How could this happen? What if he never woke up from this coma? I can't…I can't believe this is happening. Maybe he's better off dead after all. Maybe I'm better off dead. My breathing has increased by now and I feel an overwhelming anger towards Haymitch. I turn around to find him standing by the doorway with Plutarch and Blight. I find myself holding Haymitch by the collar, viciously shaking him.

"You!" I scream outraged. Angry tears are pouring down my face. "If you…if you told me…if you had told me…! I could have saved him! This wouldn't be happening!" my fist collides with his cheek. Before I can get another punch in, Plutarch and Blight pry me away from him. "You didn't tell me! You bastard, you let this happen!" I keep shouting as they drag me away. Then I feel this piercing pain in my neck. Plutarch stuck a needle through me. That's when I feel unconsciousness taking over, my vision going black. "You bastard…" I murmur drowsily before my vision goes completely black.

When I return to consciousness, I don't open my eyes because I would hate to see the annoying, bright lights on the ceiling. I know I'm lying on my bed again, in my room in solitude, because I can feel the soft cushion of the mattress against my back. Here I am, in my own little square boxed room. The scent of food reaches my nose. My stomach twists oddly at the thought of eating. I don't even remember the last time I ate, yet I don't have an appetite. I can't even try to eat if I wanted too. My hands are strapped down to the bed by these hard wraps and I am unable to move them. Whoever did this, is a fool. How did they expect me to eat if I wanted to?

It doesn't matter anyway. Peeta's in a coma and itt's all Haymitch's fault. No…it's all my fault. Thinking about Peeta, lying on the bed in a slumber, brings tears to my eyes. The water cascades down my cheeks infinitely, my fists shaking. I clench my eyes shut tighter. If Peeta's not awake…he can't hold me like he used to. He can't kiss me and tell me how much I mean to him. He can't paint beautiful paintings and he can't bake. He can't do what he loves. Then he may as well be dead, right? He'll continue dreaming forever until he ever decides to wake up. I'm not even sure if one can dream when in a coma.

I just can't believe this is real. I can't believe he won't be there to help fend off the nightmares. My hands squeeze into fists as I try to control my tears. I don't know how long I've been lying there crying. Minutes, hours even. After a while, my eyes can't conjure up anymore tears, so I just stare up at the ceiling without blinking, my mind silent.

I should be in the coma, not Peeta. I should be where he is. I should be _dead_.

The door to the room slides open and I don't even bother to see who it is. "Oh, you're awake." Plutarch's formal tone enters my ears. I hear him make his way over to the bedside, shoes scuffling against the tiled floor silently.

"I should be dead," I say emotionlessly, without looking at him. The lights on the ceiling look very abnormal for some reason. I can stare at them all day, like I have been for the past few hours.

Plutarch chuckles. "No, Katniss, then there would be no point to any of this. You're the Mockingjay." I hear him pull up a chair and sit down. Where did that chair come from?

_The Mockingjay… I am the Mockingjay. _That doesn't sound right. I can't be the Mockingjay…

When I don't say anything, I can feel that Plutarch gets uncomfortable. He clears his throat. "Well, I have some good news, bad news, and terrible news for you," he says cautiously.

"Haven't I heard the worst already?" I murmur. My voice sounds hollow and indifferent. That's not me. That's not Katniss Everdeen.

_My name is Katniss Everdeen, I am seventeen years old. I survived the 74__th__ Hunger Games. I survived the 75__th__ Hunger Games. It was a plan all along to get me out. I wasn't told. Peeta's in a coma. Finnick's probably dead. I should be dead too._

My attempt at keeping myself in the present doesn't work. My gaze is glued to the ceiling and I try to make sense of what's going on. Those lights are _really_ pretty all of a sudden. No, no. Stop. I must be going mad. No, I'm fine. No, I'm not. Peeta's in a coma. Just by telling myself that, it's so hard to accept. He's in a _coma_. I should start crying again. I can't though. There isn't more water left in my body to form them.

"Unfortunately, no," says Plutarch to my question. He leans over and begins to detach the straps to my wrists before sitting back down.

I don't react. I just lay there as if my wrists are still secured. How is Peeta being in a coma not the worst news? "Tell me the bad news first…" I mumble. I don't care what the news is but I know Plutarch won't leave unless he tells me what he has to tell me.

"The bad news is, the Capitol picked up Johanna and Enobaria," he replies, shifting in his seat to get comfortable. "Sadly, Brutus was killed when the arena collapsed. He wasn't as lucky as the rest of you, otherwise we would've pulled him out too."

I think about this for a second. Do I give a damn about what happened to them? No, I don't. For all I know, one of them put Peeta in the coma. Not Johanna though. She's on our side…as far as I'm concerned. I don't bring myself to care though right now. "Terrible news?" I ask. I wonder what could be so horrible that Plutarch has to label it as _terrible news_.

He sighs warily before answering. "Halfway through the games, President Snow sent in hovercrafts to bomb District 12." I look at him in shock. "But," he says quickly before I can say anything. "We managed to get a few of your family members as well as many others out of there in time."

District 12 is gone? My mind tries to take in the information, trying to figure out if this is even real. Wait. Plutarch only said a few of my family members got out. He hasn't told me everything. "What else?" I demand, my mind forming images of Gale and Prim and my mother blowing up in an explosion of chaos.

He hesitates. "The Capitol captured your sister Primrose and are keeping her hostage."

I stare at him for a moment. Is he telling me the truth? In his eyes, all I see his sincere and honesty and sympathy. I don't know what to think. Had I heard him correctly…? The Capitol has Prim? My sister? They have her?! My breathing begins to increase tenfold and my mind begins going wild. Who knows what they're going to do her? Snow has my little sister in his evil clutches now. He has little Prim. He has my flesh and blood with him and I can't even begin to figure out what he's doing to her. I hadn't realized I was screaming and thrashing about uncontrollably. I feel Plutarch pinning me down with his hands as I scratch and holler.

Plutarch calls out to someone. The door opens and in comes his assistant, Fulvia. She's holding a syringe in her hand. As she tries to poke the needle through my neck, I try to bite her hand. They can't keep me here. I need to get out of here and find Prim before Snow can do anything horrible to her. Fulvia moves her hand away just in time and dives back in until the needle pierces through the skin on my neck. I return to unconsciousness instantly.

**(o)(o)(o)**

When my eyes open, I see Prim. We're at our house in District 12 sitting on a sofa while she plays with that chubby cat, Buttercup. She's holding a string, dangling it above the cat's head as it claws at it playfully. My sister looks happy. And I'm happy too because she's safe. She's here. Then the whole scene disappears and I'm in the arena. It's dark out, like it was before I was taken in the hovercraft. I'm curled up next to Peeta, breathing in his warm scent. He's staring into my eyes softly, lovingly. Then his lips begin to move. I can't hear what he's saying. Then the scene vanishes. I'm sitting next to Finnick on the beach, on the sand. We're sitting so close are shoulders are brushing against each other. We watch as the ocean waves overlap the shore endless, beautifully. We don't speak. I feel at ease, sitting here with Finnick. After all we've been through, I feel like we've grown a close relationship. I can actually call him a special friend…or whatever our relationship is.

I blink my eyes. I'm staring at the lights on the ceiling. I'm brought back to reality, to the waking world. I realize that I want to go back to my dream and spend time with Prim and Peeta and Finnick. This isn't the world I want to be in. I hate this evil world. The Capitol is evil, Snow _is_ evil. How did this ever happen? It's not right that this happened. Peeta doesn't deserve this and neither does Prim. I can't imagine what they'll do to my little sister. They'll probably torture her and try to use her against me. I feel like crying some more but I remember that I used up all of my tears already. Instead, I just stare up at the ceiling unblinkingly. As I sit there, I realize that I never did hear the good news Plutarch was going to tell me.

What would good news do for me now anyway?

I turn my head towards the table next to my bed. The tray of food is still there from earlier, probably cold by now. The scent is still fresh in the air. I haven't got an appetite. The thought of food makes my stomach churn in disgust.

I want to kill myself. If I do that, I won't have to worry about anything anymore. No, then that would be selfish of me. I can't die, not yet anyway. Snow has Prim. Somehow I'll have to get to her before he can do anything terrible to her. Just the thought of Prim being locked up in a cell, cold, lost, afraid, makes me want to tear into the Capitol and break her out. I wonder what she was doing before she got captured. Maybe she was playing with Buttercup, or at school, or watching the games on television with our mother. I bet she wasn't expecting Peacekeepers to break in and take her away. No one would've expected that.

I sniffle.

Hours go by but they feel like days. I've been lying in the bed for a long time when Haymitch comes through the door. There's a bruise on his cheek from when I punched him. I didn't think I punched him that hard. I don't have the strength to glare at him as he nears me. "We've landed," he murmurs as he begins unstrap me.

It doesn't take long for him to unfasten me and lead me out of the room. I step outside onto solid ground, a blanket wrapped around my shoulders that Haymitch had given me. I take a look around at my surroundings. District 13 is hidden entirely underground. The aboveground remains smoldering with debris and toxics from the bombs that dropped here years ago. From what I heard, the Capitol knew about the existence of Thirteen and cut off all connections with them and wiped out any evidence of them. The Capitol decided to leave District 13 alone, which in turn leaving everyone to believe that they were wiped out completely. People have been living underground in the tunnels for as long I know. Despite being cut off from society, they are fully operationally and habitable.

Plutarch orders his assistant to take Peeta straight to the infirmary. She hurries back inside the hovercraft without a word.

I turn to Plutarch slowly. "Are there others?" I ask.

"Others?" he echoes bewildered.

"I mean…did anyone else get out other than…me and Peeta and Blight?"

He eyes flicker in memorization. "Oh, I never got a chance to get to that," he says. "Yes. We were able to pick up District 3's Beetee and District 4's Finnick Odair. Also your family resides here in District 13. They'd be glad to see you." By family he only means my mother and Gale. Not Prim. The Capitol has Prim.

I nod. _At least I know Finnick's alive._

As we move underground, Plutarch sends me straight to the hospital to get my eye checked out. Only five minutes underground and I already don't like it. I feel like the walls and ceilings are closing in on me, keeping me imprisoned. At any moment they could collapse on me. The doctors say that my eye will be fine, but will remain hazy for a little while. They give me a silver bracelet with words on it that say '_**mentally unstable**_' before I'm allowed to see my family. I'm instructed to visit the hospital twice every day to check my eye for infection and see my progress of remaining sane. I don't like the idea of going to the hospital every day. There are too many white walls and floors and rooms that oddly remind me of a place in the Capitol.

I'm standing in front of my mother's room. Three numbers are carved at the top of the door beside a word; **Compartment 307**. I'm not quick to open the door. I don't know what I'm going to say to my mother when I see her. I know she's upset about Prim and probably already shed her tears for her. Maybe we'll just cry together. After our father died, she turned into a completely different person. Didn't talk much, hardly ate, barely took care of me and Prim. Just knowing that Prim's a Capitol prisoner just adds more to her grief.

I try not to think about how angry I am at my mother as I lift my fist and knock on the door.

**To be continued…**

_Thanks for reading this chapter. Like I said, things will be slightly different. I never liked hijacked Peeta because he was never the same afterwards, that's why I decided to put him a different situation. Don't worry though, he'll wake up at some point in the story and things will become…well…complicated. And no, Prim won't become hijacked instead, just thought I'd point that out. Eventually she'll be rescued from the Capitol along with Annie. I apologize for Finnick's absence. He'll make an appearance in the next chapter. Next update will be on Friday, so stay tuned! _

_**Chapter 18 Sneak Peek**_:

"Mockingjay…" I murmur quietly, feeling anger boiling within me. "Why does everyone keep saying I'm the Mockingjay?" I snap. I've heard enough talk about it already; first Plutarch on the hovercraft and now Gale. Then I'm told that the whole nation is rebelling against the Capitol. I feel like so much pressure has been weighed down on my shoulders, turning them to numbness. "Haven't I got a _choice_?"

"It's not an act of _choosing_, Katniss. It's doing what is right," Gale says, voice turning to silent frustration. He pulls away from hand to lean away from me, in his seat. My hand is cold and lonely now, but I don't care. I place my hand on my lap instead, glowering at Gale.

"Are you saying that the choice has already been made?" I try to keep my voice steady but my words come out in a snarl.

"It was made long before this began," he says.


	18. Choice

_Thank you for all of the reviews, favorites, and follows. I really appreciate it. This chapter is kind of lengthy, but not all future chapters will be this long. So, don't get use to it. Anyway, hope you enjoy._

**Chapter 18**

**Choice**

_Somehow I'm here and I'm not here simultaneously. _

This cell is so dark and cold. When I stare too long, my vision becomes darker and darker and I have to blink several times to adjust. There are many other cells but my eyes are trained on the one holding the little girl with light blonde hair. She's huddled in a corner of her caged, boxed room, barefoot. Her feet has become so dirty that they are dark, almost like black clumps. Her face is stained with tears from crying so much. It's so cold, the ripped dress covering her body doesn't even give her enough warmth. The bowl of brown slop that is supposedly food, rests at the edge of her cage, near the bars, untouched. She cannot stomach food.

Neither can I. But how am I here? I want to help this girl very badly. I can't though. I'm not even really here. I don't even have limbs. Only eyes.

_Can that be possible?_

My question is left unanswered. My eyes turn at the sound of footsteps. Coming down the rusty corridor are two tall figures wearing white uniforms. Both of them are armed. One holds a long, thick, elastic whip and the other holds a knife.

_Peacekeepers_.

They trudge down the hallway purposefully, with stiff shoulders and mechanical strides. Once they've reached their desired location, which is the young girl's cell, they pull the doors open forcefully. As soon as the doors are open, they jump to the side, standing rigid. Then a man steps out from the shadows of the hall, dressed cleanly in a dark suit, smelling of roses and grape wine.

_President Snow… How'd he get here?_

With a gloved hand, Snow takes the whip from the Peacekeeper, wrapping his hand around the handle delicately. He approaches the girl huddled in the corner. He stops just a few feet beside her, folding his hands behind his back. The girl knows he's there but just refuses to look at him. He orders her to stand up and which she does, while keeping her head low. Then he commands her to turn around. And she does reluctantly. I can hear her sniffling as she begins to make tears again. I realize the many bloody scars on her back that I didn't notice before.

_No! No! He can't do this to her! Prim!_

I go ignored. They cannot hear me. She can't hear me!

Snow asks Prim a question that I can't make out because his voice is so low. Prim begs him that she doesn't know the answer while crying her eyes out. Snow shakes his head slowly, glancing down at the whip in his hand thoughtfully. Then he sighs, a low, quiet sigh that's barely audible. Then in one quick motion, he lifts the whip and slaps it against Prim's back.

_No! Please stop! Prim!_

Prim cries out as Snow whips her continuously.

_I can't move! I can't save her!_

Darkness clouds my vision instantly. I forgot to blink.

When I open my eyes again, I realize that I have a body; a body that is covered in my sweat. I sit up, pushing my fingers through my damp hair, breathing heavily. The vivid nightmare is still clear in my mind. I can still see Prim being whipped by Snow and I feel myself begin to cry. The dream felt real…too real…and knowing Prim isn't here opens up a dark despair within in me. Tears fall from my cheeks, mixing in with the sweat that seeped through my pours during my slumber. I clench at the wet bed sheets and let out a raspy breath. I feel like my whole world is crumbling apart, piece by piece. The Capitol has Prim. Peeta's in a coma. What else can go wrong that could add to my distress?

I manage to climb out of the bed sluggishly, with shaky movements. Just those little motions seem to take so much energy out of me and all I want to do is climb back into bed and sleep. Sleeping is no longer an option because I'll be asking for nightmares and top of that the bed is all sweaty. I hate being underground. It's far too hot and closed off. The lights are dimly lit in the room, as it is in every part of District 13. There are only so many furniture in my boxed bedroom; the bed itself, a small dresser, and mirror hanging on the wall. No windows. Nothing related to the outside world in sight.

Even when I stand in the shower, letting the warm water trickle down my bare body, the nightmare still roams my mind. My many attempts at pushing away images of Prim being whipped by Snow are futile. I can literally feel her pain, feeling the firm elastic of the whip slamming against my back and I tense. I try to scrub away the thoughts and dirt from my body with a cloth. I go to my hair next, scrubbing away with the lavender soap. There is a time limit to how long you can spend in a shower in order to save water. Three minutes or less. If you go over the time limit, the shower will cut off automatically and if you've still got soap on your body then that's unfortunate for you.

When I entered my Compartment yesterday, my mom was there. I felt that I should be angry with her still, for neglecting me and Prim all those years, and maybe even for not protecting Prim when the Capitol took her. But when I saw my mother, her face stained with tears and so many emotions crossing her features, I threw myself at her. We embraced each other tightly, crying until we had no tears left. For once, I felt protected under my mother's hold. I felt like she was _mom_ again, making everything better with her soothing words and the rubbing of her hand on my back. Knowing that she was here to comfort me, made me feel that much better in that short moment. I thought I use to hate my mother, but I guess I never did. I don't care anymore because we need each other now, more than ever.

Gale had come in soon after.

Gale… My hunting partner, my best friend. The same one who I used to hunt in the woods with, the one who was always there for me. The one who sat watching the sunsets with me by the lake on Sundays. He embraced me then. I held him tight and buried my face in his neck, with the feeling comfort washing over me. I thought I had never felt so relieved, so safe, and protected wrapped in his arms. Gale with his gruff, handsome face, and strong arms. My friend. My family. Just the thought of him here was enough already.

I pull open the dresser drawer. Inside are many pairs of gray pants, shirts, and sweaters. District 13 attire. I take out one of each except the sweater before closing the drawer. I slip on the clothes, feeling quite clean and refreshed. I may have washed away my dirt but I didn't wash away the nightmare that still haunts my thoughts. As I remove the wet sheets from the bed, I try to focus on what I'm going to do tomorrow. Visit Peeta maybe and talk to Gale or Haymitch. My anger towards Haymitch is still there. The fact that he didn't trust me enough genuinely angered me. He could have told me. Am I not trustworthy to him? Either way, I need answers, and I won't let this anger get in my way of getting them.

After I'm done, I throw the dirty sheets into a basket. Then I climb into the bed, tucking my legs under me in a sitting position. I don't sleep for the rest of the night. I only stare at the wall for hours until my mother enters the room. She tells me that I'd better get breakfast before they close the cafeteria. She has bags under her eyes and her cheeks are stained wet from all the tears she shed the day before. She didn't sleep either, I presume. I only nod my head as a response and she retreats, shutting the door behind her gently.

In the mornings, the cafeteria stays open from 7:00am to 8:45am. If anyone misses breakfast, then they'll have to wait until lunch which is from 11:30am to 12:45pm; leaving dinner from 7:00pm to 8:45pm. Everyone is welcomed to eat as any food they like that is offered but are only supposed to get just enough. It's considered a waste if you don't eat all of your food. No one can take food from the cafeteria to eat somewhere else if they wanted to. They can only eat within the cafeteria, no exceptions. The consequences of dishonoring these rules, are unknown to me. I know that the repercussions can't be severe though. I'm not sure anyone can sneak away with food, unless they bring a bag, because there are guards standing on every corner of the facility.

Food doesn't appeal to me. I want to feel hungry but after all the events that occurred, finding out that Peeta's in a coma and Prim being captured by the Capitol. My body just won't allow me to be hungry. Gale, sitting across from me at the table, doesn't bother trying to urge me to eat something. He hasn't even touched his own food. A fork and knife lay on both sides of his plate, cold and lonely. I'm holding my fork though, jabbing gently into the syrupy pancakes on my plate, but I never put any into my mouth. I don't even know why I fixed myself up a plate. Sooner or later, Gale and I will have to eat the food, or it'll be proclaimed as waste.

The both of us are silent, staring down at our plates deep in our own thoughts. I keep pondering on Prim and Peeta. I keep wondering if I'll ever hear Peeta's voice again, feel his touch, see his smile. Will he ever hold me like he used to at nights when I needed him? Or comfort me when times are tough? I know Peeta had deep feelings for me. I cared for him strongly too but I'm not sure what _that_ even means. Can I genuinely be…in love with him? Thinking about it, the word, makes me feel…strange. I've never used that word, never spoke or thought it. I can't be in love with Peeta, at least not in that aspect. He's just…a very close person to me.

I'm taken from my thoughts when Gale speaks for the first time. "It's been four days." His voice is low and unrecognizable. I can't remember the last time I've seen him so distant.

_Four days_. I echo. I've been sitting in that room for four whole days? Why haven't I noticed?

"I heard about Peeta," he adds more cautiously.

I don't look at him as I continue to twist my fork around and around in my plate. I don't want to talk about Peeta right now but I guess it's inevitably, what with the circumstances of the situation. Despite that, I try and change the subject. I need to know something. "What happened, Gale?" I ask silently, my voice very audible. My voice sounds different. "To District 12, I mean…"

Gale shifts in his chair. A part of me believes I don't want to know about District 12, the destruction that happened from the bombs. What if there was nothing left? "I was working at the time when the bombs started," Gale begins, voice steady. "Had to get out as fast as I could, everyone was moving so fast, the ceiling nearly collapsed on us…" I know what he means. He works in the mines which is underground. Even though Gale is here, now, alive, fear for his life clutches at my heart. He could have been killed. "I managed to make it out with a few others in time…" he continues. "I gathered as many people as I could."

"How did..." I hesitate. "…Prim get taken?"

"…I don't know that information," he murmurs sympathetically. "I would've gotten her out in time…if I were only fast enough…"

"No," I cut him off, looking up at him now. I'm not going to let him blame himself for the Capitol capturing Prim. "You couldn't. You couldn't have reached her in time." _If anything it's my fault for not…for not…_ I don't even know how it's my fault, I just feel like it is.

Gale nods his head slowly. Not sure if he's convinced it's not his fault.

"Did you manage to get your family out?" I ask almost fearful for the answer.

I nearly sigh in relief when Gale nods firmly. "They're fine. Still recovering, but fine," he says.

"That's good," I say. I couldn't imagine Gale's family not being alive. He would've been devastated if they didn't survive the bombing.

"Tell me about you," he murmurs, his voice soft. I'm not used to hearing him speak softly. "What happened in the arena? I've only watched up to the point after you recovered from the fire that broke out, then I had to stop because of the bombs. I hear the arena collapsed."

"Um…" My hand begins to tremble. I close it into a fist to stop the shaking. So many events happened after that point, that leads up to Mags' and Seeder's death. I don't want to relive those moments but it's already too late. Images of their faces appear in my mind; Mags eating grapes and Seeder chattering happily. There's a pang in my heart and I want to push the thoughts away, but they refuse to disappear. I can hear my inner self laughing at me wholeheartedly, getting some twisted enjoyment out of my misery.

I must've been silent for a long time because Gale reaches across the table to grip my hand with his larger one. "You don't have to talk about it," he says, giving me a light squeeze. I can feel the rough skin of Gale's palm, from all the time spent in the mines, grabbing hard or heavy objects that made them so gruff.

I nod slowly. Everyone's different. I'm never this depressed and distant. The games have transformed us all for the worst. This isn't me. This isn't Katniss Everdeen. I can't even sit still without quivering uncontrollably and I have to tense my body just to gain control again. The days, those four days I've been in my room, seem to have gone by like hours and the only comfort I had was sitting in a still position with my arms wrapped around a pillow. At least Gale is here now. He's much better company than my own thoughts. But even Gale has become somewhat soft and hollow. He's indifferent. I'm indifferent.

_My name is Katniss Everdeen, I am seventeen years old. I survived the Hunger Games twice. But did I really? The games are never over. There are no winners, just survivors. Peeta's in a coma. The Capitol has Prim. I'm leaning toward insanity. I may as well be dead. It's better off for everyone that way._

I finally decide to speak since it's the only thing I have the strength to do other than twisting my fork around in my plate. "Why are we here, Gale?"

The question seems to pull something out of Gale. His expression grows serious, replacing the soft look that was once there. "The nation is rebelling, Katniss," he says. He tells me that there's a war going on between the rebels and the Capitol and the conflict that's happening in the other districts. Everyone's looking to me as their hero and I give them hope to fight back against Snow. "All they needed was a helping push to take action and you gave that to them. You're the Mockingjay," Gale says ultimately.

"Mockingjay…" I murmur quietly, feeling anger boiling within me. "Why does everyone keep saying I'm the Mockingjay?" I snap. I've heard enough talk about it already; first Plutarch on the hovercraft and now Gale. Then I'm told that the whole nation is rebelling against the Capitol. I feel like so much pressure has been weighed down on my shoulders, turning them to numbness. "Haven't I got a _choice_?"

"It's not an act of _choosing_, Katniss. It's doing what is right," Gale says, voice turning to silent frustration. He pulls away from hand to lean away from me, in his seat. My hand is cold and lonely now, but I don't care. I place my hand on my lap instead, glowering at Gale.

"Are you saying that the choice has already been made?" I try to keep my voice steady but my words come out in a snarl.

"It was made long before this began," he says.

I drop my fork, letting it fall against the glass plate with a clack. I can see everyone else, Plutarch and Haymitch, deciding this for me, but the fact that my friend has even sided with them makes me boil in rage. Gale's words sting me like the syringe Plutarch used to put me out. My fists begin to quiver again, this time in anger. What if I didn't want to be the Mockingjay? What'll they do, force me? I open my mouth to snap at Gale again but then I pause. My mouth clamps shut abruptly as I wonder why I'm so angry in the first place. Shouldn't I feel somewhat honored that I've exalted this high? I don't know, I'm not sure. This doesn't change my mind about being angry at Gale though for not consulting me first.

I've been in that room for four days, I recall. Of course they were all compromising with each other, developing plans and making decisions. I was absent throughout all of that. Now I'm sitting here, throwing accusations at Gale and getting upset with him for no reason. He's been working with them and Haymitch who is the one I feel betrayed me, and maybe that's why I'm so frustrated. When I think about it, other than Haymitch and Plutarch, I don't even know who _they_ are.

"I'm sorry," I murmur brusquely, my voice barely loud enough.

Gale doesn't respond at first, at least not directly to my apology. "President Coin needs _your_ final answer, therefore the decision hasn't been sealed yet."

President Coin, the president of District 13. I recall meeting her once, one of those days when I was sitting my room. Plutarch came in to introduce her to me. I barely remember her. I know that she has a strict personality, firm posture, and a few gray strands of hair in her hair that I believe is a wig. When she spoke, her voice was stern and curt, and her movements were precise and formal. She told me her name, told me it's an honor to have me, shook my hand, and that was it. I've never seen her since then. I wouldn't want to either. Something tells me she isn't very _fond_ of me.

"I'm guessing she's behind all of this, getting me and Peeta out," I say, lifting my fork again to twist it around in my plate.

Gale nods. "She's the one who made it feasible, with the help of Plutarch and Haymitch, of course," he says. "Luckily they got you out when they did or you would've been brought down along with the arena."

"That explains why I'm still alive," I say. "Sounds like she really cares about me," I add sarcastically.

"That or maybe because you're one tough human being. No one can put a dent in you," he says. Then he laughs, a laugh that's wholehearted and one that I haven't heard in a long time. So many memories comes with laughter so I have to join in. Just a moment ago we were angry with each other and now we're laughing like idiots. Even after our laughter dies down, I'm still smiling. It's been a while since I shared a laugh with Gale and I would never had thought it would be over Coin.

I reach across the table to take his hand in mine once more, squeezing him gently. "It's really good to see you Gale," I say, beaming.

"You too, Catnip." Gale smiles at me.

I pull away from him then. "So what's next?" I ask.

"I think they want you in Command later, if you're up for it," he says. "They wanted to give you some time to recover, and I hope you have. For now, we can do whatever you want."

"Anything we want underground. Sounds exciting," I murmur, rolling my eyes.

Gale chuckles. "They want to keep us sedated and sustained, make us follow their strict rules and regulations," he adds quietly, as to not bring attention from the guards. The guards are nowhere near us though, but I guess Gale doesn't want to take any chances.

"It's ridiculous," I say. Not that I want some kind of luxury of living, but at least not the follow so many strict, unheard of rules. "They even got me as mentally unstable." I raise my wrist to show my silver bracelet signifying my condition. That's probably because the way I acted on the hovercraft getting here and spending an unusually amount of time in my Compartment with hardly any words being said.

"They label everyone based off of an uncivilized act they did only _once_," he says. "I'm physically violent." He shows me his wrist with the silver bracelet. In large black ink reads "_**physically violent**_."

"Why do you think they did that?" I ask.

He shrugs. "I can't deny I was pretty aggressive when I showed up here."

My stomach sudden gurgles. That's the first time it's growled since the arena. I decide to finally eat my food. I jab my fork into the pancakes and place the fluffy food into my mouth, realizing how hungry I am. Gale starts to eat his own food as well.

**(o)(o)(o)**

We decide to go to the hospital after breakfast. Upon reaching Peeta's room, Gale offers to wait outside, and I am grateful for that because I don't want him to see me cry which I am sure to do. When I step into the room, I find Peeta resting on a bed. I stop in the doorway for a moment to watch him, feeling all these emotions envelope within me. My balance is nearly lost from the weight of the emotions but I catch myself before I fall. My legs are suddenly really heavy as I begin to drag myself over to Peeta's bedside. When I'm there, I pause, staring down at his sleeping form.

His breathing is slow and easy, his chest rising and falling steadily. The doctors seem to be taking care of him, given that he's dressed in gray District 13 clothing and fluids going into his body from these cords. He looks clean and I suppose they gave him a bath. I lean towards his face, inhaling his familiar, scent before placing my lips on his forehead. When I pull away, something wet falls onto his cheek. My own tears. I'm already crying. It's too late now to stop, so I just let the waters cascade down my face silently.

How could this happen? I should've been there for him and this wouldn't be happening right now. He wouldn't be in this wretched coma if I had been there. I'm a terrible person. A terrible fake fiancée. I grab hold of Peeta's hand gently. His hand is warm and soft, just like I remember. I stay there with him, just watching him sleep for a while. After a few long minutes I remember that Gale is still waiting for me out there. I don't want to leave Peeta though. I feel like if I leave, I'll let him go forever. Conjuring up some strength, I give Peeta one last kiss before leaving the room.

Gale is out there, sitting on one of the waiting benches. He has his eyes closed with his arms folded and I think he's sleeping. I go over and place my hand on his shoulder. His eyes open slowly at my touch.

"Were you sleeping?" I ask.

"No," he murmurs, standing up. "Only resting my eyes."

"Sorry I took so long."

"No, don't worry about it. I know you needed your time with him," he says, shaking his head. "How is he?"

"The same but better," I reply.

"Good," he says, stretching out his arms. "What do you want to do now?"

"I want to see Finnick," I say quickly.

Gale tenses instantly. "_Who_?" he asks almost wretchedly.

I gulp nervously. "Finnick Odair. He's in this hospital." Why did I have to go and do that? I should've just kept my mouth shut and left the hospital will Gale. Now he's probably wondering why I would even want to see Finnick. I don't even know myself. Finnick's name just came up, like it was automatic, as if my mouth was programed to mention him. Gale doesn't say anything for a long time and he refuses to meet my gaze. I feel like I should say something, explain myself somehow. "We were allies in the games─"

"I know who he is," Gale says, clenching his hands into fists. I don't know what to say. Apologize maybe? But what for? Gale shouldn't be upset that I want to see a friend, right? We're talking about Finnick Odair though. _The_ Finnick Odair. Gale is very well aware of Finnick's character and behavior. I'm sure he's seen all those times Finnick flirted with me in the games and I would not be surprised if he's thinking about that right now. "Let's go then," Gale says in a whisper.

He leads the way down the hallway. I trail after him, a few steps behind. When we reach Finnick's door, Gale offers to stay outside again. I watch him sit down on the waiting bench, feeling a bit ticked off with him. He shouldn't be getting mad at me for wanting to see a friend. I move over to the door. I'm about to open the door but I freeze. My anger has suddenly washed away and is replaced by fear of what I'll see when I go in. What did I expect? For Finnick to look like a shredded pulp? I don't know. Something must be wrong with him, otherwise why else did he have to go to the hospital?

By inhaling deeply I am given the strength to push the door open. The door pushes open silently. It's dimly lit in the room, darker than the hallway. The light from the doorway beams through the room and brightens it up somewhat. A bed sits across from me, in the center of the room, with a figure lying on top. I shut the door quietly behind me and cautiously make my way over to the bed. There's Finnick, lying on the bed, on his side with his back facing me. There are cords and cables connecting to his arms from a drip packet and a desk butted against the bedside. His leg is wrapped in fresh bandages from when that mutt sunk its claws in.

I can hear his silent breathing as I approach. He might be sleeping, I think, as I pause just right at the bedside. "Finnick?" I say, unsure if he's awake or not.

Then his voice comes out in a whisper, barely decipherable. "I'm mentally unstable." His voice nearly spooks me. He sounds dead like he is no longer from this world. Shallow and untellable.

"So am I," I say as I pull a chair over. I sit down in it, folding my arms over my chest. It's chilly in this room. Then again, hospitals always have their air conditioners on high.

Finnick turns to look with his head, then with his whole body he faces me. His sea green eyes meet mine. They don't carry that same seductive look that I'm used to. They look abnormally stressed and sad and even the slightest of befuddlement. "You're…Katniss?" he asks.

I nod my head slowly.

He narrows his eyes at me, trying to peer closely at me. "Really?"

"Yes, it's me," I confirm.

Finnick pulls himself to a sitting position, leaning his back against the wall that the bed is butted up against to. He runs a hand through his hair and I notice the silver bracelet on his wrist for the first time. _**Mentally unstable**_, the words read. Just like mine. He focuses his gaze straight ahead, tiredly, as he says, "I thought you were…in solitude."

"I was…" I say. "For a little while. Hadn't realized I was sitting in my room for four whole days."

"That's interesting enough," he says. "Makes sense to let you roam around while I'm forced to stay here."

I bite the inside of my cheek. I can't be sure if he's mad or not.

He blinks, concentrating on the wall across from him. "If you're here then I guess you know."

"I do…" I murmur quietly. Everything that Plutarch, Haymitch, and Gale told me, about the plan to pull me out of the arena all along so I could be the Mockingjay and the rebelling nation. Half of the tributes were in on it, including Finnick, which explains why he always kept a close eye on me. I'm still upset with the fact that I wasn't told of this information _before_ I was put into the arena. Haymitch didn't trust me enough to tell me. Thought I would give it away and ruin the whole plan. The stewed bastard.

We are in silence for several minutes, listening to the sounds of the clock ticking on the wall.

Finnick's the one to break the eerie silence with his tired voice. "I'm sorry…I didn't tell you," he says sincerely. "I hope you can understand why we didn't tell you."

"I know," I say more tersely than I intended. "You couldn't risk it. I get it."

With that said, the room dips into another pool of utter quietness. Anger tugs at the strings in my body, indicating its arrival. I don't want to get angry all over again and break out in another argument, so I try to force the emotions away. In place of, I take in Finnick. He looks drowsy and beat up, propped there. There are bandages on a few places of his body but other than minor wounds and his leg, he looks unscathed. His hair is messy, not in its usual fancy fashion. That radiant part of him is still there, only hidden under his mask of depression.

I have never seen Finnick in this state before. I'm used to seeing that flirtatious, beautiful side of him, but it seems that there has been a drastic change and now I'm witnessing another side of him. He's clearly stressed out. Even after all of those times of him teasing me and the flirting, I can still summon the feeling of sympathy for him. The days we spent in the arena, getting to know each other, kissing in the night, and I can actually call him a special friend. Or whatever our relationship is. And whatever is wrong with him right now, I'm willing to help him through it. I won't let my stupid anger ruin things.

"How's Peeta?" Finnick asks without looking at me.

The question makes my body tense up. I just saw Peeta before I came here and he's not exactly doing _well_, being in a coma. "He's in a…coma," I say eventually.

Finnick looks at me now, eyes filled with sorrow for me. "I'm so sorry, Katniss," he says. "I should've been looking after him. It's my fault."

I shake my head, avoiding his sorrowful look. "No, it's not…" _It's the Careers' fault_, I add to myself.

He shakes his head. "No…no, I was _there_," he says. "I was there when it happened. I should have...protected him better…for you."

"Don't blame yourself," I say. "It was never your duty to look after him."

"No, don't you get it?" he raises his voice surprisingly. "That was the plan, the whole agreement. To keep you and Peeta alive, to get you both out _safely_." He grips the bed sheets for dear life, his breathing increasing. "You don't get it!"

I have to lean back in my seat just to get some distance away from him. I wasn't expecting him to snap. "Calm down," I tell him.

Finnick clenches his eyes shut as he tries to control his breathing. He begins searching with his hands around the bed for something. When he can't find what he's looking for, he opens his eyes. He ruffles the blankets frantically looking for something that is not seen. I open my mouth to ask him what he's looking for, but then he finds it wedged underneath the sheets. A short piece of rope that looks worn out and light brown in color. He leans his back against the wall again and starts to tie knots in quick, easy motions.

I remember now. Tying knots calms him down_. It relaxes me. Helps me forget about everything that's happening around me_, he had told me back in the arena before it collapsed. Then he told me about when he use to go fishing with his dad and that they had to tie knots a lot to make nets. I watch him for a moment, his hands moving the ends between loops and pulling at them to create a knot. Then he starts over. I wonder if he's permanently gone mad. Now I know that the arena has not only changed me, it's changed Finnick too. This is all because of Snow's ruthless games, torturing everyone and transfiguring our minds completely.

Things will never be the same.

**To be continued…**

_**Chapter 19 Sneak Peek**_:

Finnick places the spoon back down and returns to tying knots. At least he seems rather lively than the other day and less dull. "Anyway, what are you doing here?" he asks without looking at me. "They say I'm deranged and I don't think you should get too close."

"They said that?" I ask in surprise.

"No. But they said something similar."

"Oh…" I murmur quietly. I shift in my seat a bit to get comfortable. The cushion on the seat is pretty soft and I easily get a good position. "I don't think you're deranged, Finnick. If you are, then I have to be too."


	19. Immunity

**Chapter 19**

**Immunity**

**Updated: 3/10/2014**

My mind is never far from Snow's twisted ambition as I'm sitting in Command at a round with the others; Plutarch Heavensbee, President Alma Coin, Gale, and some other soldiers, one named Boggs. I'm sat next to Gale, shifting uncomfortably in my seat as Coin goes on about the war and the rebels.

"You all already know about the war," says Coin. She's the only one standing, pacing slowly around the table with her arms folded behind her back. Boggs, her right hand man, stands rigid by the door listening intently. "It may come to its full potential sooner than expected and if we don't act soon, we'll perish. There's already conflict in a few of the Districts, Two and Eight taking the worst of the blows."

"I hear that the uprising in District 8 is getting worse," pitches in Plutarch. He's sitting across from me at the table, gazing over at Coin. "People are being shot down upon sight for committing a seemingly wrongful act. What do you propose we do about that?"

"For now, we can't do anything," says Coin. "Not unless we have our answer." She pauses next to Plutarch, staring across the table, directly at me.

I sigh through my nose. The Mockingjay, of course. Gale told me that we'd be talking about this earlier. Now I'm actually regretting ever leaving my room. I'm not ready to deal with the war and the rebels and being the Mockingjay. I'm not even sure if I _want_ to do this. If I died in the arena, like I was supposed to, the rebellion would've sparked and they would've carried on without me. This makes me wonder why I'm needed in the first place. Who knew that I would become a beacon of hope and soon lead everyone to overthrow Snow's reign? That's too much pressure for me to take on right now.

"I'll have to think about it…" I say ultimately, avoiding Coin's strict gaze.

"People are at war, Miss Everdeen," Coin says as she begins to pace again. "Every second counts and every second you waste is another life lost."

I narrow my eyes at her. Before I can say anything, Gale speaks first. "Why don't you give her some time?" he counters. "She's still only recovering."

I shoot Gale a grateful look.

Coin eyes Gale oddly. For a second, I think she'll leap over the table and strangle him. She doesn't move though. "Hawthorne, I believe you have no business here. I only asked for the Mockingjay. You are dismissed." She waves her hand in dismissal.

"Why?" Gale snaps, refusing to leave. Boggs comes over and grabs Gale's arm roughly. He yanks his arm free immediately and I think they're about to get into a tussle. I know that Gale's smart enough not to attack someone with a gun, right?

"Let's stay civil," Plutarch says hastily, before either of the males can do anything.

Boggs glances at Coin. She gives him a curt nod and he moves away from Gale to stand by the door again. I snort. He's her right hand man. He'll do anything she says even if it means breaking someone's nose or throwing himself over a cliff.

"He does have a point, Coin," Plutarch points out. "She'll need time to think this through. This is after all a tough decision."

Coin seems to be thinking this over for a second. Then she narrows her eyes and says, "Very well then."

I am dismissed along with Gale. We walk down a hallway together leaving the Command room in our wake.

"I don't like her," I say when we're far from earshot.

"Me neither but we'll need to tolerate her until this is over," Gale says, gritting his teeth. I know he's still upset after that short incident with Boggs.

I nod. I don't think any of this will ever be completely over but I don't say that out loud. The two of us head to Beetee's weaponry room because Gale says that Beetee and him have been working on some weapons together. We find the room that's toward the end of the hall. Gale holds the door open for me. When I step inside, I notice how bright this room is compared to the other parts of District 13. I see many shelves of different types of weapons and a wall that's entirely made up of handguns and machine guns of all types.

There are grenades and other types of explosions shelved on another part of the wall and the other parts of the walls have many different weapons that I've never even heard of.

"Hello!" Beetee greets us, rather overjoyed. I turn to see him making his way toward us from behind a stone table in a…wheelchair. From the looks of it, he must be paralyzed, no control of his legs. The last time I've seen Beetee was in the training center but even then he was able to walk. I don't recall seeing him at all during the games, not even in the bloodpath, and I don't quite know how he was able to survive throughout the whole experience. He must've been hiding out, waiting for the other tributes to kill each other first before he came out.

"Hello, Beetee. It's good to see you," I say, eyeing the wheelchair.

"Same here, same here," he says. Then he nods towards Gale. "Same to you."

Gale gives a curt nod in greetings. "I came to show her what we've been working on," he says, getting straight to the point.

"Ah, yes. Let me show you," he says, pulling himself over to the stone, table like platform. On top are these round, metal items that I didn't notice before. They resemble grenades a lot but not any I've seen before. Beetee picks one up and I see that it's small enough to fit in his hand. "See this here?" he asks me. "This is one of the bombs we've been busying ourselves with. It's no ordinary bomb. I've been tinkering with it delicately to create the precise bomb to wipe out at least two miles in its path." He nods toward Gale. "Your friend here Gale's idea."

He hands it to me and I hold it in my hand, weighing it. It's awfully heavy for something so small. And dangerous too. I wonder how this small piece of metal can wipe out at least two miles. Suddenly I don't want to hold it anymore, thinking that it might unexpectedly explode in my face for just holding it. And to think this was Gale's idea. This is too dangerous, even for him. I carefully hand the bomb back to Beetee.

"I've also been working on a new bow for you," Beetee goes on excitedly. "It's not quite done yet but when I've finish I'll let you test it out with some target practice."

"Thanks," I say. A bow. I haven't held one in a few days, not since the arena. I long to hold one my hand again and go hunting with. I don't suppose I'll ever be able to hunt again, not with everything going on now. "Why would I need another bow though?" I ask in confusion.

"The Mockingjay needs to have the best gear of course," says Beetee.

I snort. Even Beetee has already decided I'll be the MockingJay. I don't get it. No one spoke to me about this yet. But I'm not going to get angry again. Gale goes over to mess with some other strange weapons on the shelves. "What else have you two been working on?" I question Beetee as I watch Gale lift one of the machine guns.

"Many other explosives, guns, and other useful weaponry," he says. "More so, I have been figuring how to hack into the Capitol's system."

"Their system?" I echo.

"Yes. We'll need to be able to access their televisions and take control to air broadcasts for the rebels," he says as he pushes his glasses up.

I won't ask him how he'll do that. "Wouldn't that be risky?" I ask.

"If I'm not careful, indeed," he replies. He rolls over to a computer that's pushed against the wall with many cords and wires attached to it.

Already they decided I'll be the MockingJay and now I have to video propagandas for the rebels? No one asked me first. No one. I guess I shouldn't get so upset though. I'm still considering being the Mockingjay. Why not though? I've got nothing to lose other than my family's life and being the heart of the rebellion seems to make sure they stay alive. I don't know. It just feels like a hundred pounds have been weighed down on my shoulders.

Gale and I leave. As we're walking down a hall, I ask Gale questions about Beetee's legs. I didn't want to ask Beetee personally as to not bring back bad memories for him.

"He never gave me much detail when I asked. He told me that it was the Careers who had done it," Gale says.

I bite my bottom lip. The Careers have done everything to everyone. They've always been considered the most brutal tributes and I'm not surprised that they did something like that. I hate that I'm regretting letting them retreat after we killed Gloss. There were only Enobaria, Cashmere, and Brutus left and they knew they were easily outnumbered. We could have took them out then and maybe Peeta wouldn't be in a coma and maybe Beetee wouldn't be in a wheelchair.

Peeta. Thoughts of Peeta are beginning to swarm my mind. I still can't seem to accept that he's in a coma. Whenever I think of him, I always imagine he'll wake up and hold me in his arms again and tell me everything will be alright. I wish he was here. Then I shake my head forcefully before I can dip into that familiar black hole of depression.

I try to focus on Gale. "Why haven't you ever told me that you were working on weaponry with Beetee?" I question cautiously. I've seen those weapons, those explosives. I'm not very comfortable with the idea of Gale working on such malicious instruments.

"I didn't think it was that important for you to know right away," he says casually.

I frown. I don't like that Gale is keeping secrets from me. This makes me wonder what else he's been doing the whole four days I was in my room. Perhaps he has changed more than I thought.

**(o)(o)(o)**

_The Mockingjay…_

That's what they say…

Sitting feels better than standing today. My arms feel as though they were lifting heavy materials all day – when I haven't – and my muscles are sore all over. My eyes are heavy with sleep and I'm sure I have dark circles by now. I refuse to sleep at night. The nightmares have been haunting my mind for the past week since I've been in District 13. After the events of the other day, I still find myself deep in thought about considering the Mockingjay position.

I'm crouched in a closet filled with boxes of school supplies with my arms wrapped around my knees. My eyes feel like dumbbells and I have to keep catching myself before I fall over. Sleeping in a closet doesn't sound like a wise idea. I'm getting annoyed with my room. Not because my mother spends time there often ─ and I don't want her grief rubbing off on me ─ but because it's too comforting. I mean, there's a bed there waiting for me to sleep in, welcoming me with open arms, and I don't want to fall under its spell. Everyone wants to torture me. But this closet... This closet has everything _but_ soft cushions and pillows.

My mother's favorite activity to do is to work in the hospital. I notice that she's still not over the death of my father and Prim being kidnapped doesn't add well to her emotions, but I can tell she's trying. She puts her mind at work by working in patients. And when she's not at the infirmary, she'll work in the kitchen or in the laundry. She'll do anything to keep her moving, to keep her focused on tasks other than Prim. I know she wants to do something about Prim and so do I. But even we do not have the power to do anything about it at this time.

I want to do something, to keep my mind off of Prim. It's difficult. I've got more issues than my mother. I've got Peeta, Prim, and the Mockingjay to worry about. I don't know if I _can_ be the Mockingjay. I don't think I have the strength to do it. I've become weak, soft, and fragile. My belly isn't even satisfied when I force myself to devour food. That girl who was put into the 75th Hunger Games had more power than I do now. I haven't got a clue who I am anymore. These hands… I gaze down at the rough hands in front of me. These hands aren't mine. This body isn't mine.

Then…who am I?

_My name is Katniss Everdeen, I am seventeen years old. I survived the Hunger Games twice. But did I really? The games are never over. There are no winners, just survivors. Peeta's in a coma. The Capitol has Prim. I'm in District 13 that was believed to be extinct. I'm leaning towards insanity. Am I the Mockingjay? Well…that's what they say… _

Silence feels comforting. I let my eyes close slightly and rest my chin on top of my knees.

_I won't go to sleep._ I keep telling myself that over and over again until I feel darkness swirl through my mind.

Darkness. That's what coats my vision. When I blink, the blackness transfigures into a brightly lit forest. Tall, green trees hang over head with the sun's bright rays bouncing off their leaves. The sonorous sound of a waterfall fills my ears gently and there's a gentle breeze in the air. I close my eyes for a moment to bask in the sounds and feelings. I can feel the soil beneath my feet and it's soft to my touch. When my eyes flutter open, I see him. Standing a short distance away from me next to the tallest oak tree; the same one I climbed back in the arena. But this isn't the arena. This is a peaceful place.

His hair ruffles in the wind slightly, his scent floating through my nostrils. That familiar scent makes me feel warm inside. I want to move toward him, hold him and apologize for not being there when he needed me. I am unable to move though. He shakes his head slowly at me as if he knows what I want to say. He opens his mouth, speaking inaudible words. Then he turns to leave.

"Peeta!" I call him back. At least I'm able to speak.

He pauses, turning toward me. He smiles. "Someone's coming," he says. And he's right. I can hear the sound of running footsteps heading toward us. Suddenly the light disappears and the whole forest becomes shadowy. The trees' leaves vanish before my eyes as they grow to decay, crumbling with age quickly. The sky has turned to night with no stars or a moon in the sight. The cool breeze that was once soft and caring before, is malicious and violent now.

The footsteps have gotten closer. I can't move when I see a familiar, muscular figure emerge from the trees. It's Gloss. He charges toward Peeta with a knife in hand. Suddenly Prim is there, standing next to Peeta, clutching onto him fearfully. They don't move as Gloss runs toward them. He goes for Peeta first, jabbing him in the neck with the knife, and then Prim, doing the same to her.

A scream rips through my throat and then I'm jolted awake. I feel that my face is wet so I must've been crying. I fell asleep, I realize, as I sigh through my nose.

_I can't take this anymore._ I think. I can't even sleep a wink without it turning into this twisted nightmare.

I use my sleeve to wipe away my tears before leaning my back against a shelf. The closet door unexpectedly opens and I look up immediately in surprise.

"What are you doing in here?" Gale asks me, staring down at me in surprise. He wasn't expecting to see me in here. I see that he's dressed in formal District 13 clothing, like the soldiers wear, and his hair is fixed neatly. Handsome.

"Just getting away for a while," I reply, hoping my eyes aren't red.

Gale narrows his eyes. "Well, you can come on out of there, Solder Everdeen," he says extending a hand toward me.

I allow myself to smile a little as I take his hand. "Much appreciated, Soldier Hawthorne," I say as he hauls me to my feet and pulls me out of the cramped the closet, shutting the door behind us. Even when we're walking down a long corridor, I don't release his hand. His hand just feels warm and comforting for some reason. He doesn't seem to mind though. We continue down the hall and I notice nothing familiar. I've never been down this hall before.

My mind is still being tormented by the nightmare, but curiosity is just around the corner. I see a guard standing in front of a door with his hands clasped behind his back, much like Coin did earlier. Gale and I are about to carry on passed him but I hear odd sounds coming from inside. I pause. Gale stops too.

"Keep moving," the guard growls robotically. His voice is deep and he sounds very formal.

I'm not afraid of him. I have more important matters to be afraid of. "What's going on in there?" I question.

"I said keep moving," the guard repeats. He's not going to tell me. I can see that he's standing rigid, perfect posture, and stern look. I would expect him to have a gun wedged in its sheath on his belt but the slot is empty.

"Answer the question," Gale growls, releasing my hand.

That's when I hear a faint scream inside. It sounded familiar. I move towards the door but the guard catches my arm roughly. Next thing I know, Gale and the guard are scrambling on the floor, throwing hard blows. I take this opportunity to pull the door open to see my Prep team strapped to chairs, looking beat and bloody. Boggs is in there as well as a few other guards. One of the guards are pulling back their arm, ready to throw a punch at Flavius's already bruised face.

"Stop!" I shout, rushing over. Boggs grabs my arm before I can reach Flavius. The guard seems to have heard my call and stops before throwing the punch. I try to yank my arm away but Boggs' is too strong.

"What in the hell are you doing in here, Soldier Everdeen?" he demands. He's quite surprised that I'm here at all.

"That's my prep team!" I exclaim.

Boggs squeezes my arm even tighter and I wince. "They work with the Capitol. We are doing business here, I suggest you leave," he says.

"Katniss! Thank goodness!" shouts Octavia in relief. There's a cut on her bottom lip that's gushing blood and its quivering slightly. Her eyes hold sincere relief and gratitude at seeing a familiar face.

Surprisingly, Boggs releases my arm and I hurry over to Octavia first. No one tries to stop me as I undo her straps. "They aren't evil like you think," I say to Boggs. "They're just my prep team. My friends." When I'm done with Octavia, she throws her arms around my neck in a tight hug.

"I'm so glad you came when you did!" she says, as she begins to weep.

When she releases me, I undo Venia's straps next. "These brutes here were torturing us. Asking us questions that we don't have answers to!" she snorts indignantly. Her face isn't as bruised at Flavius's. She only has a swollen eye and a small cut near her temple.

"It's okay. You're all fine now. Let's get you to the hospital," I say, moving to Flavius next.

**(o)(o)(o)**

I take my prep team to the hospital where they are relinquished and refreshed. Gale and that guard had gotten into quite a fight, a few of the other guards had to break them apart. Luckily neither of them were injured badly but I insisted Gale come to the hospital as well. I know that Boggs is going to tell Coin about this little incident to decide of my prep team's place here in Thirteen. Knowing Coin, she may have they have executed or worse for being a Capitol citizen. She'll have to understand that my prep team aren't loyal to Snow. They're loyal to me. They are my friends.

Venia goes on about how much of brutes the guards were again as a nurse dabs at her face with a cotton ball. I'm barely listening as I nod my head. Two other nurses are working on Flavius and Octavia's faces. Only Flavius had the worst of the beating, with two swollen eyes and lips, and deep cuts on parts of his face. He'll live though, fortunately, but his face will be left with permanent scars.

I can't believe this happened. Somehow I'll have to protect my prep team before Coin can make any cursory decisions.

_The Mockingjay…_ A voice says in my head.

The Mockingjay can offer them immunity and maybe, just maybe, Coin will agree to a certain amount of conditions. Yeah. That's what I'll do. As I'm leaving the hospital room, I realize that I've just accepted that I am the Mockingjay. Where did that come from? I guess I knew all along that I would agree to this eventually. It was just a matter of time. I go check on Gale who's sitting on a bed in another room as a nurse dabs at a cut above his eye with a cloth. Gale flinches away at her touch.

"Could you stop that?" Gale says in annoyance. "I said I was fine."

"You should not have gotten yourself into trouble then, boy," snaps the nurse. She's not polite like the other nurses. She dabs at Gale's cut again more roughly this time and he winces away. He scowls at her.

When I step into the room, Gale looks glad to see me. I wait until the nurse is done clearing up his face and bandaging him up. Only then he's released. We walk down the clear, white hallway together. Gale has his hands in his pockets.

"You didn't have to do that," I murmur.

"Do what?" he stares at me in bafflement.

"Fight that guard," I reply. "I could've handled it myself."

Gale shrugs lightly, looking away from me. "It was an instinct to protect you. I can't help it."

"Thanks then," I murmur. I think for a second. I should tell him about my decision. "I've decided I'll be the Mockingjay," I say quietly.

"You have?" he says, not at all surprised.

I grit my teeth with my mouth closed. He always knew I would agree. He knows me _too_ well. "Only under a certain amount of conditions. I'm making a list," I say. "So far I only have my prep team in mind, allowing them to stay at Thirteen without being tortured. Anything else I should add?"

Gale thinks for a moment, gazing straight ahead. Then he says, "Hunting."

"That's right," I say, remembering. Gale and I'll need our hunting time. My heart fills with excitement at the thought of hunting in the woods again; feeling the wind in my face, breathing in the scent of fresh air, and setting up snares. It'll be like the old days. Only it won't be at the same time. We'll still be at war but at least it's a way to escape. "I'll have to stop at Command real quick. I have to tell Coin of my immunity list," I say and Gale nods.

Since I'm already here in the hospital, I decide to stop by Finnick's room first. I haven't seen him since the day before yesterday. I wonder how he's feeling today. Not getting any saner than I am, I suppose. I leave Gale, telling him I'll go see Peeta. If I told him I would be seeing Finnick, he would get upset again, and I don't want him mad at me. I've already got enough troubles on my mind and I don't want to deal with his jealousy.

When I push the door open, I notice how dimly lit the room is like last time. The brighter light from the hall shines through, creating a bit more light in the room. Unfortunately, I have to shut the door, as to be undisturbed, thus shutting out the bright light. Finnick's sitting propped up on his bed, with his back up against the wall, threading a piece of string in his hands. I approach his bedside slowly. I notice there's a tray of food resting on the table next to the bed, that looks like mashed potatoes or some other sort of food, with a cup of juice next to it. Doesn't look like Finnick has even touched his food.

"Nasty?" I ask, referring to the untouched food, as I take a seat in the chair that's there.

Finnick stops tying, setting the string aside. "Yeah. I don't know why they feed us this. Look at this," he says, lifting some of the slop in a spoon.

I laugh. It looks like mashed potatoes but I sure wouldn't eat it if it is. Knowing Finnick, I'm sure he's probably use to fancy food and beverages.

Finnick places the spoon back down and returns to tying knots. At least he seems a bit lively than the other day and less dull. "Anyway, what are you doing here?" he asks without looking at me. "They say I'm deranged and I don't think you should get too close."

"They said that?" I ask in surprise.

"No. But they said something similar."

"Oh…" I murmur quietly. I shift in my seat a bit to get comfortable. The cushion on the seat is pretty soft and I easily get a good position. "I don't think you're deranged, Finnick. If you are, then I have to be too."

He looks at me finally with a cocked eyebrow. I see those sea green eyes look tired and circles have appeared around them from the lack of sleep. This isn't Finnick Odair. Where did that pretty District 4 victor go? Before I grew to know him, I would've been glad that he's not trying to tease and flirt with me. But now that I know him, I'm wishing he'll go back to his old ways. This Finnick is someone else. But I can't complain. I'm not Katniss Everdeen anymore either. The arena has changed us, everyone actually. Far as I know, we're the only two who have gone mad from the experience.

I show him my wrist with the silver bracelet dangling from it.

Finnick's eyes grow to that of understanding. "I see," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "How are you feeling?" he asks me eventually.

"Me? I am the one who should be asking that question," I say. "I'm not fine though, thanks. How about you?"

"Does this look okay?" he asks, pointing at his baggy eyes. At first I think he's trying to be playful about it, but he's not. He's serious. "I haven't slept since I've been here. Whenever I close my eyes dark thoughts enfold and torment my mind. And I keep having nightmares about…about…" he trails away as if he's struggle to find the right word to say. He squeezes the piece of string in his hands tightly. "Annie." He managed to push out the name and it seemed have taken a lot of strength out of him.

I stare at him for a minute, feeling sympathetic for him. Annie. I'm not sure who she is to him. All I know is that she's very important to him and it pains him when someone speaks about her. I remember when we were back in the arena, when I mentioned Annie his demeanor completely changed and he became utterly hollow like a ghost. Then, at least then, he was able to control his sanity but now he's struggling more than ever. The Capitol has Annie like they have Prim. From what I heard, the Capitol picked up Annie to use against Finnick for questioning. I can't imagine how Finnick must be feeling right now.

"I keep seeing them torturing her in my dreams…" he goes on, struggling to keep from shaking. "But I know they won't be torturing her."

"What do you mean?

"I never told her anything secretive, nothing important, so she doesn't know…_anything_."

I blink. He thinks that they won't only be torturing, but perhaps even…killing her. He doesn't know that for sure though. "You don't know that. She could still be alive─"

"─That's what I'm worried about!" he exclaims unexpectedly, dropping the string altogether. I sit back in my chair to gain some distance from him. "If she's alive, they can be doing all kinds of inhumane things to her," he continues, breathing increasing. "I was supposed to protect her…" His voice is becoming suddenly watery. He clenches his eyes shut. "I've failed her…"

I bite my bottom lip, feeling bad for him. I hate seeing him in this state, and it brings pain to my chest. "I'm sorry, Finnick…" I say honestly.

Finnick swallows. "Maybe she's better off dead then," he murmurs weakly as if I hadn't spoken. "I'd rather have her dead than being kept in the Capitol for the rest of her life." Then he starts to quiver, gripping the bed sheets for dear life. "No...I can't stop...I _can't_ let it happen…!"

I watch him as he snatches up his rope and begins to quickly tie. I sit there watching him in sympathy. Finnick is just so messed up. Broken. If only someone could put his pieces back together. Maybe I would, if I could. I can't even put myself back together. Our minds are consumed by shattered pieces of a vase and not even those pieces can be formed back together.

"It's so dark here at night…" he says suddenly, quietly, currently undoing a tight knot. "So dark even when I close my eyes and I feel like it's trying to take me…and it's winning…" He starts another knot, hands moving slower now. He's starting to relax a little, his breathing slowing down.

"No," I say firmly. "I won't let it take you, understand?"

He doesn't look at me, let alone acknowledge. His eyes are glued to his string.

"Finnick!"

Finnick looks up at me now as if breaking out of a daze. "Yeah?"

"Understand?" I repeat.

He searches my eyes, my face for a long moment before nodding. I expect him to return back to tying. Though he decides to set the string down and reach over to grip my hand instead. It's awkward because I'm too far from the bed, so I pull my chair forward a bit until my hand is resting on the bed cushion beside him, his hand holding mine firmly. We stay that way for a while, holding each other's hand, listening to our own breathing. My eyes travel from our clasped hands to Finnick's form. For once I take in what he's wearing. One of those hospital gowns that I find hideous and a pair of those gray District 13 pants underneath. As terrible as the gown is, only Finnick can make it look nice without even attempting to. Beauty hidden beneath morose.

"I'll stay with you…" I say.

"Hm?" By Finnick's tone I can tell that he's confused.

I bite my bottom lip. Should've thought this through. "Peeta and I use to keep the nightmares away from each other…" I murmur quietly. "Maybe we can keep them away from each other."

Finnick's expression turns into one of understanding. "You don't have to do that, Katniss. You don't want to stay in this hospital room with me and eat the unrefined food," he says, shaking his head.

I lean forward. "But I want to," I say, my voice sure.

Finnick grows quiet for what seems like forever. His thumb caresses the skin on my hand in small circles with a thoughtful expression. I feel electricity surging through my skin at his soft touch. "Okay. Thank you…" he says eventually.

I swallow, wondering what I've just got myself into. There's no harm in it though. We'll see if it helps because I've only known one person who's ever able to get rid of my nightmares and that's Peeta. Maybe Finnick and I can do the same together. "I'll come back later. Coin's going to announce the Mockingjay's approval to the citizens of Thirteen. But I first have to create an immunity list," I say.

"Immunity?" Finnick echoes.

I nod. "A list of conditions regarding the Mockingjay's desires," I say. "So far, I have my prep team written down and hunting time with Gale. I'm going to grant the other victors immunity."

Finnick nods his head slowly in understanding.

"I'll come back later…afterwards."

He stares at our hands in thought for a few seconds, rubbing my skin softly. "Don't forget…don't forget to…" he trails away, having trouble saying what he has to say.

"I know," I say before he can speak anymore. Then I give his hand a comforting squeeze. "I won't forget to add Annie."

**To be continued…**

_The next chapter won't be as long as this one, just giving you a heads up. Stay tuned!_

_**Chapter 20 Sneak Peek**__**:**_

Finnick looks at me now with hopeful sea green eyes. "So you'll stay?"

I nod confidently. "Didn't I clear that up already? I wouldn't be here if I wasn't, Odair."

He smiles, the first in a while. Though it's weak, it's still a smile. I'm glad that I got him to break out of his depression at least for that split second. He turns away from me to focus on the pools of shadows along the walls. I pull my chair closer to rest my elbows on the bed, still gripping his hand. His hand was cold at first but now has become warm since we latched onto each other. Rough and smooth at the same time. Comfortable and uncomfortable. My head lays next to our hands and I keep my eyes focused on the same wall that Finnick's staring at.

_This is nice._


End file.
